The Incredible Shrinking Kylie

Kylie Minogue sat back in her dressing room. Her comeback world tour had just finished in front of a rapturous Melbourne crowd, and she was feeling that 'glow' that only happens when you've just come offstage.

"Well done, Miss Minogue," said her personal assistant, Brenda Dalbey. "That was one of your best performances ever."

"Mmm." Kylie didn't speak to her assistant. She'd tried, but she just couldn't like the woman - something about her unnerved her. She'd been brought in as a replacement when her old PA fell ill just before the tour started, and had done her job more efficiently than could ever have been expected. Even so...

"Brenda, could you go and get me a drink, please?" she said.

"Of course, Miss Minogue. Tea, I take it?"

"Yes please, Brenda."

Brenda turned and left, and Kylie watched her go. Part of the reason she didn't like her, she pondered, was that the other woman was, frankly, stunning. She was impossibly tall - at 6'6", she towered over the diminutive singer. Her stomach and legs were incredibly toned, and she had curves other women would kill for. And then there was her hair - long, thick and dark, all the way down to her curvaceous behind. Kylie's had grown back to its former glory after her extensive chemotherapy, but Brenda's outclassed it in every way. There was a rumour that she's been a basketball player before she took the PA job. If it wasn't true, Kylie could see how it got started.

Brenda returned with the tea, which Kylie drank quickly. She kicked her shoes off and settled back in her chair. "Thank you, Brenda, that was lovely," she said.

"Why thank you, Miss Minogue," replied Brenda. The singer noted the smug tone in her PA’s voice, and put her cup down.

The chink of her cup hitting the saucer coincided with another sound – that of the door being locked. Kylie looked up at her PA, who was twirling the door key around her finger. “Brenda? What are you doing?” she said, standing up.

“What am I doing?” Brenda calmly walked over and stood in front of her. The six-inch heels she was wearing meant there was a good two-foot height difference between the two of them, and Kylie found herself face-to-face (as it were) with Brenda’s breasts. She looked up at her PA. “You tell me what’s going on right now or I’ll…” She faltered as the Amazon leered at her.

“You’ll what?” sneered Brenda. “Wanna know what you’ll do, Min? I’ll tell you what you’ll do – you’ll wish you’d never been born.”

“You- you’ve never called me ‘Min’ before,” stuttered Kylie.

“I know,” said Brenda. “Seems so apt, doesn’t it? I mean, you’re what, five foot tall?”

“Five-one,” cut in Kylie, but Brenda shook her head.

“Oh, no no, Min. You were five-one, but you’re not now. You’ve shrunk by about, ooh, an inch since the start of this tour. And before you ask me how I know, I’ll tell you. I know you’ve shrunk, ‘cos I shrank you.”

“What? But that’s-”

“Impossible?” Brenda laughed – a harsh, unpleasant laugh. “Remember that night in Berlin, when you complained about feeling disorientated?”

“You shrank me then?” Kylie goggled. “How? I didn’t notice!”

Brenda laughed again. “Oh, you’ll find out, Min. Berlin was just a warm-up. Shrunk by one inch? By the end of tonight, you’ll be lucky if there’s an inch left of you…”

“But… but you can’t just go around shrinking people!” said Kylie, as Brenda turned away.

“Sorry, who says I go around shrinking people?” said Brenda, turning back to face her. “I’m going to shrink you. No-one else. I don’t have a hit-list or anything. I’m just gonna shrink you and get out of here. Well, I might shrink your sister if she comes looking for you.” She crossed the room to by where the door was, and pulled what looked like a child’s ray gun out of her bag. “Now, hold still…” She pushed a button on the machine’s side.

Kylie didn’t get a chance to move before a bright green beam leapt out of the device and struck her in the chest, freezing her. She felt it spreading out over her entire body, making her skin tingle, and crackling on her clothes - a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt she'd changed into after the show - until it joined up with itself in the small of her back and she was completely immobile. The whole thing couldn’t have taken much more than a second.

