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Rated: E · Prose · Comedy · #1044807
A very kind review inspired me to try getting as contrary as possible, just for laughs.
It really didn't shake me up, so I don't have to get this down before I remember it.
I wasn't working on anybody else's house and I didn't have an accident.
I didn't tell anybody else what didn't happen, and nobody else was there to help.
I didn't scream quietly for anybody else's help as loud as I couldn't, and nobody else heard me, so nobody else called 911 or anybody else as well.
I don't know why anybody else didn't come to help me, nobody else called anybody else repeatedly, redundantly, several times at all.
Nobody else lives near anybody else, and I wasn't any where near anybody else where I wasn't and nobody else called an ambulace or anybody else, which promptly never showed up.
The ambulance didn't use it's lights and siren and it didn't careen sedately through the gridlocked traffic on the deserted streets.
I didn't arrive at the hospital, and a nurse didn't hold my hand and tell me it wasn't going to be all right.
I wasn't rushed into surgery and no doctors shook their heads and did not say that I wasn't in immediate safety of not being a very, very sick man.
They didn't put me under, and I don't recall what didn't happen before I didn't awaken in the recovery room after I didn't die twice during the surgery no doctors performed on me for several hours that dragged on and on, briefly.
I didn't need physical therapy for a very long time very shortly afterwards, and I wasn't encouraged many, many times to quit.
I am not beautifully disfigured, I don't have a painless limp and I'm not insignificantly untraumatized for the rest of my life.



The charges read as follows:

Premeditated Murder of grammer...
Premeditated Murder of syntax...
Attempted Murder of the english language...

Defendant statement:
I am American Poet 007, with poetic license to kill. This poem can't hurt anybody else, nobody else's life can be deeply and profoundly affected in a very shallow, meaningless way. Therefor, if somebody else is apathetically interested in convicting me of a crime, I must ask the rest of the jury, the people on behalf of the family of...

everybody else!




What say you, guilty or not guilty, and if guilty, what punishment? LOL. Be well.
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