Rock Rumble

Patrick looked at the row of trees across the parking lot. They separated the school lot from the adjoining neighborhood. The school property crammed in three buildings, a soccer and football field, a track and plenty of parking for the teachers in less than two acres inside city limits. Most of the teachers lived in the suburbs and commuted into the city. They split the classes with the remaining nuns and a few of the priests. It was fall and the start of another school year so the teachers organized activities that would introduce the freshman to the rest of the student body. As well as let the students get out of class to organize the events while the teachers caught up with the work they had neglected over the summer.

Friday was to be the battle of the bands. Patrick and the rest of them had spent the summer drinking under the highway bridge and practicing playing as a band. That was basically all they did, and they had gotten good at both endeavors. There would be no drinking tonight however. Patrick was wondering if he knew anyone who lived in the neighborhood near the school. The men’s room was totally disgusting and he really needed to shit. They were scheduled to go on stage seventh. There had only been three bands so far and that left plenty of time to go shit and make it back in time. Unfortunately he knew nobody within walking distance from the school. He decided to have a cigarette and try not to think about it.
“Hey what’s up?” she said
He looked up towards the door that led back into the gym. There were a few guys unloading a pick-up of a drum set, the next band.
“Hey, Hello!” she said
He looked back to the parking lot and saw her walking toward him with a friend.
“What can I do for you ladies?” he said
“Can I have one of those cigarettes?” she asked
“Actually can I have two, one for me and one for my friend?” she asked

He nodded and didn’t break his gaze to the friend. He had seen her around, he noticed her at a few of the shows he had seen that summer. She went to an all girl’s school a few miles north. It was also a catholic school and the two schools held dances together. He was now in his junior year and had stopped going to dances at the end of his freshman year. However, he remembered seeing her at the dances when he was a young, dumb freshman.

“Sure.” He said
“I think I know you.” She said

As he dolled out the smokes he couldn’t help but break into a smile at hearing that she actually recognized him too.

“Yeah, I’ve seen you around too. My names Patrick” he said. He shook both girls’ hands; they both looked him in the eye and checked him out as they did. They smiled and looked at each other as if embarrassed to be shaking hands.
“I’m Natalie, and this is Tess.” she said
Patrick looked at the other girl and asked “What’s Tess short for?”
“Teresa” she said
“So how do we know each other anyway?” Natalie asked
“I don’t know, I’ve seen you at a few shows in town this summer I guess.” Patrick said
“And you’ve never said hello.”
“Sorry.” he said
“Are you playing tonight or are you here hanging out”
“I’m playing, we’re on seventh.”
“What’s the name of your band?” Tess asked
“Juicy Benefits.” He said
“What kind of name is that? Where the hell did you get that one?” she asked

He turned back to face Natalie. He wondered if she swore a lot. She was so pretty, hearing her say hell was funny.
“Well it means a few things but in short it’s a reference to someone I know picking their nose.” He said
“OK that’s a little disgusting but neat in a way.” She said. “My boyfriend is playing tenth. He’s in Gutter snipe. They rock, have you ever heard them?” she asked
“Yeah they’re good but I think we’re still gonna win.”
“I’ve never heard of you guys. Do you play anywhere?” Tess asked.
“No, tonight is our coming out party.”
“Why are you gay or something?” Natalie said.

Patrick turned red. He didn’t know how to react to that one. He also felt bad because she had said she had a boyfriend. A lot of these girls hung out with gays so if you were too harsh making fun you might scare the girls away.

“No! but we haven’t played anywhere but here and My friend’s basement.” He said “We’ve got a good set. You girls should make sure you get to hear it”
His stomach grumbled loud enough for both girls to hear it. His nerves and nicotine combined to remind him he needed to find a bathroom as soon as possible.

As he exited the bathroom he looked around the gym to find the rest of the guys. The next band was walking on stage so most of the crowd surged toward the stage. He knew that most of the guys would probably be sitting in the bleachers somewhere, too nervous to talk to anybody other than each other. He was right, John, George, and Dave were towards the rear of the gym under the banners marking the schools past achievements in the rink. Paul was most likely in the crowd getting a good spot to listen to the next band. As well as letting all the girls within earshot hear about what a great guitarist he was. For some reason that Patrick had yet to figure out, girls liked, no loved guitar players. He had decided to play the drums as an economic decision. There was an old set at his Uncles house that he let Patrick have when he had announced his intentions of playing in a band. He couldn’t have afforded a new instrument and his parent probably wouldn’t have bought him one.