Brenda pulled the trigger, and a pulsating red beam replaced the green one. Kylie felt it wash over her, accompanied by a low-frequency pulsing sound, and the green hue evaporated. Suddenly, the ray started getting fainter, and disappeared. For a moment Kylie thought it had failed, but then she felt her stomach lurch as though she was in a lift, and the room began to grow ominously around her. The pulsing sound rose in pitch in synchrony with her diminishing size.

The smaller she shrank, the faster she shrank further. Brenda took her finger off the trigger after about ten seconds, by which time she had already shrunk to less than an inch tall. She didn’t finally stop shrinking for another second, by which time she was less than a tenth of an inch tall.

As the last effects of the immobilization wore off, Kylie looked up. Brenda was a distant column, smirking on the far horizon. The ceiling appeared deceptively close, like the sky. Her shoes, which she had discarded earlier and which had fit her perfectly, lay at odd angles before her, dwarfing her and appearing completely different to when she had worn them barely five minutes before. Behind her, the chair loomed, more threatening than Brenda because of its proximity. The threadbare carpet, flattened by years of heavy boots and performer’s equipment, now appeared as challenging as any assault course.

The shaking ground announced Brenda’s approach. One enormous open-toed stiletto crashed down in front of Kylie, missing her by the narrowest of margins. Kylie stared in astonishment at toes more akin to foothills, then followed the endless legs up past those hips to the colossal bosom and the face above it.

“Ooh, aren’t you tiny?” the giant woman smirked. “Pity you’re too tiny to hear, all the way down there…”

She scooped up the shrunken songstress in one quick, fluid motion and raised her to her face. “That better, Min? You like living up to your name?”

“Change me back!” yelled Kylie at the top of her lungs. “I’ll never survive being this tiny!”

“Survive?” Brenda’s bow furrowed. “But you won’t need to survive, Min. I’ll look after you just so long as you agree to do everything I say.”

“You can’t do that! That’s slavery!” replied Kylie.

“No it’s not! Think of it as being… an adventure.”

“You don’t need to patronise me, Brenda.”

“Don’t I? Okay, then.” Brenda tipped her hand over, and Kylie fell what felt to her like several thousand feet. She landed, dazed and confused but otherwise all right, on the exact spot where Brenda had shrunk her.

“You see Min? Nothing bad’s going to happen,” said Brenda, bending over her.

“You bitch!” yelled Kylie, and instantly wished she hadn’t. Brenda’s expression became very ugly, and her face turned puce.

“Oh, so you want to play with the big girls, Min?” she said quietly. “Well then – try this!”

Kylie was scooped up once again, and flung onto the chair. She landed upside down in the soft seat cushion. She righted herself just as an immense dark shadow fell over her – Brenda’s ample behind, lowering itself right on top of her.

“NOOO!” cried Kylie. “Brenda, please! I'll be sq-” She was unceremoniously cut off as Brenda’s backside smothered her, crushing her into the cushion.

Kylie struggled manfully, but in vain. She was all but resigned to spending her last few minutes asphyxiating under Brenda’s jeans when she suddenly found herself being lifted into the air. She had, in the hot, airless space, become stuck to Brenda’s behind. Kylie felt something wrap around her and pull her free, and found herself in front of Brenda’s face, now restored to its usual hue and expression.

“Now, Min,” she said, “have you learnt your lesson?” Kylie, who was too winded to talk, nodded mutely.

“Good. Now, don’t you worry about a thing.” She put Kylie down on a table and grabbed her belongings, shoving them into a bag. “Once I get you home, we can start getting you settled in.”

“There is no way you are putting me in that bag,” said Kylie, who had recovered somewhat from her ordeal.

“Don’t worry, Min,” said Brenda. “I wasn’t going to put you in there anyway.” She picked up the tiny woman, dropped her into the breast pocket of her blouse, buttoned it shut and, swinging the bag over her shoulder, made her way to the parking lot.

