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Hi, I'm Sophurky ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. This week we'll talk about finding the right Halloween costume.
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WHAT SHOULD I BE FOR HALLOWEEN THIS YEAR?
I have started to hate Halloween. I've become a regular Halloween Scrooge.
For years I've either been going out for several hours on Oct. 31 or, if staying at home, turning off the lights and hiding in the basement to avoid handing candy out to the cute little neighborhood kids (and the 20 year olds who drive over from the University and pretend to be 12). Why? Yes, it's partly because I am too cheap to buy candy for the little hoodlums but it's mostly because I get tired of traipsing up or down the stairs every time the doorbell rings (we live in a bi-level so unless one camps out in a chair on the small landing the leads to our front door, it's the stairs every time).
A few years ago I found a way out -- I could celebrate Halloween AND have fun handing out candy, but neither would I have to pay for the candy nor would I have to traipse up and down any stairs. How did I manage this? Did I move to a nice ranch and steal candy to give away? Nope. Good friends of ours started inviting us to come over to their house for a small Halloween party with just a few friends, and we jumped all over that because they not only do they feed us dinner but we hand out their candy to their neighborhood kids because they always buy more than enough. It's perfect!
But now my worst nightmare has come true. No, George Clooney hasn't gotten married. After all these years our friends want to make it a real Halloween Party -- with COSTUMES and everything -- and if there is one thing I hate more than buying candy and traipsing up and down the stairs to hand it out to kids, it's having to wear a costume to a Halloween Party! But it's fun, you say -- it's creative and silly and helps you become someone you aren't for a night. Yeah, yeah, sure -- but remember, I'm cheap, so if I don't want to spend money on candy for kids do you really think I want to spend money on a costume to wear while handing out candy to kids?! 
So, you say -- be creative, make your own costume out of things you already have and you won't have to spend any money. Ah, but there's the rub. I write decent stories and poems here on WdC, but my creativity ends there. I am the WORST person in the world to come up with an idea for, and then be able to implement, a cool Halloween costume (that costs nothing or very little). Want proof? Okay -- one year I put on a large, long bathrobe, stuck a basketball under it, tied the bathrobe belt around it, and went as a pregnant woman. See?
So I need some help from you all this year -- what can I go as to this party that will be fun, funny, clever (and possibly be the best costume there) that is easy to create and won't cost any money? I'd love to hear your ideas -- if you don't come up with something, I'll be back to hiding in the basement in the dark again this year. So my Halloween fate is in your hands (no pressure)!
Sophurky |
Below you'll find some offerings from other WDC members about Halloween and/or costumes:
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter about the "resurrection of vampires," so to speak:
From Robert Waltz 
Sophy, true story:
When this woman I know was a kid, she didn't believe her uncle when he told her that vampires were real. They argued about it all evening, with him trying to convince her that they had a special attraction to 'getting' young girls who didn't believe in them, to no avail. And then it was time for her to go to sleep.
While she was brushing her teeth, her uncle secured himself under her bed.
And waited.
Predictably, sometime in the middle of the night, the girl had to get up to pee. As soon as her feet hit the carpet, two hands reached out to grab young, impressionable ankles.
Needless to say, this woman is NOT a Twilight fan...
I'm not sure how it's possible that my brother is this woman's uncle (unless you know one of my nieces)! Thanks for sharing that -- what a mean ole uncle he is!
    
From Coolhand 
Hey Sophy. I found your newsletter on vampires extremely entertaining, and funny, very funny. Great job! And you're right--no telling what will happen next. But I hope it doesn't involve inlaws.
ACK! Inlaws! Maybe Vampire Inlaws? Or Zombie Inlaws? Either way they suck the life right outta you, lol.
From Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ 
Good vampire comedy, Sophy!
I loved Anne Rice's vampires and also the vampire in the now canceled show, Moonlight. Now there's somebody you can sink your teeth into.
Ta,
WW
Thanks WW!
From faithjourney
Here's my vampire question: If your hundreds of years old, WHY would you want to embed youself in society as a high school student? Who wants to go back to that? And you have 4 years at most before you have to find a new "lifestyle." I've been wondering about that a lot.
Thanks for addressing a question on vampires that I've been wondering about for a while myself!
You are welcome -- I addressed it, but am still waiting for the answer, lol. And I agree with your question, it's so silly!
From billwilcox
Heya SophY...
I agree that vamps have changed from scary to the 'guy-next-door' kind of character. In fact, I wrote about it in the July 1st Horror/Scary Newsletter #3134 entittled entitled "When is a Vampire NOT a Vampire" where I reflect upon the new strain of popular vampire novels that have lost that Bram Stoker biting edge.
Yes well, first of all, I don't read the Horror/Scary Newsletter because it's too scary! And second of all, was your newsletter funny?
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, Robert Waltz and Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON!  Sophurky
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Comedy: October 07, 2009 Issue [#3313]
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