The Wake

The people in Georgie’s life solemnly filed in ready to pay their last respects to a good friend, killed in a freak car accident. His picture, in a gold plated frame sat on a table covered with a red cloth, Georgie’s favourite colour. It showed him with a smile on his face, the kind people most often called an ear to ear grin. That was something he was seldom seen without, and perhaps that’s why he was so popular.

In the picture, he wore a fishing cap with several lures sticking out the top and sides. His face was unshaven, and his eyes sparkled with the life he always tried to live to the fullest. He had a full head of wavy red hair, and white teeth that sparkled in the sunshine.

“He was much younger then.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, look. He was bald when he died.”

“No he wasn’t. He lost a bet on a hockey game and shaved it all off just last week.”

“Figures. He always did lose at things like that.”

“Yeah, but he was always first in line to give it a try.”

“I wonder what he was thinking when the photo was taken. I mean he has an amazing expression on his face, like total contentment.”

“Knowing Georgie, it was women and booze.”

“Yeah, he did like to have a good time.”

She picked up the picture in her left hand, and studied it intently. “I wonder where it was taken?”

“That’s easy. A bunch of us went on a camping trip last year. He’d just caught a huge bass. It took almost a full hour to land it. It jumped out of the water so many times we lost count, but Georgie played it like a pro. You should have seen him. I could never have done that. The picture was taken right after.”

“It looks like he just got laid or something.”


“A fish like that is the next best thing.”

“Look. Some more people have arrived. Do you know them?”

“I think that’s his brother.”

“Who’s the weird looking guy?”

“That’s not a guy. That’s his sister in law?”

“Look at the size of her. We better make sure we get in line in front of her.”

“Don’t worry, she’s strictly a vegetarian."

“Excuse me, please.” They were interrupted by a tall heavy set man entering the room pushing a wheeled table. On top of the table there was a gold chalice.

“He looks like death himself. Maybe we should become friends with his family. We could get to go to his wake too. I love Wakes, the buffet is always to die for.”

The man opened the chalice, pulled out a DVD and inserted it into a machine. Within seconds, Georgie’s image, appeared in the centre of the room. It was a holograph, previously recorded in a private chamber.

“Hello, everyone. I’m glad you could make it. I guess if I’m here and you are all there I’m probably dead as a doornail. Hope I went with my boots on. Rhonda, if you’re out there, I sure hope it was you. What a fine little filly, eh guys? If I wasn’t dead I bet my heart would be pounding right now.

Okay, let’s be serious for a bit now. I always enjoyed a good wake. They bring people together, and for some reason I always thought they were more fun than weddings. I mean think of it. Weddings and Wakes, not as far apart as you might think.

In Weddings, the second string can’t look as good as the bride. Still, all the married guys can’t help thinking about ripping those ugly dresses off them, if you know what I mean. Don’t be offended people, I’m dead remember. The dead always get a little leeway.

Anyway, in Wakes, everybody looks good. Well, maybe with the exception of the dead guy. Plus, fun is the name of the game. Okay, everyone dig in. Enjoy my last meal, and good health to you all. Remember, folks. It’s all on me.”

In the line up, there was the usual chatter. Everyone was telling their favourite stories of Georgie. That’s what you did at wakes. It was a celebration of the person’s life, not just the sorrow of their passing. It meant continuity, like having a little piece of them inside of you.

“What are you having?”

“I’ve always been partial to liver pate myself.”

“Not me. My favourite has got to be the kidney pie.”

“Really. I’ve always been partial to the genitals.”

“Keep in mind that Georgie got around a lot.”

“He drank a lot, too.”

“So right you are. Maybe, I’ll stick to the thigh. He was in pretty good shape.”

“Lots of meat there. You must try the spleen, though. I had one last week. Incredible.”

“Really. I always heard it was too sweet.”

“No, that’s the pancreas.”