In that breast pocket, Kylie was experiencing the worst five minutes of her life. Brenda had a preference for tight blouses that showed off her figure, but left little space for tiny women who might just end up in said pocket. Kylie was caught between two sheets of cotton – the outer one forming the pocket and the inner one following the mammoth curve of Brenda’s breast. Every step her captor took felt like being on one of those nausea-inducing fairground rides that spins round fast enough that people don’t need the floor to help them stay upright.

Brenda wasn’t exactly careful, either. More than once Kylie found herself being forced against and into Brenda’s breasts as she bumped into people, scraped through narrow passages or clasped objects to her bosom. Eventually, however, she felt a change in the air that indicated they were now outside, and heard a car door opening. Brenda climbed in, put her bag on the seat next to her and closed the door. She waited until the light went off, but instead of driving away, she reached into her pocket and retrieved her shrunken captive.

“How was that, Min?” she said. She spoke using a kind of smug, slightly patronising tone – exactly like a PA, thought Kylie bitterly. Out loud she said, “What are you going to do now?”

“Well…” said Brenda, putting Kylie down on top of the steering wheel. Kylie got to her feet very carefully – she didn’t want to fall so far twice in one night. “Aren’t people gonna wonder where I am?” she said.

“Ah, see, I thought of that,” said Brenda. “In about five minutes, you’re gonna walk out of your dressing-room, get in your car, and drive off. But you won’t go home, oh no. You’ll say you’re going to ‘clear your head’ for a bit, and head off toward Perth… only you’re gonna get lost. Your car will be found eventually – burned out about halfway between Alice Springs and the Blue Mountains. You, on the other hand, will probably never be seen again.” Brenda smiled. It wasn’t a nice smile. “Well… I say ‘probably’. I don’t actually mean it.”

“Hold on… how can I be sat on your steering wheel and driving into the outback at the same time?” said Kylie. “I’d say it was impossible, but…” she indicated herself.

“Yeah, that was a bit of a problem. Fortunately, I managed to develop a kind of ‘physical hologram’ – it looks like you, sounds like you, moves like you, it can pick up objects, drive a car, answer questions like you would… It’s already been pre-programmed to do exactly what I told you would happen.”

“But surely someone would recognise it as me?” said Kylie. “Won’t someone record the number plates? What about getting gas? No car could get from here to Alice Springs even on a full tank!”

“Oh, Min, Min,” said Brenda, shaking her head. “It’s all been planned out. Once the holo-you is on the road, it’ll change the plates. It’ll cut its hair, change its clothes, think of an alias… except it won’t think, of course – it’s all been programmed. It’s been told where exactly to stop for petrol, which roads to take, where to stop and torch the car…”

“And after it’s flamed my car?” said Kylie, feeling the anger rise at the thought.

“Then I simply press a button and it vanishes. It gets transported all the way back to me, the Kylie persona is deleted, I do some final track-covering and then I send it out on whatever else I want it to do for me.”

“But… where do you get all these things from?” stuttered Kylie. “The shrink-ray, the… the ‘holo-person’ – did you buy them?”

“Buy them?” Brenda laughed. “You can’t buy this kind of thing, Min! I built them! Invented them! Every last little bit – all from hardware stores, electrical spares and junk-shop bargains.”

“But… I don’t understand…” said Kylie, now sitting with her legs dangling over the edge of the steering wheel. “Why aren’t you working for the government or one of the multi-nationals or something?”

“The government?” Brenda laughed again. “I took my idea to ‘em, but they wouldn’t listen! Said it’d cost too much… that really got to me, that. So I swore I’d take revenge on ‘em.”

“And that revenge involves shrinking and kidnapping me?” replied Kylie.

“In a word, yes.” Brenda smiled. “If there’s time, I’ll tell you later. We’d better get moving if we’re gonna get where we’re going before sunset. That’s sunset tomorrow, Min.”

“I guessed,” snapped Kylie. “Where are we going, anyway?”

