  Spiritual
This week: Rest in peace -- you are remembered Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI back on Jan 4  
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Writing Dot Com is an online home. We have friends here, and family. And when we lose a member, we feel grief.
So how do we cope? Here are various viewpoints. |
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Dear Readers,
I first met SHERRI GIBSON  on my very first day on Writing Dot Com. Hers was the second review I ever received, on this site. She was so friendly, I turned to her every time I had a question, after that. Notably, we exchanged six emails about how to 'bitem' -- I was entering a contest and anxious to get it right the first time. Nothing changed when I became a Mod, a year-and-a-half later. I got a lovely 'congratulations' note from her, and I pestered her with questions about my new tasks. When she was ill, I worried. When she passed away, I grieved. I grieved about my other friends on site, too, when I received news of their passing.
In an internet world, our online friends and family mean a lot to us. We relate to them, sometimes, as much as we relate to people we meet in real life. We share their ups and downs and know their characteristics and quirks. And when they leave, we feel a void.
In "Honouring those who have passed away" , various Writing Dot Com members share their feelings about those they have lost. In it, Pat ~ Rejoice always!  says "Besides the expected grief, I feel frustrated at not being able to contact their loved ones and let them know how much their lives impacted this community. " ~Minja~  talks about interacting with and missing Jen~ , Elisa: Snowman Stik  actually met Love is a Mommy (no foolin) face to face and shares her views about the passing of Love is a Mommy (no foolin) . Dee remembers Old Warrior; Max Griffin 🏳️🌈  tells us about Carol McKenzie  , audra_branson talks about hbar and Sum1's Home!  misses Yellow Rose . This brings back memories of Yellow Roses heading the 'most credited reviewers' list month after month for me.
Prosperous Snow celebrating  has created "United in Our Grief" . Scifiwizard Retired runs "United in our Grief Forum." .
And I present below an interview with iKïyå§ama  about "White Case Memorial"
1. How did you think of starting up "White Case Memorial" ?
The forum was actually created by a previous member of the community who went by the name of Stomper. Inspiration for this came when he noticed a dedication to a deceased member VerySara in a forum post. (She passed away on 9/11 – a victim of the Twin Towers attacks). Unfortunately, Stomper is no longer a member of the site, but I was honored when the decision was made keep the forum under "The WDC Angel Army" ’s care.
2. What is the significance of such a forum, in an online community?
The online community is ‘fast-paced’, and by that I mean you come in contact with so many different people – sometimes over the course of a single day – and names/people can sometimes get lost in the shuffle. Though Writing.com prides itself in being a close-knit community, as evidenced by many of the friendships formed over the years, it’s also true that some members tend to fade; whether it’s moving on to other things not writing-related or passing away. Unfortunately, with these members who ‘disappear’, portfolios are usually left unattended (so to speak), and their writings are eventually removed as per site rules. When this happens, we tend to miss out on some wonderful tales once shared for our reading pleasure. Fortunately, we’re lucky that The StoryMaster  has allowed an opportunity for those writings to remain long after they are no longer with us in the physical world. Creating the “White Case” is a great way to honor the legacies of our fel
low writers, and I have no doubt it’s something those writers would have wanted to know; that they are not forgotten by their peers.
3. What has (have) been the most enriching aspect(s) of running this forum?
Getting to see and share in the memories and camaraderie of fellow writers. It’s always heartwarming to read the brief ‘eulogies/tributes’ written by current members who knew those writers either personally or just in passing. That sense of community and family is really showcased when that happens. It’s also a great way for members – who might never have gotten an opportunity to know these people – to learn more about them by visiting their portfolios. It gives one an insight into who they were and what contributions they made to the writing community. A lot can definitely be learned that way.
4. What has(have) been the most difficult aspect(s) of running this forum?
Updating the forum with a new addition to the list.  It’s never easy having to hear that someone else has been taken away especially when you know them quite well and have seen how much of a positive influence they were around Writing.com. It’s like a kick in the gut, and it’s a constant reminder of your mortality, and how important it is to cherish those you really care about.
5. Some of the 'white cases' don't actually have 'white cases' against their handles. Why is this?
To earn a “White Case”, a family member has to mail an authentic death certificate to The StoryMaster . This allows the website to preserve their works without having to upgrade constantly. Why is this important? For a couple of reasons; one, a writer might not want his or her works to remain online, so the site does not have the right to keep them longer than their membership runs out. Two, at the request of the writer’s family, they might not want to keep the items online either, and choose not to send in any documentation, so their wishes have to be respected. So for those who are still “Black Cases”, though it’s definitive that they have passed away (I’ve received emails from family members who claim so), if they do not provide the information to the SM, then he cannot do anything about it.
6. Anything else you'd like to add.
No one wants to be listed in such a forum, but it is still nice to know that you’re remembered long after you’re gone. Over the years, members have encouraged each other to share addresses or phone numbers to keep in touch with one another; so in the case of a friend/loved one passing away, the information is known to the community as soon as possible. If you have a family who is aware of your writing portfolio, you can also let them know the site’s policies (sending in a certificate etc. etc) so your work is preserved.
And last but not least, I’d encourage members to visit the forum as often as they can. Stop in once in a while and say ‘hello’ to these now silenced pens whose words continue to resonate long after the ink has dried on the pages.
Thank you for the opportunity to share my thoughts on this wonderful forum. I truly appreciate it!
Thanks for listening!
Sonali
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Thank you for the responses to "Spiritual Newsletter (March 29, 2017)"
StaiNe 
Thanks for the newsletter I know with my experiences I rather no one say nothing as I feel no can understand or relate mine to a rather less experience from my opinion,
Joy 
Thanks for an excellent NL,  Sonali. "Never belittle or accuse someone going through something" is so right.
Quick-Quill 
Sometimes a hug is worth a thousand words. I know I'd rather have a hug than platitudes.
spidey 
Excellent newsletter! After my Mom died, I found myself angered by a lot of people's words, but I understood that they meant well. I ended up distancing myself from those people for a little while, until I could deal with my own feelings. Thanks for sharing. 
Mary Ann MCPhedran 
Hi Sonali, I do agree with you on your item feelings, and what do you say to a friend who is going through the worry of a loved one who is ill? My feeling for you won't make you feel any better so I tend to listen and try to be there for the person who is going through the worry. Sometimes just being by
ftirnd and listening to their worry helps. A good write and well written topic for the newsletter |
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Spiritual: June 21, 2017 Issue [#8346]
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