“What’s up fucker, I saw you out there talkin’ to those girls that hang out with Gutter snipe.” George said
“That girl Tess is hot!” said John
“Yeah but that other girl is sweet too.” said George.
“Yeah they’re both nice. What up Dave? You gonna be alright?” Patrick asked
Dave looked up, pursed his lips and nodded. That was good enough for the rest of them.
“Where’s Paul?” Pat asked.
“You know where he is. He’s checking out the competition. I didn’t feel much like blowing my ears out with crapolla like that plus I’ve notice the monitors aren’t that loud. We’re gonna need to hear later. We’re gonna have to be tight tonight too. Even a few of these early bands aren’t as bad as the last few years. One band already played a Zeppelin song too. It’s a good thing they massacred it.” said John.
“Yeah.” Said Dave
“So did you get any phone numbers out there or did you fail to close the deal as usual?” asked George
“She goes out with mark from gutter snipe. I guess she likes guitarists.” Sad Pat
“Who Tess or the other girl?” asked George.
“Her name is Natalie. Not Tess, I don’t know anything about Tess.”
“Well if we play good maybe we’ll be going out on a double date after the show.”
“Didn’t you hear me; she goes out with that dude Mark.”
“Maybe your girl is spoken for but when Tess decides that the Bassist is best I’ll see what I can do for you.” George said.

Patrick laughed but knew that George was telling the truth. His honesty was his most endearing quality, paired with his confidence most girls did tend to listen to him. Patrick didn’t feel like thinking about girls anymore and got Dave to go outside with him to have another cigarette.
They had the outside to themselves. Both boys pulled out a smoke and lit up in unison. They just leaned against the wall of the gym in silence for several minutes.
“Are you nervous man?” Patrick asked
“A little I guess. I mean we know all the songs pretty good but this will be the first time we play them in front of anyone other than our parents.” said Dave.
“True. But I think we’ll do fine. We had to play our first live gig eventually. It’s the only way to get better at it.” said Pat
“I know, but I hope I don’t get so nervous I fuck up or freeze or something. I keep thinking about that exercise you hear to do to alleviate your nerves. Pretend everyone is naked; you know what I’m talking about?” Dave asked.
“Yeah who hasn’t heard that shit?”
“Well that’s it, its shit. I think if I visualize some of those girls naked I’ll loose track in my fantasy. If I imagine those dudes naked I might freak out and puke. I don’t know.”
“You’ll do fine. Have another smoke, and wait here, I’m gonna go take a piss.”
Patrick was nervous too. Instead of overanalyzing everything he was excessively urinating. Patrick returned from behind a car to find Paul had joined Dave outside.
“What’s up man, you ready, were going on in about twenty minutes. This band sucks.” said Paul
“You feel good; I think we got a good chance this year. The competition is better than the last few years.” said Pat
“But we weren’t part of the competition the last few years. This is our coming out party.” said Paul
“What are you a fag or some thing. This may be your coming out party but it’s my first gig.” Sad Pat
“Whatever bro I talked to Mark from gutter snipe and he said you better stay away from his girl or he’s going to kick your ass.”
“What are you talking about I had a smoke with her and her friend”
“I heard you guys were making out in her car out hear. Dave gave me all the juicy details.”

Dave looked at Pat, smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Paul and Pat exchanged punches to the shoulder. All three boys laughed and fought playfully. Even though all were nervous they were also excited about the night. All summer they had practiced the same fifteen songs. Tonight they were only going to play six. It took two weeks for all the boys to agree on the set list for the show. There would be time for four to six songs depending on how well the crowd responded. All three boys entered back into the gym where they usually played basketball or were forced to do push-ups. Tonight was different; they got to be rock stars for the first time in their lives. Girls would scream, guys would bang their heads and all would be well with the world.

They were the next band to go on, all huddled outside the door to the gym. They had made a promise not to get high or drunk before the show. Dave’s breath was revealing the fact that he had broken the promise. The rest of them gave him a hard time but he had only taken a few swigs of rum to calm his nerves. They were all thinking that it might be a good idea. However, Father Sullivan was outside with them watching the boys unload their instruments out of the truck.
“Alright boys I’ll be back here after the set.” George’s dad said. “Good luck, Georgie, me and your mom will be in the back. Why don’t you give her a shout out?”
“Sure dad, I’ll dedicate Your time is gonna come.” George said.
“Hey there father, you keep these boys from breaking anything alright.” George’s dad said.
“I certainly will Mr. Harrison, tell his mother I sad hello. We are all looking forward to see what these boys can do.” said Father Sullivan.

