Double Standards

I have a question for all the people out there.

Why the hell does everyone around me feel the need to put me down any chance they get?

I consider myself a nice person. Id rather shower someone with compliments instead of insulting them.

I am a good looking guy, I work out five days a week and it shows. However, I am NOT arrogant. I dont stare at myself in the mirror; i do it because I enjoy it. It's a hobby.

The reason I came out and said this about myself is that I feel like the way I look has changed the way people treat me.

Especially males. Roommates, co-workers, even people that I have been friends with for years all treat me in a way that is negative.

Females dont do this, they compliment me and say nice things to me and I do the same thing for them. Females are the reason that feel like I am good looking, it's not because I feel that way about myself. It's because among all the insults there are compliments sprinkled in here and there.

My roommate just recently moved out of town. He is my best friend but he is most guilty of the negative treatment I receive.

It's always, 'that shirt is so gay,' or 'the music you listen to is so gay'.

When he says stuff like this it doesnt really bother me, because I know the shirt I am wearing looks damn good on me and the music I listen to is just the opposite of what he likes.

I am left to wonder why these statements are made. I dont care what he listens to, and I honestly I could care less about the clothes that he wears. I dont even look. If I felt like something he was wearing was bad looking, I wouldnt say anything.

I recently bought a new shirt. A sky blue button up long-sleeve shirt. I spend alot of time in the sun so I feel like the the shirt sets of the skin my skin tone pretty nicely.

The first time I wore this shirt out he kept saying, 'nice blouse Adam'.

I knew deep down he was kidding around; but why does it always have to be an insult about the way I look or what I am wearing?

I get the feeling that I am under a microscope all the time. He is every judgemental.

Personally I think he worries about me being full of myself. So he feels the need to put me down whenever he can. I lived with hime for six months, and I can remember one compliment he gave me. He told me my haircut looked pretty good. Funny thing is my other roommate made up for it and told me it looked awful.

My problem is, I have never acted arrogant. I have never been full of myself the whole time we have known each other. I am more confident; but not arrogant.

I think he is jealous of the way I look and it shows in his behavior. But he would never admit that.

I may sound soft. I understand that. The point is that I have pretty thick skin. I can laugh things off with the best of them. It has just gotten to a point where I might blow up on someone if they say the wrong thing to me.

I cant laugh off all these insults anymore. Im sick of them.

There are more instances where things like this occur.

I have a friend in my hometown who said the following things to me.

Once when wearing a new shirt he said 'the shirts just keep getting smaller and smaller'. An obvious reference to the shirt being a little tight around my muscles.

The shirt is a large. Should I wear big droopy shirts so that they hang off of me and look like a damn poncho?

The same night he said, 'that's ok Adam is losing his hair.'

Granted , I do have a hairline that goes back kind of far. But what the hell motivates someone to say something like that to a friend. Did he want me to feel like badly about myself?

I tried to tell him I didnt appreciate what he said and he replied 'thats ok just call me fat'.

The difference? I cant control my hairline. He can control his weight. Enough said.

The reason brought that example up was that I had been really paranoid about losing my hair. But I was wondering if it was something that I only I noticed.

His comment was an exclamation point that it wasnt just in my head. It was something that other people noticed.

I have made peace with the fact that I am losing my hair. It could be worse.

My male co-workers are the same way. If I change at work and leave in a basketball jersey I have to hear "Oh adam you are so huge...got to show off your huge muscles huh?"

Really I am just leaving work to go play basketball. This person is really saying, 'god I wish I could get off my butt and work out'.

These same people also love to point out acne on my face, or make fun of me any way they can.

It's getting to the point where I am becoming snappy with people. I try to say, 'hey if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all.'

It doesnt work.

What should I do?