“Somewhere far, far away, where no-one will ever find us.”

“They’d have enough trouble finding me as it is,” retorted Kylie, as Brenda picked her up again. “And there’s no way I’m going back in that pocket,” she said as the giantess’ face hovered before hers.

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of putting you back in there, Min,” said Brenda. “Oh, no… you need to be comfortable for such a long journey…” Kylie looked down, her eyes widening with horror. With her free hand, Brenda unbuttoned and opened her blouse so that her ample cleavage was showing. Kylie looked back up at her.

“You wouldn’t,” she said nervously.

“I would.” The Amazon smirked, and released her grip.

Kylie screamed as she plummeted into the waiting cleavage. She fell some way in before hitting one breast, sliding down it and getting stuck firmly in at the point where one met the other. She looked up at Brenda, who now seemed impossibly distant.

“Actually, Min,” said Brenda, “I think I was wrong. You won’t be comfortable in there, not by a long shot. Oh, but it is still a long journey. Well, pleasant dreams.”

Kylie’s small triangle of view from between Brenda’s breasts diminished and then vanished as Brenda rebuttoned her blouse. She felt the enormous round orbs either side of her begin to press in and drag her down, and she resigned herself to the thought that, no matter how terrible the pocket had been, the next few hours were bound to be infinitely worse.

* * * * *

Brenda drove.

Australia was a big country – more than big enough for one woman, even one as stunning as Brenda, to disappear in. She drove for hours, only stopping for petrol or food.

Kylie, sandwiched deep within her cleavage, was getting a good idea of what hell might be like. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t fight the forces exerted by those enormous orbs, and quickly sank completely between them. It was fortunate Australian highways were so straight and empty, as Brenda periodically removed both hands from the wheel to fidget with her bra and bust, which usually resulted in Kylie slipping slightly further down her cleavage. Changing gear generally resulted in a fair degree of wobbling, with Kylie being bounced and bashed between Brenda’s breasts. Kylie couldn’t help but think Brenda was doing it slightly more often than she needed to.

It was after midday before Brenda pulled off the road and unbuttoned her blouse. Kylie was completely unaware they had stopped until Brenda reached in and prised her out, holding her in front of her face again.

“I’m not even gonna say what I think of you,” snapped the tiny singer.

“Don’t worry, Min,” said Brenda, as though she hadn’t heard, “there’s only another six hours to go.”

“I’m not going back in there for six hours mmm mmph mmm hmm phmm mmm!” replied Kylie as Brenda plunged her back into her cleavage and pushed her in with her thumb. The larger woman buttoned her blouse back up, started the engine and pulled back onto the highway.

The next six hours were, if anything, even worse than before. The roads got progressively worse, and the heat and humidity increased dramatically. Kylie found herself being part-squeezed, part-bounced further down until, suddenly, she dropped completely out from between Brenda’s breasts and landed on her bra. Almost immediately, an enormous hand reached in and shoved her bodily back in.

An hour or two later, Brenda pulled up in front of a small, ramshackle hut in the middle of the Outback. She opened her blouse, reached back into her cleavage, pulled the shrunken woman out and said, “We’re home.”

“That’s it?” said Kylie, distinctly underwhelmed.

“Oh, stop whining, Min! I’m sure it’ll grow on you.”

“It’s not like I’m going to be doing any growing on my own, is it?” retorted Kylie as Brenda deposited her back in her cleavage. She kept her blouse open, so Kylie was able to see where she was going as they went inside.

Inside wasn’t what Kylie had been expecting. Instead of the ancient, unkempt furniture and dead insects, there was just one room with a ramp disappearing into the ground. As Brenda walked down the ramp, lights came on in the bowels of the building.

Brenda walked downwards for ages. Kylie felt herself slipping down into Brenda’s cleavage again. At least I won’t fall out this time, she thought as her arms went above her head and she sank between the orbs. Almost instantly, Brenda reached in and pulled her back out. “Here,” she said, “Hold on to this.” She lifted Kylie up to her hooped earring. “Come on, you might get a better view up there.”

