Holding It Together

Here I am inside my reality
I expose it to you, will you to understand, but
Can never know what part reaches you
I seem to feel your probing observance
But what you see is only the reflection of
What you happen to look for in me

So sometimes I feel alone in a crowd
Surrounded but abandoned, the same but different
An invisible shield encircling me
Defining the universe that is me
I am the sun in my own solar system

And pieces of me have been sent out
Some released freely and willingly
Some violently torn from my grasp
Dispatched to spin and orbit around me
To touch and affect those people near me
To pull them close with my gravity

But orbitals become unstable
My moons threaten to crash and implode
My planets start to drift away
The energy it takes, the constant vigilance in all directions
Keeps me spinning and grasping

And yet you look at me and say
Yes, she is
Holding
it
together