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Rated: 13+ · Book · Sci-fi · #1127414
Book in progress. Chapter 1 rough draft. Please be honest. I would like to learn. thanks
i have been thinking about this book for some time. i have some ideas that i think as a sci-fi junkie i've not seen before. id like to try to write them.

Sleep
Chapter 1

I decided to stay awake. It wasn’t a big decision, not really. I knew how to do it. Everyone knows how.
I made my way through the traffic toward town where my family lived, scarcely acknowledged, indistinguished. It was coming into the middle hours, some of the old had already begun the walk to the town resting place. I spoke a few words with one who told me that a storm approached but would not tell me how he knew. I thanked him for the warning and passed him. I spoke also with a farmer who complained to me about the harvest and of the coming winter. I shrugged as if to tell him I was powerless but interested and kept walking. As I passed I heard him continuing on, perhaps to his ox that struggled with his cart. It was only beginning to grow cold and the rest came only little if any earlier.
I came in time to the main street which lead to the city proper and had to wade through a parade of run down carts and wagons moving in and out of the city. I fell in line behind one, creeking and wailing away and followed it into the current.
“I know what comes.”
I heard it within myself. Perhaps because I knew it was written on the wall to the right side of the gate I was approaching. I had seen it many times in as many places since I was in school but for now it was on the wall by the gate, written in some form of stain. It would be gone soon and return later. The children and the old took notice, others worked. I had tried to explain the symbols to my younger brother Mihi once but he knew what they meant and soon lost patience for why. Mihi was to be a laborer and so was not taught to read. I worked as an apprentice recorder, a counter, and so was taught to keep numbers and symbols. I did this very well and so I often finished early but I pretended to work still. On some days I wandered beyond the city on others I went to Mihi's school to help.
The wagon in front of me stopped and I nearly walked into it. We were at the gate. As the wagon began again to roll I stepped out and around from the wake and entered the city, turning to glance at the writing on the wall as I passed. It was already gone again though and I moved out of line to see where it had passed. I stood there for a moment with an eye for those around me. I moved to the wall and leaned myself gently against the place where it had been.
I didnt run my fingers over the wood. i pretended to scrape droppings from my boots. I heard my brother giggling and turned to find him laughing. It made me lonely for a moment. I was embarrassed because it reminded me that there was once a time when droppings and body noises could replace my world with laughter and for me that time was over. It was good to see it in him though and he had enough to spare me a smile.
“you are huffing, mihi.”
I patted his head. It was moist and hot.
“we were playing because teacher had a dream and his father who is old, older than mr vahu from the village, is going to start again tonight in the rest.”
“really, mihi? Well that is lucky for you.”
I didn’t believe such stories but I could not deny him.
“its lucky for him too, the teacher’s father I mean because there is a woman who is ready to have a child so the teacher will put him next to her and then he will talk with teacher and tell him things so that when he doesn’t remember teacher can wait and tell him everything and then he’ll know. Oh and… well I guess the woman could tell him too. Where are you going?”
“I have an errand I must run and its far away so I must hurry.”
“where?”
“it is far, mihi.”
“Its west isn’t it? But you know I would want to come but you don’t want me to come so you wont tell me. Right? Well anyway so I want to watch teacher’s father jump so…”
“im sorry you grew so strong so young. It’s a waste to classify you for labor.”
I kissed his forehead and began to make my way west through the city.
“I’m not. Hey, your sign is gone again.”
I turned and saw him pointing to where it had been. With a grin he turned and moved into a crowd coming through the gate. He surfaced on the other side, running across the lesser commons toward his friends.
I had already begun to feel tired as I made my way through the narrow streets toward the west gate. People were already beginning to settle in groups to take their rest. Some people preferred the east side but most could be found here. Those on the east would rest sooner but they would also wake earlier. When I was a boy a friend and I decided to see the difference. I made my rest on the east side and he on the west and when we awoke we both began to run to the other. Its something every child in town has probably tried at least once and like every other child we met at about the mid point between gates. The difference was that small yet people still preferred one or the other as people often do and some of them quite emphatically.