Nervously, Kylie stepped onto the ring and held on with both hands.

“I’d sit down if I were you.”

Kylie sat – and immediately wished she hadn’t. As soon as Brenda set off again, she lost her balance and found herself holding on with both hands to the earring.

“Brenda – stop!” she called, as one hand slipped free.

“What was that, Min?” Brenda turned her head quickly, setting her earring swinging and causing Kylie to drop onto her shoulder. The miniaturised pop star struggled to stop herself from falling to the floor until Brenda’s hand wrapped itself around her and lifted her into the air again.

“Okay, so maybe the earrings weren’t such a good idea, Min,” she said. “Trouble is, I just can’t think of anywhere else to put you… unless…”

Kylie found herself being lowered towards Brenda’s bust again, but instead of dropping into the cleavage, she was now set down on Brenda’s right breast.

“There,” said Brenda. “Now sit down and hold tight!”

The rest of the journey was ‘bouncy’ to say the least, but Kylie managed to keep herself out of trouble (and Brenda’s cleavage) until, finally, Brenda opened a door and turned on the light inside.

The room they had just entered was windowless – unsurprising considering they were a good distance underground – except for one small aperture, which allowed a small square of natural light into the room from a dome on the roof of the house, all the way up on the surface. Brenda must have seen Kylie staring up at it, as she said, “Impressive, isn’t it? The dome contains a prism that refracts as much light as possible down here. We’ll need it, too – it’s too far to trek up there every day just to stop us looking like vampires.”

“Too far?” Kylie turned to look at her. “How far is too far?”

“Oh, I’d say about… five miles, wouldn’t you?”

“Five miles? There’s five miles of tunnels up to the surface?” exclaimed Kylie. Brenda returned a nonplussed stare.

“Tunnels? No, Min – it’s five miles straight down. The tunnels are more like fifteen miles.”

“You’re joking,” said Kylie, shocked. “We can’t have done fifteen miles since the surface!”

“Took us three hours to get here, Min. Besides, that’s just what it took to reach this place. I’ve lived here for years, and I’ve found over three hundred miles of tunnel. Reckon there could be a good hundred times that, going down and out, all from that little shack on the surface.”

Kylie hugged her knees. She suddenly felt just how small she was. “What is this place?”

“Dunno. Reckon it might’ve been one of those government labs you hear rumours about – you know, the ones where they were supposed to be developing the Aussie Nuke a few years ago.”

Kylie nodded. The Aussie Nuke had been a popular urban myth for years – holes in the Budget, mysterious tests in the Outback, people disappearing for days into ramshackle huts like the one Kylie and Brenda had gone in to… people said all the evidence pointed to the government developing a nuclear weapon. The fact that the evidence was so suspect had kind of sabotaged the whole argument in Kylie’s mind. At least, it had until now.

“Anyway,” said Brenda, picking Kylie up again, “It’s been a long day, so I’m going to bed. How about you, Min?”

“Where am I sleeping?” replied the miniaturised woman.

“You’ll see,” said Brenda.

If I have to spend the night in the company of your boobs, I’ll scream, thought Kylie. Out loud, she said “In that case, I’ll go to bed when you do.”

“Good,” said Brenda. “I knew you would. I’ll go and get changed.” She turned and headed for an adjoining room.

Kylie waited until she heard the sound of running water, then took a glance over the edge. The sheer drop to the floor was enough for her to take a step back again. She sat down in a daze – there was absolutely no way she could escape. She was trapped.

Brenda reappeared, having stripped down to her bra and a pair of pyjama shorts. “Everything okay, Min?” she said.

“Yeah, I guess so,” said Kylie.

“Good. Now, in to bed.”

“But you haven’t told me where I’m sleeping,” called Kylie. Brenda turned back.

