6/23/06 Tribute to Myself

To test the day's shining,
I'd gladly take the leap.
But tomorrow's just a day away,
I'm petrified.
New everythings,
At 18 years.
I'm falling into Blue collars,
And losing myself,
Untimely.
I'm losing them all,
Tell them not.
For, I have watched this day away,
For oh so long it hurts.
I take no leap of faith into what is unfaithful,
To what pains me so,
In a world so black and white.
Veiled upon itself,
Till there's no more left to:
See,
Feel,
Taste.
No more left to trust...
No more left to trust...
But me,
Just myself.
A grey splotch,
In the middle of this perfect portrait,
Of my family,
Of the world.
Should I leave it?
Let it be untouched by me?
Let me no longer scorn it,
And drag it to the ground.
I'd banish myself away,
If only I had it in me.
The violence.
My life IS mine to take.
My only weapon left.