WHERES TEL?

WHERES TEL?

I fancied a Fillet O Fish. Not a bleeding Big Mac with chocolate milkshake? What! Fillet O Fish, coke no ice, that's bleeding what! Definitely not a chocolate milkshake! Only joking! Anything would do really, but my preference really would be a Fillet O Fish.

The kids, Stacey, Daniel and Sarah - Happy meal with 'chicken nuggets, chicken nuggets, must be chicken nuggets!' - Oh yeah and the unified 'Curry sauce' Right! So that's the kids sorted.

Fred and prison officers Dave, Gerry and Pat - all voted for the excellent choice of a Big Tasty meal, too much for me, would love to, but can never finish, besides they repeat like a bad soap opera.

Must be funny for those three though especially Dave chained to Fred like that, very strange! Fred had been away for about three years now. It was good of them to let him out for the day really. I bet when those cuffs come off, his wrists are red raw and Fred too. Wonder how they chose - 'who's wearing the jewellery today then?' Maybe they pick short straws? I know - paper - scissors - rock. Fred looks ok though, considering... Supposed to be out soon, hope so!

Poor Dave obviously lost today!

Terry's supposed to be coming, Julie's phoned him. Apparently he's at work. But if I know Tel, he's gunning it. Hope so anyway. If he does, it will be a full house!

He will. I'm sure.

So! Back to the food…

The screws - sorry, prison officers - the kids, me and Fred are catered for. I bet Fred's gonna tear into that Big Tasty as if it's the last one on the planet!

Bless him.

That leaves Julie, Jackie, Mick and of course Terry when he gets his arse in gear and gets here!

'alf past one.

Fred's only got a little while longer - apparently, he and them three, have gotta leave because of the traffic, anything after that, Fred, Dave, Gerry and Pat might be late back, and that cannot happen. Pat reckons the latest they can leave is about three o' clock.

Hurry up Tel.

I want some grub.

Julie's opted for two cheeseburgers and fries - coke, no ice. Having said that, I could do with some ice - I've changed me mind - 'I will have a Fillet O Fish and a coke with ice. Jack's going only with fries, even with coaxing, fries it is.

Mick's not fussed. Mick's never fussed. Anything! Whatever!

If I remember right Tel was always partial to a Big Mac. But we should wait. Come on Tel! Where are you mate?

Here we go! Now it starts! The big debate 'who's gonna go and get it?' Apparently, 'cause Tel's got the only car, he will. But he's gotta get here first. Forgive my use of language - fuck me! I only want a Fillet O Fish.... Maccy D’s is only up the top of road, I’d run there if I could.

It's funny seeing Fred like that, Cuffed to Dave. Dave seems pretty cool though. I wouldn't fancy... - Hold up, Julie's phones going....

I tell you what, that's the worst ring-tone I've ever heard.

.....I can smile now. Tel's on Belmont Road, Just round the corner. I can taste that tartar sauce, can't wait to wash it all down and burn my throat with that ice cold coke.

Painful but worth the aggro!

Ju's giving a running commentary, she's saying Tel's outside the polytechnic now, which means we can eat - soon!

Jack, and the kids have popped out, they're gonna guide Tel in. Bout time, I'm starving. (Sarah says she wants to stay with me – Not a problem)

Be nice to see Tel. Last time I saw him... well... put it this way, I could pick him up and twirl him like a lolly stick. Should be a big fella now! As I say Fred looks good too, wonder if they still look alike, used to look like twins! They weren't, but when they were little, you would have thought! Ju looks tired though, but the eldest always do, look at me! She always looked like 'em an all.

Having said that, I'm not that old really...

'Lucky get off, you know you're not suppose' to be on the bed' Always on the bleeding bed, don’t know what I would do without her. ‘Stop licking me dozy’

The scre… prison officers aren't saying much. Probably bloody starving and a little awkward - hold up that's the door, I think Jack's back and hopefully with Tel... Is it? I think so...

Result it is!

At bleeding last, we can eat!

He doesn't look any different. Still got a big hooter and big shoulders, always did have! Still got the Popeye muscles though - little fucker - forgive my French! Anyway enough of that, what about the grub?

Once again forgive my French - 'Fucking great to see you too mate! One thing though, your hands are fucking freezing' enough with the pleasantries.

For Tel's benefit, let's run through the food order, make sure we don't forget anyone:

Right!

Fillet O Fish and coke with ice for me - Jacks still gonna go with just fries, she says she's not hungry (My baby that is!) If that's want she wants, so be it - Fred and the prison officers, Big Tasty meals all round - Stacey, Daniel and Sarah - still the same - Happy meals with 'chicken nuggets, chicken nuggets, must be chicken nuggets!' and of course the obligatory 'Curry sauce' Kids...! Julie's gone for the two cheeseburger deal (not bad that deal -2 cheeseburgers and two fries, for £2)

I was right! Tel's gone for the Big Mac meal. Some things never change.

Jack keeps asking me what I want - 'Mike, Mike do you want anything darling, Mike...?'

I've already said...

Stace is saying get me a coke with ice. At least she's listening - Just like her dad, always listened, can learn a lot that way.

Jacks asking again…

My Jack looks tired; her eyes have been red a lot lately. Little Dan's been quiet and stubborn, at least one good quality in this day and age! And little Nou Nou (Sarah), well what can I say - not forgiving my French - fucking amazing!!

Tel's saying he will be back in min....

Now Ju's saying 'Can he hear you?'

I can hear you!

Hope Tel hurries back...

Just wanted a Fillet O Fish....


For Michael

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