correspondent

If you have never ventured past your hometown, county or state, you may not find this as amusing as it is true. Luckily, in my life experience, I have yet to met a literate human-being who has not seen the news, so at least you may be able to smirk.

It is highly interesting, being in a forgien country where the natives speak "English" but not your "English". The attempt at communication can actually be quite comical.

Upon arrival in my beloved overseas destination, I find myself instantaneously involved in intense converstaion. Unfortnatley, I did not recieve the sympathy that is bestowed upon those who must learn a new language. In the latter situation the  local people speak slowly with wild, desperate guestures as they smile and pat your hand. Instead, I must sort through an attack of words, half of which are either pronounced totally wrong, mean completely different things, or have no meaning to me whatsoever. I end up looking like one of those foriegn news correspondents in a war-torn country, intently peering into the camera as I wait for the satilite feed of the obvious question produced by the local news anchor.

The audience hears "It seems quite loud over there Judy, are those outbound rockets that we hear?"

Then...
    an erie pause as the correspondent (me) gazes intently and silently into the camera, slightly nodding, one hand up to her ear.

Everyone sits and watches the spectical, wondering what exactly is taking so long and whether or not the simple question will ever be answered.

All of a sudden the correspondent errupts with a resounding...

"Yes Dan, yes they are."

Silence again.

This humorous sequence is what takes place between myself and those surrounding me in the enchanting Emerald Isle on a daily basis.

They speak... I stare (waiting desperately for my brain to process the information and make allowances for the accent and vernacular)...and finally, several seconds after an apporpriate response should have been made, I reply, with one hand up to my ear...

"yes".