Bleeding

The way I felt inside

I used to cut myself
To distract me from
The way I felt inside
As I watched the blood escape
I wished the hurt would, too
So I wouldn't feel the pain

Hatred ruled that world
But fear controlled me
Love was such an ugly word
That I would never use

I hid behind myself
So they couldn't see
The fear I had inside
Then they broke me down
And they tried to help
But I pushed them all away

Hatred ruled that world
But fear controlled me
Love was such an ugly word
That I could never use

I used to hate myself
And despised my life
But couldn't find a way to die
I used to curse God's name
Until I realized that
I was the one to blame