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Rated: E · Fiction · Fantasy · #1009633
Just a story I started. Would like some constructive feedback Please.
I look through the tunnel ahead of me. This tunnel is where the time window is. I'm sure of it. After years and years of searching I believe I may have finally found it. I hold my torch as far into the tunnel as I can without entering, trying to see if there is anything special or different. I feel something but, I've felt sure before. I better go in before the doubt wins. I will only have to come back later. Once my doubt is in check.
"Whatcha waiting on?" A quiet voice behind me asks.
"Nothing. Just checking for rats and vermin." I turn and look at the young man behind me.
"That's never stopped you before." He says as he tries to push around me into the opening.
"And its not stopping me now. I just feel we should be cautious. For some reason it seems more important than usual."
"You always say that. Are you going in or do you want me to go first?" He stopped trying to get around me and stood with his hands on his hips looking at me.
"You will not go first. This is my search not yours. You just came along for the ride." I tell him and walk into the tunnel much faster than I had originally wanted to. I quickly slow my pace on the forth step in. "You may want to bring a torch with you mine doesn't seem to be shining very far." I holler back to Josh. A few seconds later I hear him coming up behind me.
"So how far do you wanna go through this tunnel before we call it quits for tonight?" Josh asks.
"Not sure. Do you remember what those symbols I showed you look like?"
"The ones that were on the map? Yeah, I think So. Why?"
"Well I'm not sure if there are identical writings on the walls of this tunnel or if I'm seeing things." I stop and shine my torch closer to the wall. Josh does the same.
"I think your right. These do look like the same symbols. If we're both right then we are almost to the door of time."
Could this be the end of my search? Have we really found the window Dr Hantra wrote about so long ago? This door that allows you to walk through it from your time to any other time you can think of.
"I've memorized the map I've looked at it so many times before. If this is truly the correct tunnel then all we do is follow these until the symbols start to change, as soon as they change we need to turn left."
"Lets get going then. I can't wait to see this doorway to the future and past." Josh says as he nudges me forward.
I walk slowly keeping close watch on the symbols ten steps forward and the symbols change. I quickly turn left I am now facing the side of the tunnel. Josh is so close I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. He whispers. "dead end"
I don't answer him. I look forward for a second and then I close my eyes and walk toward the wall, expecting to walk into something solid. I brace myself on the second step forward but, I don't hit the wall. I am now in another hallway. I stop and turn to wait for Josh. A second later he is right in front of me.
"That was different." he says then he makes a strange face. I turn to see what he's looking at and notice that we are now in another tunnel. But this one is much shorter than the previous one. A couple of steps in and we'll have to crouch to walk. "I think this tunnel would be easier if we were a little shorter."
"We need to follow this tunnel to the end. There should be a cavern at the end." I start to walk into the next tunnel. But, where it had looked like we were going to need to crouch the roof was not as short as it had looked. "The shortness seems to be an illusion. I can stand upright here. It looked like we were going to have to crouch but the ground seems deeper I seem to have stepped down a step over there."
I look back and see that Josh hasn't moved from the previous spot. He was actually stairing right at me and looking very confused. "Josh aren't you coming?"
"Paul where are you? I can't see you anymore.
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