“Oh, of course! Sorry Min.” In one swift action, she picked up the shrunken woman with one hand and placed her in a little pouch sewn into her bra between the cups. It was big enough that Kylie could curl up inside, but shallow enough the when she stood up she could comfortably see over the top. “Well, what do you think?”

Kylie looked around. “Well, it’s better than some places I’ve been today,” she said, looking up at the giantess.

“Exactly.” Brenda smiled at her. “Anyway, I’m turning in for the night. I’ve had a long day.” She climbed into bed and rolled over onto her front, trapping Kylie in the pouch, between the mattress and her enormous assets. “Night Min,” she said as she turned the lights off.

Kylie, trapped on her back with Brenda’s breasts looming over her, could do nothing but whisper “Night, Brenda,” and try her best to get some sleep.

She didn't have much luck - Brenda's bust pushed outwards with every breath, causing Kylie to flinch regularly. Trying to relax in an environment like that was unbearable. If she could get out, she might... well, she didn't know what she might do, but she could at least have a decent night's sleep.

Fortunately for her, although not very comfortably, Brenda rolled over in her sleep at that moment, which presented Kylie with an unimpeded exit from her current position. Unfortunately, it was straight down, and right in the middle of Brenda's cleavage. She eyed the drop nervously, then imagined trying to spend the night in that pouch, and pushed herself off.

She landed awkwardly, and started to slip back down Brenda's cleavage. Then Brenda inhaled, and Kylie found herself sliding the other way. She stood up, steadying herself against one of the looming walls of flesh that seemed to have dominated a day that had lasted a lifetime, then broke into a run in order to get out before the waiting bosoms swallowed her again. She scrambled across Brenda's upper chest, but found her way blocked by a bra-strap wider than a motorway. She began trying to cross over it, but her efforts were cut short by the bedsprings groaning. She glanced over just in time to see Brenda's other shoulder loom rising into the air as the giantess rolled back over, before being flung onto the mattress. A moment later, Brenda's hand hit the mattress, bouncing Kylie back into the air. She landed on the pillow, not far from Brenda's lips. She turned and looked back down the bed, wondering how the hell she was going to get anywhere before her captor woke up.

The sensation of something creeping up her back made her turn around. Brenda's enormous tongue retreated into her mouth and the giantess sighed contentedly. "You taste so heavenly, Min," she whispered.

Terrified, Kylie began to run, but Brenda's hand snatched her up and flung her into the air. As she flew upwards, the giantess opened her mouth and craned her head back to catch her. Plummmeting earthwards, tiny Kylie was powerless to stop herself plunging into the waiting cavern.

Brenda's mouth closed. Inside, Kylie found herself being tossed, turned and shoved into every corner by the other woman's massive tongue. Then there was stillness. Kylie, standing on Brenda's tongue, used the opportunity to plead for her life.

"Please Brenda, think about what you're doing! I'll do anything you want! Please don't eat me-"

Her pleas were cut short as Brenda's tongue moved again. It shifted back, then tilted upwards, opening up her gullet. Kylie could only scream as she slid down Brenda's tongue and plunged down the giantess's throat, falling for a lifetime...

Brenda waited a few seconds after swallowing, then smiled evilly. "Night, Min," she said, before turning over and going back to sleep.

THE END...?

Author's Note: This story was inspired in equal parts by 'The Incredible Shrinking Woman' (terrible film starring Lily Tomlin) and the music videos to Kylie's 'Giving You Up' and Lit's 'Miserable'. It's probably a good argument against late-night TV, or at least against watching it.

By the way, as far as I'm concerned Kylie doesn't die when Brenda swallows her. Instead, Brenda's stomach acid shrinks her to microscopic size and she gets absorbed by one of the cells in Brenda's stomach, passes from there to the bloodstream and lives the rest of her days (which turn out to last for quite a few hundred years) in Brenda's liver, before dying tragically at the age of 978 when she gets crushed by a falling red blood cell. But that's just my ending - I left it open so you could imagine your own ending. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as i've enjoyed writing it - look out for my next effort soon!