All is vanity for the celebrity. |
University of 3/19/07 What's Mattah You? Guest Speaker: Mel Gibson. Mel: Hi! I hope I can answer your questions. Girl: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh(breaks down in tears). Professor Peanut: (giggles)Is it fair to say that Apocalypto has topped The Passion? Mel: Well, The Passion is making over a billion dollars in DVD... But, I am proud of Apocalypto.. it's an entirely different film with great box office returns. Muzzy: Was Jesus gay? Mel: What? Muzzy: He seemed so.... feminine: staying with his mother and bonding so closely with his male friends.(big smile) Mel: (blank stare).... Any other questions? Professor Peanut: (giggles)Is it fair to say you dislike homosexuals? In Brave Heart you had an openly gay man tossed out a window. Mel: (getting red faced) That is the most idiotic.... (press agent whispers into Mels left ear.. Ahem(Mel drinks some water).... I have gay friends and work with the homosexual community... Girl: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh(vomits). Muzzy: Is Patric McGoohan gay? He's never been in a stable relationship with a woman and spends most of his time bonding with men. Mel: No. Professor peanut: (giggling)I've heard that Mr. McGoohan has come out and is openly gay. Mel: (left eye twiches).... Oooooooookey-dokey. Muzzy: Why not make a film about gay men doing heroic things? Mel: I'll look into that....(smiles and waves and quickly exits). Girl: (pees). Muzzy: Mop! Can we have a mop? Professor Peanut: (giggles). Epilogue: Muzzy: Don't be ashamed little girl... Be cheerful. In the noisy confusion of life with all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world......(rings out mop in bucket). Girl: (smiles with braces glissening on teeth and skips away) slop! slop! slop! + |