George’s family was the coolest of the bunch, allowing the boys to practice in the basement. Mr. Harrison even played rhythm guitar on occasion for fun. Paul and John were helping the previous band get their equipment off stage if only to get them out of the way. The crowd was getting warmed up and was beginning to dance for the last few bands. All five boys were visibly nervous to everyone except themselves. Dave did everything he could to avoid having to talk or even get near father Sullivan.
Patrick was sorting through his drum set making sure he had all his stands and extra sticks and the right symbols. He looked through the door to see if he could start lugging his drums to the stage. As he did Paul looked at him from the stage with wide eyes and a sweeping wave signaling him to start setting up. All the boys began bringing their equipment up to the stage to set up. A tech working the show was telling them what to put where. Anyone who wasn’t racked with nerves could see that he wanted to be somewhere else.
“Dude look at all these people.” Paul said to nobody in particular. The rest of the boys looked out into the crowd. Instead of cringing they all returned to tuning their instruments with huge smiles. Their excitement was building and about to reach a climax. The crowd began yelling for music, some of the boys friend began cheering them on. Patrick finished building his set and the tech sat down behind the drums before Pat had a chance. He began adjusting the several microphones that would be picking up the drums. He talked back and forth with a tech at the sound board. When he reach the snare drum he winced and threw a disapproving look at Patrick as he cranked the drum head tighter than Pat had ever dared. For a moment Pat thought that he might break it. Who the hell was this guy to wind the head so tight? The effect was a sharper sound out of the drum and when Patrick sat down he gave a few hard hits to make sure it didn’t split. He looked at the front row of people. There were a few head bangers yelling for the boys to play. Several girls were looking longingly at Paul, Dave and George were making final tuning adjustments to their guitars. Patrick noticed Natalie in the front row, he caught her looking at him but quickly looking away to say something to her boyfriend who was now talking with George. Patrick knew then that if he was able, he would do this for the rest of his life. The overhead lights were shut off and every color you could imagine began dancing off the finely finished glossy gym floor.

“Were Juicy Benefits.” Paul said to the crowd as they started into Fight for your right to party. With perfectly timed precision they rocked the entire crowd into frenzy. They loved it, not one of them could stop smiling and they played the song perfectly. When they stopped playing John let the crowd scream for a minute before he introduced the band. The first song went so well each of them got a rowdy cheer. Patrick was excited because he saw that Natalie gave an enthusiastic cheer when his name was given.
“This next song is for George’s mom.” Paul said

George waved and Patrick saw a small arm wave frantically at the back of the gym. They went into Your time is gonna come and built the song well. Being that it was bold to cover any Zeppelin song they did a good enough job to please the audience. Patrick momentarily panicked when he broke a stick going through his second drum roll. They felt confident having played two crowd pleasers and went into their third song right after the second. This was an original written by George and John, it was a Green day rip-off but not bad for first time song writers. The boys rushed through the song and realized that they still had a lot of time left to be on stage. All the boys gathered around the drum set to have drink of water and relish the experience with each other. After letting the crowd screams to continue for a moment they broke into a punk rendition of Midnight Rambler. It took a minute for the crowd to recognize the song but when they did they met it with approval. Most of the crowd were head bangers and rockers, all of whom eventually spent time worshipping at the alter of the Rolling Stones. At least that is what George’s father had told them. It was Paul’s idea to turn it into a punk song, and it work brilliantly. The boys found themselves with enough time for two more songs. As they had agreed earlier they played an original ballad written by John. It was cool enough to keep the guys interested and sappy enough to give all of them a chance to hook up that night. Paul thanked the crowd and urged them to get the judges to vote for Juicy Benefits. They played their final song; On a Plane the crowd once again met the song with raucous approval. As they finished and began taking down their equipment the boys concluded that they had played enough classic tunes to make the judges happy.  Enough new songs to make the crowd happy. It was also agreed upon that their originals were met with enthusiasm. All of them were glowing with excitement, they believed that the battle was all but won. As he walked down the steps with his bass drum he was met by Natalie and Tess.
“You guys fucking rocked!” Natalie said. Patrick still thought it was funny for such a good looking girl to talk like one of his friends.
“Hell yeah, that was awesome. Thank you so much.” Pat said. He was shouting due to the fact that he could still not hear over the ringing in his ears.
“What are you guys doing after the show?” asked Tess.
“I don’t know yet but I’ll find out and see you girls before we leave. Why is Gutter snipe having a party.” asked Patrick. He looked at Natalie who was now looking away into the crowd.
“You guys did a great job, we’ll see you later.” said Tess.

