"Based on my research and the research of other shame researchers, I believe that there is a profound difference between shame and guilt. I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful--it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort.
         "I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging--something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.
         "I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous."