A Letter to My BabyCat

My dear little BabyCat,

As I look at your picture hanging on my wall, I remember. I remember your great green eyes, and your short fluff of a tail, and your pink nose pad. I remember the way your paws held my hand, and the softness of your fur. I remember the sweet smell of you, and the way you always nipped my hand with tiny BabyCat bites. I remember so many things, and so you live on, and I stop to ask myself why do I love you?

Dear, sweet little BabyCat, I love you simply because you are. Who can say why we love one being more than another? I had raised over 50 cats before you came into my life, but the moment I saw you it was magic. What could a four-week-old kitten have had that none of the others had? We can philosophize that we pick our friends and loved ones because of some special quality. Faithfulness, loyalty, sincerity. But in the initial picking love is truly blind. We love that being, whether two-footed or four, without rhyme or reason. You walked into my life and I fell in love.

You came into my life unexpectedly one day in May 1987. I was at work that day, on the beautiful 32-acre compound that sat on the beach, near the rocks where a colony of feral cats lived.

I was working in the lab, and needed some paint thinner, as we were out of MEK, so I walked out to the paint locker where John the Painter worked, and there you were.

Oh, you were a tiny little thing, just a ball of fur and fleas, with a little ruff of a tail. I took one look at you, and it was love at first sight. Your "daddy" John said, "Oh, she has just been hanging around for a couple of days, and I think her mom has abandoned her. Would you like her? " Well, I picked you up and put you in my lab coat pocket and walked back to the lab. There I weighed you. You weighed 450 grams, just less than a pound. Then I went to find you some food in the lunchroom.

I had never seen a cat like you with just a short curl of a tail, and I didn't know then that you were a breed called a Japanese Bobtail. I thought maybe you had lost your tail in an accident. But you were only four weeks old, and you seemed fine.

Next I sat down, my work forgotten, and thought of a name for you. You still had your baby blue eyes, so I named you Noelani, which means mists of heaven, and Misty. Noelani Misty Milliken. Yes. I liked that.

That night I took you home and introduced you to my family, and to my other two cats, seventeen-year-old Ariadne Precious and five-year-old Anemone Dawn. Much to my surprise Queen Ari liked you immediately. That was a good sign, as she had only tolerated other cats in her long life. But she took you under her paw, and taught you all you needed to know in order to rule the house. And rule you did from the moment you walked into my heart.

My grandmother took one look at you, tiny little thing in the palm of my hand, and said, "Why she is just a baby cat," and that is the name which stuck. You became Noelani Misty BabyCat Milliken, or just BabyCat to all of your friends and relatives.

My sweet Ariadne crossed the Rainbow Bridge six months after you came to live with me, but by then you were an expert in affairs of the heart, especially my heart. You literally had me wrapped around your cute little paw.

In the years that followed what adventures we had. You traveled with me, attending conferences and spending nights in hotel rooms. I laugh as I think about them. Do you remember the conference at the church in Lompoc? What fun? I held you on my shoulder and you stared at the people behind you with your great green eyes. They were captivated.

And remember the time we went to the condo for a mini-vacation? No pets allowed. Ha! You hid under the stairwell and cried all night. Silly one, I was right there the whole time.

And every year on your birthday, April 14th, I took you to work with me to see your "daddy" John. He loved you so much. Sadly, he too crossed the Rainbow Bridge way too soon. He had cancer.

I tried so hard to protect you and take care of you. I remember how I went around the house throwing away all the paper clips and rubber bands, for fear you might accidentally eat one. I thought I had done a great job. There wasn't one in sight anywhere. Oh, I have to laugh when I think of it. We found your stash carefully hoarded in the back of Grandmother's closet one day. At least a dozen of each, along with assorted ribbons, strings and other things which you knew you shouldn't have. You funny, funny little BabyCat.

Twist ties were your favorite toy, and you could have those. But being the persnickety little kitling that you were, you had to have a new one each night. You knew exactly where they were in the kitchen in a drawer. And after dinner you would stand by the door and mew and look at me with those big green eyes of yours as if to say, "Well, where is it?" How could I deny you? I would open the drawer, get out a brand new twist tie, twist it into a circle and toss it on the floor. After batting it around for awhile you would pick it up in your mouth, and off you would go.

Much to my sorrow, you were a sickly kitty with a severe respiratory problem. I will never forget the night when you were 3 1/2 that you almost stopped breathing. I almost stopped breathing too, as my sister raced with us to the Pet Emergency Clinic some 25 miles away. Well, the medications they gave you got you through the night, and the next day I found a new and wonderful vet. You recovered from that bout of illness and went on to become famous on the Internet.

You joined a club called CLAW, and there you grew to be loved in the minds and hearts of all that met you. You became a famous authoress, writing stories and poems to delight all catdom. You became a great humanitarian, jumping in with all four paws to help any kitty that needed a helping paw. You worked hard to earn your doctorate at CLAW University, and by aiding others you attained the rank of Princess. I was so proud of you.

You even started your own little Cat Club, Catuary, A Sanctuary for Cats on the Net. A lofty name for a lovely place. It was your beautiful little kingdom, and there you ruled with your handsome Prince Buddee. There you held the first Hugs and Purrs Festival, and the first Midnight Moonlight Ball. What fun you had with your friends.

And being the humanitarian kitty that you were, you also started the Catuary Emergency Fund. Over the years it has helped so many cats and friends in need. Sometimes there is money in the fund, sometimes there isn't. But even now you still find a way to help those needful cats.

But through it all, you were always and only just "my BabyCat", the cat of my heart. You slept each night with your head in my hand and your paws wrapped around my hand, holding on, holding on for dear life. And I would have done anything to have given you more life.

But on July 25th, 2000 you crossed the Rainbow Bridge too. You died in my arms, and my sorrow and my screams filled the Universe. My beloved BabyCat, you were gone. How short, how very short your life was, just 13 1/2 years, when all the time in the Universe was not enough for me to love you as much as I wanted to.

I miss you so much, but your memory will live on. You were and are my constant inspiration.

I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I love you, and how much I miss you.

With much love, your Mommy Nathalie