Outside everyone was both excited and relieved. Paul and John were jumping of George’s dad’s truck and screaming at the parking lot. A large number of people emerged into the night after the set to congratulate the band on a job well done. Dave was talking to a girl and so was George. He was talking with Tess and Natalie. Pat shared a glance with Nat eliciting a smile. He then turned to George’s dad who was enjoying the scene almost as much as the boys. Father Sullivan even offered an enthusiastic review after he berated some students for smoking on school grounds.
“Hey guys let’s get this equipment out of here so you can come back and enjoy the rest of the bands. See what they have to offer.” said Mr. Harrison.

They piled into the pick-up and headed out of the parking lot towards George’s house five minutes down the road. After unloading their equipment into the garage all five boys agreed to have a celebration joint. It would be good to calm them down. They passed around the remainder of Dave’s pint as they took turns toking on the bone.
“It’s a good thing I left your mom back at the fucking Gym. Who said it was alright to be getting high in the driveway anyhow?” Mr. Harrison said.
“You want us to get high in the back yard?” Pat asked.
Mr. Harrison replied “No smart ass, just make sure Father Numb nuts doesn’t catch a whiff when you go back.”
“So really how did we do? Was it as good as it felt?” Dave asked.
“You guys did good. Real good, I think you can be the Cinderella story this year. Your rookies so it will depend on how the veteran bands do. You know how the Judges always want to make the seniors happy. It’s so they’ll have fond memories and donate to the alumni association.”
“We better fucking hurry up and get back” said Paul.
“You guys did slaughter that stones tune.”
“We did that one for you. You didn’t like?” asked George
“The crowd seemed to like it but I thought it was sacrilegious. Don’t go trying that with any Beatles song or I’m gonna Cut your mike cables.”
“You and the Beatles, Your just an old hippie. The stones are still rocking and they’re like eighty. Almost as old as you.” George said. He knew this would get his dad going. Mr. Harrison who had made his way down to the drive way to join the boys snuck a toke and sipped his bear.
“The argument my friend is as old as the chicken and the egg. Only let me offer my vantage point. It doesn’t even matter which came first. Either way we enjoy both. Am I right?”
“To eat, not to listen.” Said Pat
Ignoring him Mr. Harrison continued “Chicken can be served so many ways and they are all delicious. The same can be said for eggs. Chicken, however, you eat mostly for dinner. Both are not the same. Eggs on the other hand are usually eaten for breakfast. The Beatles are the eggs and the Stones are the chicken. Both have their own important place on our musical menu.”
“I don’t know if that made sense but I’m fucking hungry, can we stop at Mickey Dees on the way back. I’m getting a chicken club.” Dave said
“Do they serve breakfast all day?” asked Paul.

They all took mints from Mr. Harrison and piled back into the truck. The boys arrived back at the gym in time to miss the band that had followed them. There was only one band left, Gutter Snipe, the battle favorite. The band consisted of all seniors and the band had been together since their freshman year. All five members were respected in the local music scene as good musicians and good guys. It was not easy to hate them unless you were an up and comer trying to get attention from the same fan base of St. Cecilia and the surrounding community. Gutter snipe was favored to win for all of these reasons. The judges consisted of all teachers. Mr. Milne the chemistry teacher and band leader, Mrs. Julian the choir and algebra teacher , Sister Catherine who taught special needs, and Father Sullivan, principal and teacher of all things moral and divine.
“Those fuckers better not win just because they’re graduating this year.” said Paul.
“I have it on good authority that Sister Catherine does not like Tom Parker or John Thompson. So at least sister is a shoe in for us. I hope.” George said.

The crowd was getting restless after about a fifteen
minute sound check, twice as long as any other band. Gutter Snipe had an official following that consisted of roadies and groupies. Deep down every other band in the battle wanted what they had. It made it easier to dislike them. Patrick scanned the audience looking for Natalie. He found her where he figured he would. She was admiring her boyfriend as he tuned his shiny Stratocaster.

They opened with a medley of punk-rock-reggae riffs that put the crowds in a trance and dumbfounded the judges. It made the remaining musicians in the gym remember why they were respected. Without allowing time for the crowd to respond they broke into their harder rendition of A hard days night. All the boys looked back at the Harrison’s. Mr. Harrison was cockeyed and pointing at the stage in approval.
“They’re following our formula those pricks.” John said.
It was his idea to go between classics for the judges and favorites for the crowd.
“Hey it’s a winning formula. Their not idiots. Well just see who does a better job.” said Pat.
“Anyway that other band must have taken forever. It’s almost ten. I would laugh my ass off if Sullivan turned the lights on them.” said Paul.
“They’re doing pretty good, look at all the girls up front.” said Dave.
John replied “They may have girls but they have no guts, they’re gonna play it safe with all covers. That’s gonna work out for us. The judges always give points for original material.”