I made my way to the gate and walked directly through. Undoubtedly, I drew stares and curious looks. I never looked back. I walked purposefully and quietly. Others were still making their way inward thru the gate from their work in the surrounding countryside. I walked with head down, lengthened strides and a peculiar feeling in my stomach. After only a few minutes I was alone, passing no one else on route to their rest. There were homes and fields scattered along this road and possibly some people were within these shelters. If they were they were preparing to rest. I had perhaps half an hour left to reach the river and prepare or the rest would take me in the woods where I stood. I decided to run. It was something I did often during my duties so I set a quick pace.
By the time I broke from the trees and began to make my way down the embankments which led to the river my heart had ceased pounding and settled into a rhythm. A light moisture had begun to collect on my undershirt but I could smell the water now and i became excited. I moved quickly down the path through the tall grass and re- entered the trees there. I knew the place on the river I had to reach so I turned from the path and moved through the undergrowth and fallen leaves. I was careful to make as little noise as possible though why I don’t really know.
Within a few moments the trees parted and I came to the rivers edge. I ran up river in the shallows of the water when possible and over rocks and stones when not. I ran several hundred yards this way and even crossed the river once at a narrow bend, scanning the river until I found what I sought. The plant was fairly common and I knew it would not be long. I ran for only several minutes more. Across the water poking slightly through the surface I saw a gathering of plants amid them one with the blood and bright red berries and dark barbed leaves..
I removed my outer wrap and undershirt and drew the knife from my belt. I did not bother with my short cloth. Time was leaving and if the rest came to take me away while I was in the river it would take me very far indeed. I climbed the bank to a large boulder, set my clothing down and dove into the cold water. I surfaced with my arms and legs already pounding. It was then that it occurred to me that I had not been careful to check the river for predators. I didn’t dwell on the thought except to imagine briefly what the villagers would think I was doing here when I was taken. It was a strange thought.
I made my way across the river with some effort. The sheer power of the river and my growing fatigue made my lungs burn but I reached the plant I was after. I began to tread for a moment to catch my breath as I felt for my knife. I drew a deep breath and dove, following the stem of the plant with my hand. I felt more than heard the sound of liquid motion and the cracking and rolling of rocks across the river bottom. I felt them cracking in the bottom of my throat and at the base of my neck. Feeling and hearing was almost all I had though. I could see almost nothing through the churning silt and had to trace my hand along the spine of the plant, pricking myself several times as I did.
When I found the bottom, I was already growing anxious from lack of air. I hurriedly grasped at the base of the plant and felt a deep stab into the center of my palm. A shot of pain and a burning itching followed. I planted my feet on the mucky bottom, pulled on the burning plant and cut with my knife. The plant jerked free and for a stricken moment I could not free my legs as I tried to surface. For the strangest of instants it seemed not worth fighting then glorious panic and I began to jerk and spasm until suddenly, wonderfully a leg came free and then did the other.
When I did break the surface it was not the surface at all. it was not the surface from where id come. I began to breath. I burned and nearly cried out but I moved quickly. Something had gone wrong. I swam sideways but kept my head and eyes above water. I tried to flush my eyes as I swam but they would not right themselves. I swam away from my things surrounded by horror. The sky had turned brilliant, burning with red and the like but the world around me was dying. Color and life bled from the earth, bled into the sky or actually into a portion of the sky for I could see now too with my perfect eyes that a portion of my sky was dying as well. I knew then. I knew.
I did not belong here. I did not belong and yet I kept swimming. I wanted to block my eyes to drown myself but I knew if I did I would not be real. I stared. I held every drop of it as life bled from my sky, spreading like some horrible boredom but even still I knew that what transfixed me kept me real. I reached the bank of the river and continued half paddling half crawling from the water, unable to steel my attention from the vision before me. I believe then I must have frozen for the pain and scraping suddenly ceased. I lay there wet and maybe shivering, for I knew that it grew colder and that heat too was leaving the world. I sat there for several minutes.
And in a time a black and blue veil slid over the remainder of the sky like my shroud and I was blind.
But in truth I was not blind and as vision returned I knew it was worse. Because now I belonged.


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