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Rated: E · Novel · Fantasy · #1041398
This is my third attempt in revising chapter one. is my main character likable?
As the night began to draw in at Kasty Kemp Guest house, its white marbled roof reflected the stars that twinkled towards the moon. Many birds, owls and odd looking seagulls dressed in black, started to fly away from the moon and head toward Kasty Kemp. For many locales that lived in the village would think that the birds were warning them about the villages ghost where as others thought that there was going to be wind and rain. But no one had ever thought that witches from other nations were coming to gather for a special occasion. This would be to celebrate their new leader.

An hour had passed and Jezzabell the young witch was sitting on the green stool next to the large yellow, wooden dresser. Jezzabell stared into the mirror and looked at her round face. It's cheekbones were covered in white powder to add colour into her pales white face and her purple lipstick that lay smudged across the rim of her mouth made her wipe the excess with a wet piece of paper. Her long blue dress was covered with Kasty Kemps red T-Shirt and her feet slid into black-laced shoes to help her feet go flat. As she brushed her hair, Jezzabell could hear voices. The bed had not been made. "Oh, the guest. I will have to use my spell,” she whispered. Jezzabell slowly picked the tiny black wand from her white jacket, which had fallen, onto the floor and she waved it over the pillows. "Go, Green, yellow and Green. Make the bed for the guest,” she spoke. The pillowcases unfolded themselves from the clean corner and glided onto the three pillows. Still Jezzabell needed to find a clean sheet so she ran over to the huge, dark black and fat wardrobe, opening it; everything fell onto her feet. The old towels, green toothbrushes and three bed sheets hung over her arched feet. "Make the bed for me"; she sighed pointing her wand down. Her feet began to move away from the wardrobe. "Go and make the bed,” she yawned and nothing happened. Jezzabell dropped the wand onto the floor, picked the three large bed sheets and carried them over to the bed. She lifted them into the air and suddenly they fell over her making her fall onto the wooden floor. "Argh", She screeched.

"Jezzabell! We told you not to use the bed-making spell. It doesn't work,” her mama said pulling the sheets off her. Her mama stood tall, slim and elegant in the manageress uniform. Her dark brown eyebrows matched the sheets that were now lying on top of her daughter. Jezzabell stood up and smiled.
"I am sorry. I can't make them. The wardrobe dropped everything onto the floor. "Can I go down to greet the visitors?" she asked wanting to find out who had arrived.
"No, you can help me make the bed,” her mama ordered. She picked the top end of the mattress and gently lifted the sheet onto the bed.
"Mama, Why are we having a meeting?” she curiously asked. Her mum quickly threw the large green quilt over making the airbrush up the dust.
"We need a new leader. The old one died about three months ago. Your papas' brother is taking over. His mate chose him to cover for him and now Uncle Krome will be our leader," her mama replied. Jezzabell jumped away from the bed.
"He isn't papas' brother. He is a colleague of Uncle Krome,” Jezzabell protested. She watched her mama open the door to the bathroom and toilet.
"Krome is your uncle and he has been kind to us. Jezzabell, I hope that you will behave or else,"
"Or else I will have to stay at school," Jezzabell muttered making her mama slam the bathroom door.
"We will help him out. He has a long journey ahead of him. He needs to learn the basic rules of leadership,” she said and briskly walked out of the room leaving Jezzabell to shrug her shoulders. She began to look at the green stars that had fallen into the room and many of them began to land on to the far wall. She slumped down on the ready-made bed and she started to remember the events.

Early morning had brought out the sun in the peaceful room. Its contents were simple and bare, the small crystal globe that hung from the ceiling made everyone feel calm. The landscape portraits showing the calm sea and happy moon filled the walls with sunshine and the soft bubbly chairs looked comfortable to sleep in. Krome had a lovely room where stressful witches could sit and relax or even paint their moods into the globe. It took all of the fears away from them.

She can remember walking out of the nursery and putting her black thin coat on to go home and she could hear bumps and odd rumbles of thunder. She had to know what was happening, there were no signs of a storm and the windows still painted the bright blue sky. As she crept down into the room, she ran behind the clear white bubble that stretched across the room. Clearly she could see her uncle in the centre arguing with one of his nasty colleagues.
"Give me the wage Krome!" the colleague in the green cloak yelled. His cloak had patterned stars and moons but his long dirty beard that lay amongst his blue shoulders glistened at the sun that appeared to be shining through the window. All of the half shaped stars that were running down the cloak looked cross and very angry where as Krome had only a few happy white faces trailing down toward the bottom of his new woollen cardigan and his flat white feet had been covered with green bubbles.
"I will not give you the wage, I paid you last week," Krome sighed. It looked like he was trying to calm the peaceful room.
"You need to give me the wage. We are good friends, you gave me more money last week and why are you refusing to give some this time?" he screamed. The painting on the walls began to crack, the dust flew around the enclosed windows and the earth began to shake.
"Go away from the room, you are upsetting it,"Krome ordered the colleague to go. Suddenly he fell to the ground and a huge cage appeared. It was as tall as the ceiling and the crystal globe swung clockwise toward her.
"Stand in here and I will leave,” he replied. Krome did not say anything, this worried Jezzabell. She looked deep into the globe and saw the consequences.
"Don't go into the cage,” She shouted bursting the white bubble with her fingers. Krome ignored her and stepped into the cage. "Get out, its a trap," she cried. The hatch fell down making the cage look complete. Krome turned round, he looked sad. The man in the green cloak slowly ran after her.
"Leave my niece alone. Take me; she snapped reaching out to claw his hand I am your slave. Leave her along Glarndyle,” Krome demanded. The eyes in the human portraits began to move and the scary man whose cloak was shining green pulled out a small orange. His eyes began to dart around her making her more anxious to help her uncle.
"Run, Run he will turn us all into birds,” Rome warned her. She stepped away from the cage and slowly walked backwards until the painting fell onto her pointy shoes. Turning round she ran as fast as she could, her racing heart made her step into the hallway and slam the door, "No Key,” she whispered to herself.
"Lock," she could hear Krome shouting. The door began to lock and she could hear the pigeons calling him. "Lock the room of evil,” she screeched and the hallway began to grown black with green moss.
"No!" she cried ruining away from the mansion.

"Jezzabell, Jezzabell. It is time for bed,” Cried papa. She broke away from the events and walked near the white clock that stood on the green dresser. She soon realised that the clock had stopped and she had better wind it up ready for the next lot of guest. It was obvious that someone wearing green was going to stay but who wore green.
"Hello, Jezzabell.It is uncle Krome, Jezzabell's back twitched with fear. I hope you are better. I do not want to send you to Aunt Chemichalas,”she sarcastically said in a quiet voice. He stood in front of her and his falling stars twinkled at the wardrobe.
"Why have you cut that long beard? It suits you uncle Krome," she stuttered. His envy eyes dotted around the room wanting to know if anyone could be seen and his short grey hair started to curl inwards making his eyes look like they were going to pop out.
"Your uncle did not have a beard and if you tell them about me I will personally take you to Aunt Chemichalas,”she threatened her. Feeling nervous Jezzabell felt like crying but she learnt not to cry in front of men, for she was strong, bright and helpful. She would never lower herself.
"Jezzabell," she could hear her papa.
"Papa uncle Krome is here,” she whined running down the stairs.
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