Dear "mouse" contest entry

Dear Mouse,

You have no idea how much like you I am. Be relieved in at least the one fact that you are not alone in your struggles! I have struggled for a few years with similar problems and I think one of the greatest consolations is knowing that you're not a "weirdo" or "loser". (Strength in numbers!)

I believe that a lot of people have trouble assimilating to adult life when they get in their mid-20s. Once college is over and we're thrust into the real world, things change. The innocence and dreaminess wears off; it doesn't seem quite what we thought it would be. But this in and of itself is only the catalyst for future personal turmoil.

Here is what you say your problems are:

~ You feel there's something missing in your life.

~ You have a low level of self-worth.

~ You have problems in social situations.

Psychologically speaking, your problems sound like depression and social anxiety. The solutions for these two problems are not simple. My first suggestion to you is to see a psychologist.

Many people are put-off by "shrinks" because they are afraid of the stigma attached to seeing one. My view on the matter is this: if you have the flu, you go to a doctor to get better, right? I think that people should consider mental health problems no differently than physical ones.

Also, if you're afraid to go because you think this means you are crazy, (which I must admit, I've thought about myself) then consider this: speaking to a non-biased, non-judgmental person about any problem you want is a very liberating experience. Everytime I see my psychologist I feel awesome whether or not I've actually been able to "fix" my problem in the session.

Many people see a clinical doctor about depression and other mental issues. While I think this is a step in the right direction, a family doctor is not specialized in what you need. They are able to prescribe medication, which can definitely help, but this is only a surface-level answer to an imbedded problem. I think that a good combination of therapy and medication is key in the beginning of your recovery. (This is why I advise you see a psychologist/psychiatrist instead of a counselor or therapist.)

There are also some things that are small and non-commital that might help you on a day-to-day basis. Think about your living environment and how it affects you. Making your home brighter, cleaner, and "homier" can really help your self- confidence. If you have dark walls, try painting them a lighter color; if you have bare walls decorate them with family pictures and paintings; and most importantly, keeping your home clean (not prestine) helps you on two levels: the cleaning itself makes you feel like you accomplished something and when your home is clean you just feel better (as opposed to a dirty/cluttered home).

Also, try making good or better habits. Eating better and exercising are excellent steps to fighting off depression.

Lastly, the most important thing for me is taking the time to evaluate myself and realize that I have a lot of great qualities. Realize that you ARE unique and uniquity is beautiful. Think about some of the things about yourself that you hate and realize that others actually like those things, and if they don't several of them share those with you!

In my personal experience, fighting my demons has been difficult and I'm sure that the fight will never really be over. But on the positive side of the token, it's always a learning experience. You'll never be exactly what you want yourself to be, but remember this above all other things that I've said: The only opinion about yourself that matters is your own. If you were to meet a person like you on the street, would you like them? I'll bet you would.