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Comedy: September 07, 2005 Issue [#603]

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Comedy


 This week:
  Edited by: The Milkman Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

When writing your next comedy story, poem, essay or eulogy, keep in mind these quotes that I found in the "Toastmaster's Treasure Chest"...

A man shows his character by what he laughs at --- German Proverb

I think Comedy writing is also a good indicator of what kind of person you are. So please take into consideration who it is you are laughing at.

Laughter: The sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot --- Josh Billings

You know he is right and the one spot to have it shown is right here in the Writing.Com Comedy Newsletter.

We like to hear people laugh, but not when we're chasing our hat down the street --- Author not listed

So write about chasing your Stories.Com baseball hat down the street and hopefully your reviewer won't say they laughed at you.

A pun is the lowest form of humor ~~~ when you don't think of it first --- Oscar Levant

My advice to beating your friends to the punnies, especially on Scroll... learn to type.

Lastly, and this tidbit will need no motherly advice from me...

No young man ever expects to grow up and be as dumb as his father --- Author not listed.

~!~ ~!~ ~!~ ~!~ ~!~ ~!~ ~!~


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Letter from the editor

Traits


As writers there is a little known molecule in our DNA (ask a doctor, biologist or anyone but me what that acronym stands for) that allows us to stalk people without raising a single suspicion. Sitting at a bus station, airport or the local McDonald’s Playland gives us hours of satisfaction as long as you can muster the smell of salty fries, unwashed adults and the medicinal smells of the elderly.

You fill up raised letter dinner napkins with character traits and meaningless stanzas to poems that you hope to add to your latest story, while nursing a sweaty glass of a watered down beverage and suffering from indigestion. You’ve sat in those plastic contoured chairs long enough that your butt is tattooed with the same pattern of the seat. Your knees are permanently bent and your feet are asleep when in walks the perfect character trait. If you are lucky, you don’t see whole people with your eyes, but only the way they’ll enhance your heroine in your romantic action adventure historical mystery comedy.

Once again I will start a paragraph with these words… As writers we need to find those descriptive words that will set apart these distinguishing features… In a book I borrowed from the local library called “Building Believable Character” by Marc McCutcheon there is a thesaurus for just about everything character driven… from facial features to bad habits… for instance say your character had Miscellaneous Eye Variations… you could use anyone of these terms. I’ll even give you the descriptions from the book.

bloodshot: red and irritated.
cataract: a clouding of the lens.
glass eye a false eye of any color.
helerochroma iridis: the condition of having one brown eye and one blue eye. It occurs in approximately 1 in every 1,000 people.
nystagmus: a disorder in which one or both eyes jerk or move involuntarily, caused by brain lesions, inflammation, alcohol or drug abuse; sometimes present congenitally.
variegated: flecked with various colors.
walleyed: having a whitish or grayish eye or eyes.
yellowed scleras: yellowed whites of the eyes, sometimes seen in older people.

In some of these eye variations the descriptions of what they are speaks volumes to me as to what kind of character you can add them to… for an example, the protagonist in “The Last Action Hero” who had several different glass eyes. An old girlfriend of mine has variegated hazel eyes flecked with gold sparkles. For the really unique character you could add one or more of these characteristics to your character.

So I suggest, you do what I’ve been doing as of late… rereading some of your more favorable characters and see if you can really make them jump off the page and do a little dance off of the page onto your editor’s desk.



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Editor's Picks

Red is
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#678702 by Not Available.

The comparison's are right on the ... scratchpost.

Orange is
 The Leash Expedition Open in new Window. (13+)
Inspired by a conversation with my nephew. Imagined experience at pet store.
#1008174 by ncblondie Author IconMail Icon

A groundhog can be a memorable character.

Yellow is
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#891020 by Not Available.

This poem is definitely about cats.

Green is
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1006056 by Not Available.

A cereal box has character.

Blue is
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#884853 by Not Available.

A story about two "cat" burglars.

Indigo is
 Why Chickens Are Great. Open in new Window. (E)
Ever considered the fact that you don't give chickens a lot of respect. Read on!
#1005140 by mystery Author IconMail Icon

Can chickens really have character?

Violet is
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#431610 by Not Available.

Rules for your pet.

 
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Ask & Answer

Some lovely comments left by my stalkers, er uhmmm fans...





Until next month this is The Milkman Author IconMail IconLogo for Senior Moderators - small saying, "Good laughs make good friends".

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