The Beatle’s song was followed by band introductions. The crowd was yelling out requests. Pat looked around again hoping to spot Natalie. He was surprised to see her looking at him from across the gym at the far end of the crowd. She gave him a quick wink as she disappeared back into the crowd. The next song was an original to their dismay. A hard rocking tune gained momentum and crowd approval as it also made the boys nervous. Gutter Snipe followed with a second original that was a softer Three- Eleven rip-off. Obviously played for their large female following.
“God, I’m going to be sick.” Dave said.
“It’s almost over dude, and we’ll soon be the new reining winner of the battle.” John said.
“No, I’m going to be sick.” said Dave. He sprinted to the bathroom hand over his mouth. Mr. Harrison followed him into the bathroom to take care of him.
“I hope he can stick around till they announce the winner.” said George.
“He’ll get it up and be back in five minutes, your dads on it.” Paul said.
“I was talking about my dad, I don’t know about Dave. He got quiet after our set and he’s been sipping on that bottle for a few hours. If Father Nutcracker sees him puking nobody will be seeing him for a week.” said George.

Gutter Snipe was now in the middle of a beautiful version of Siamese Dream. It was now ten o’clock and that meant that their set would be cut short. The guys all looked at each other as Father Sullivan made his way to the side of the stage. Gutter Snipe played as long as they could but were not allowed to play any longer. Father Sullivan announced that that was it and that he would announce a winner in a few minutes. This was met with a chorus of boos and cheers for more music. All five boys made their way to the bleachers to wait for the announcement.
“Those fuckers better not get a sympathy win because their set got cut short.” said Paul. “I swear they better not win because they’re graduating.”
“I can’t wait for it just to be over so we can stop playing the same damn songs over and over.” said George.
“What the hell do we get if we do win?” asked Pat.
“A pile of cash and an hour alone with Ms. Bleachy” said John. “What do you think we get, we go to St. Cecilia’s’. Were going to get a pat on the back and they’re going to ask us to join the leadership circle or some shit to introduce freshmen to the school.”
A whistle came from across the gym. Mr. Harrison was signaling that he was taking Dave outside.
“Man that sucks, I hope he’s not going home.” said Pat
“Whatever we’ll tell him about it tomorrow. More girls for us.” Paul said.

All the boys were on the edge of their seats. A win at the battle did not mean much for the school. It did mean that people that went in similar circles and partied in particular places would now pay attention. Winning also meant that the summer of practicing in the basement and sacrificing trips to the beach had paid off. It also meant so much more gratification that none of the boys could explain but collectively felt just the same. Pat gave a look around to see if she was still around.

Father Sullivan led the rest of the judges to the stage.
“All right everybody we have had a fantastic time and we thank all the contestants for participating. I would also like to thank all the parents that helped out tonight getting the bands in and out. Now for our winners. In third place is The Batboys… Lets all give a hand to these boys who played very well this evening.”

A few people cheered and someone made a loud fart noise.
“In second place and the surprise of the evening is Jones’ Benefits which means that our winner’s for the third year are Gutter Snipe. Let’s all give a big hand to them and everyone who made tonight come together.”
The crowed screamed and yelled and drowned out whatever else Father Sullivan had left to say. Despite the noise all was quite in the boy’s small corner of the universe. Without exchanging a word they made their way to the front of the gym and out into the parking lot.
“That was Bullshit, I told you they were going to win because they’re seniors.” said Paul.
“Whatever, I don’t even give a shit. We know we’re better than them. Plus they won’t be around much longer anyway.” George said.
“Is that Dave?” Pat asked.
Dave was doubled over next to Paul’s car. At his feet was whatever he had for lunch and breakfast.
“I heard, you guys were robbed.” said Mr. Harrison. “Listen you’ve got to take him home before you do anything. Go in town blow off some steam but don’t be back too late.”
“This is great we loose and now we have to drag his smelly drunk ass across town before we can do anything. I’m shotgun. You two can sit in the back with Chunks.” said George.

Pat and John looked at each other with disgusted looks and simultaneously shrugged their shoulders. They had no other choice. Pat was grabbed by the shoulder and spun around.
“God that’s gross.” Said Natalie “What are you guys doing now? Are you going in town?”
“Why is Gutter Snipe having a party?” asked John
“Yeah but we’re going to Sammie’s for pizza and then who knows.” Natalie said.
Tess drove up in her battleship of a Buick. “Hey George you want to ride with us?” Tess asked.
Without hesitation George jumped into the front seat.
“You want to come wit us too?” Natalie asked Pat.
“Where’s your boyfriend? Is he coming?” asked Pat
“I like Drummers.” She said