Alone

Alone

There is a girl, sitting in the midst of a crowd.
In the midst of her family.
Yet, she is alone.
A family, is she really part of it?
Do they care about her?

There’s music playing in the kitchen.
Her mother is doing the dishes.
Her baby sister is crying, chattering incessantly.
She walks in, to make a cup of tea.
Says nothing, nothing is said to her.
Do they care, do they notice?
That she’s not quite right, that there’s so much on her mind, she can’t explain.
That she’s going through tough years.
Dealing with unexplainable emotions.

Or is the problem in her family.
Alone, so alone.
Even in the midst of her family.
In the midst of everything.
Of noise, of those people in the kitchen
Alone, in the middle of everything she can’t escape.
In the middle of where she feels she doesn’t belong.
Alone. Always alone.

Do they notice?
No, she’s just grumpy, they say
Not a word of comfort or understanding.
If one finally is given, can she accept it?
No, how could she?
After all those days, months, years?
Of burying it inside, and guarding her emotions as you would a precious treasure.
Only, it’s not treasure
It is a burden
A burden that will never go away or lessen.
A burden to carry alone.

She’s feels alone, where she knows she should belong.
But she can’t.
They don’t understand
To feel alone in the midst of a crowd.
Is to be alone always, to never belong.
Alone.