First Memory

The beads of dew began to accumulate around the edges of my shoes and slowly seeping through the white canvas, making each step cold and moist. Long blades of grass surrounded me, some easily towering over my head, forming a shielding canopy as I shifted through them. My white jacket began to collect the hanging droplets that still clung to the blades.

Slowly and unsteadily I walked through the field, my thick but weak legs regaining balance at every step. I could see the curious figure through the mesh of grass, watching me as closely as I watched it.

One step, pause. Another step, pause.

Concentrating at every step, I gradually closed in. I could hear the whispers and murmurs of those behind me, but for once I had an interest other than to cling onto the familiars and family lazily. There was something new and foreign that I wanted to see, something that even I would venture alone to investigate.

I first saw it with my mother’s finger. With arm outstretched she pointed down into the beige knoll and with high-pitched rounded words she spoke to me. The words to me were unclear, but I knew the meaning. Somehow I searched the massive field, not entirely in the indicated direction for my head would wobble from side to side from the residual sleepiness, but found nothing.
Resting on her shoulder, my interest began to wade. The pulsating waves of the hay no longer mesmerized me and the familiar blanket of dozing began to envelop me.

She made another avid mumble of excitement and pointed again, now moving it lower and lower. With the smallest amount of effort, I lifted my head and followed her finger.

There it was.

Its head popped up from the fog of grass, exposing itself to the murky day and its meaningless spectators. Its ears were comical because of their odd proportions, seeming to be far too large for its head. They twisted back and forth individually like an unplanned dance, coming to rest now and than for some unheard cause. Big black eyes were surrounded with accentuating lashes which were visible even from a distance. The only portion of its brown features that didn’t seem walloping was its mouth, its tiny black mouth, which was chewing mechanically.

Never had I seen such a creature. Its oddity captured my imagination.

I stretched out my arms, opening and closing my stubby fingers in desire. I wanted to touch it like I did with every fascinating object that was accessible. Leaning forward, I began to gargle and whinny.

She understood what the antsy grumbles meant and carried me down to the edge of the field. Her slow approach was nearly unbearable. I began to fidget and kick, adding squeals here and there to express my anxiety.

Finally my feet touched the damp earth with joyous glee. Barely pausing to assure my balance, I was off into the thicket with gitty anticipation.

Now I am standing here, shifting aimlessly from leg to leg, staring in unison with the small fragile body and its inky eyes, which were rhinestone with wet pearls. I feared to move excessively; the thought of shattering such a delicate moment seemed disastrous and unfulfilling. The world was silent except for the breeze stroking the wheat and the birds twittering in the far off trees.

For an instant, time stood still.

It was the animal that took the first step. Head bent low and sweeping the musky ground, he gingerly walked forward, front legs intricately alternating with the back, shortening the small distance between us. It stretched its neck toward me, its nose wiggling as it sniffed the air around me. I raised my hand as if accepting an invitation.

The nose was unexpectedly wet. Barely touching the tips of my fingers, I retreated my hand back to my side, shocked by the electrical sensation of the connection. The creature seemed just as nervous as I was for it reacted with a sudden jump. Another moment of seized time arose as we tried to regain the same connection that was threatened. Cautiously, it started its approach again. I could see the stiffness of its legs begin to lax as it floated closer and closer.

It stopped.

The circuit was cut and its eyes no longer watched me but to the sky behind. It hunkered down, large ears impressively shrinking as they folded back. In a flash, the creature was gone, wheat and grass rippling in its wake.

The real world imposed itself on me again. I was sad for the loss of a friend, and a small amount of guilt began to spread through me. Did I make it run away?

I began to turn toward the direction that I came, head lowered as far as it could without toppling me over. White shoes. There were white shoes blocking my path. I followed the shoes up to the rich blue denim, then to the apple-red shirt, and the burn brown framed face.

It was her! I raised my arms to the sky, begging to be in her arms. She lifted me up, whispering words. She repeated one sound, liquid and flat, over and over. Tried to say it. “Da-de-eer”