Choices

I'm sitting here is silence
No sound for me to hear
Listening to the quiet
The nothingness I hold so
dear

Time is slowly fleeting
The seconds ticking by
Slowly pass the hours
Counting down the day I die

I look into the future
And only see regret
I look into the past
And see the things I cant forget

I gaze about me now
And see it all combined
Past and future come together
My pain is redefined

I shy away from laughter
And the world I used to know
No one even sees me missing
Or sees the tears begin to flow

Undaunted, they roll in crimson streams
Echoing my pain
Down my cheeks and from my wrists
Who will take the blame

For my demise, my suicide
My absense from this place
The fault is mine, I cant deny
Shadows etched upon my face

The wind begins to blow
And with it comes my bane
Drudging up the memories
Reliving all the shame

Two paths are set before me
Now I must decide
Which one that I shall follow
Will the itchyness subside?

Will I ever be content
With the brand-new me?
I was happy the way I was before
It was just so damn easy

Yes, I know, I shouldnt think this
But, guess what? I am
In some sick way, I want to go back
It was easier being damned

My skin, it yearns to be so numb
And my brain, the hazy thoughts
Old life of pain it calls to me
And no longer shall be fought....