Bubble Gum and Machine Guns

         Marryanne kicked her legs aimlessly as she sat on the swing. Her one hand grasped the swing’s thick metal chain as the other gently clutched the doll resting on her lap. She could barely move herself as Marryanne was much too young and her small legs couldn’t even reach the ground beneath her. She had been pushing her friend Emily on the swing; but by the time it was Marryanne’s turn, Emily was called home for dinner. Marryanne was left alone, but sat on the swing determined to have her turn.
         She ran her fingers down the doll’s dress and sifted through its hair. The doll’s eyes were a sharp pale blue that constantly starred out with a sort of lifeless expression. It was an incredibly lifelike doll in all features except the eyes. Instead of those of an innocent baby, the eyes had a hauntingly vicious quality, the stare of a rabid animal as it stalks its prey. It was her doll though, and she loved it nonetheless. She petted her little child as it lay lifeless in her lap. Eventually though, even she could no longer stand its inauspicious stare and she was forced to look away. Then out of the corner of her eye she saw him.

         He was still there.

         Immediately she looked away and threw her gaze down towards her doll. How could this be possible? How could he still be there? She slowly glanced up at the enemy, who she felt, was ready to strike at any moment. She knew this but was unable to move. Her cover was in her calmness. Casually resting on the swing, minding her own business would be her camouflage. Any sudden movements would indicate that she was aware of his intentions. She let her eyes cast about the park as subtly as she could. The sun was setting and there was no one else around. If she ran, he could easily hunt her down and any chance of her survival would be destroyed. For now she had to wait.
         Her eyes rolled upwards again to watch the man. He was well-dressed and his hair was neat and professional. His black shoes glimmered in the setting sun. Marryanne noticed he was also surprisingly young which contrasted with the idea her mother had given her about people like him. He sat so casually, relaxed. one leg crossed over the other. One arm was resting on the bench he was sitting on; the other arm lay comfortably on his lap. His hand spun a set of keys and a key chain around his finger. He had a solemn contented expression on his face as he gently cast his head about here and there appearing to be simply enjoying the outdoors. He would look about like this for some time until he shot a quick glance at Marryanne. His gaze would then resume its natural pattern floating about the park and its surroundings.
         She sighed deeply. This park that had once brought her so much happiness had now held her hostage. Yet it was she who chose to stay in the park. She who had decided her turn on the swing was absolutely necessary. It was she who had unknowingly trapped herself in her own cage. She looked past her doll to the sand beneath her feet. She kicked back and forth desperately trying to reach the ground in an attempt to rock the swing. Her frantic kicks eventually slowed to a halt, and her eyes locked on the glowing sand beneath her feet beautifully lit by the setting sun.
         

         She had not heard or seen anything so the sunset must have caused her to fall into a daze, for the glowing sand beneath her feet was now replaced by two shimmering black shoes. A wave of nausea fell over her, and on this warm summer evening she suddenly felt very cold. The terror rushing though her stiffened every part of her body, and her clenching fingers sank deep into the plastic doll. Her breathing grew heavier. Her eyes kept a cold stare on the plastic child on her lap. She could not look up.
         He did not speak a word. He gently grasped her hand as he attempted to lead her away from the swing. Marryanne’s tiny legs collapsed as soon as her feet hit the ground. She was very pale now and could barely support her own weight. The man knew it would be very difficult for him to have his way with her if she collapsed in a public place like the park so he helped her to her feet and lead her off, almost dragging her away.
         
         He led her through the path in the forest. Her state of panic and terror had made her very ill. Through her blurred vision she had doubts if this was the forest at all. Fleeting memories of her and Emily playing in these woods shot through her mind. These paths used to be familiar to her and her friends; now in her troubled state they felt strange and foreign. The combination of being in the hands of the hunter and the fear of these horrifying woods pressed against her mind till her body could take no more. She fell to her knees and vomited.
         The man moved her aside and gently set her down on the soft forest floor. Marryanne leaned with her back against a tree as her head hung down towards her stomach. The man crouched in front of her and tilted his head as he attempted to look in her eyes. “Are you okay?”, he asked.
         Marryanne could not answer. The fear running through her left her weak and helpless. Her jaw hung loosely. She was unable to utter a word.
         The man let out an almost inaudible sigh and stood up. He picked up Marryanne’s doll and walked a few steps away from her before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a lighter. He carefully set the doll down, put the lighter to its dress and lit it on fire.
         Marryanne heard the spark of the lighter and struggled to pull her head up. As the man walked away from the doll, Marryanne found herself staring into the ferocious eyes of her burning child. The fire quickly ate its way up into the body. The dress flaked off in sheets of glowing ash as the fire enveloped the naked plastic child. Marryanne kept her horrified eyes locked on the doll’s eyes which were now slipping out of their sockets as the doll’s head began to melt and cave in. The fire finally corroded away the left side of the doll’s stomach as it fell over. One eye became trapped beneath the flaming plastic skull which melted and oozed over the eye. The other rolled out of the blazing toy and stopped in front of Marryanne only to stare up at her in fear and distress.
         Marryanne was overwhelmed by a rush of new emotions. Frustration and sadness poured into her innocent mind. Her body seemed to forget that it was sick as she clenched the raw forest dirt. As the colour began to return to her pale face Marryanne began to cry.
         The man rushed over to her and gently placed his hands on her face. “Shhhh. Don’t cry.”
All the fear and anxiety seemed to dissipate from Marryanne’s body as it made room for the sorrow over her lost child. She looked up at the man with teary eyes as he gave her a tender smile and wiped the tears from her face. She sniffled and wiped the rest away. She felt easier about the stranger, seeing him smile towards her; but she could not return the gesture as her beloved doll continued to burn in front of her.
         The man sat down beside her and crossed his legs. “How do you feel?”, he asked.
         Marryanne continued to sniffle and wipe away tears. “Sad”, she replied in a small voice.
         The man nodded his head. “Y’see, this is what they don’t teach you in school.”, he said as he motioned towards the plastic blaze. “That life is full of hate and sadness. I could have raped you, killed you, and left your carcass in a ditch to rot. People would have looked back at your life and said ‘she was too young to die’.” He shook his head, “But I would say ‘no’. What you’re living now, these are your best years. The happiest moments of your life. They go by so fast. You’ll never notice how good life is for you now till it’s too late. You’re born, you live, you see life, and you end up old and alone before you even know what happened.
         Life’s just a breeze. You feel it for a second, then it’s gone. You could be living it up just enjoying yourself and enjoying the simple things that everyone takes for granted. Then one day, out of nowhere, some lunatic runs up with a shotgun and sprays your brains all over a wall. Then you’ll say ‘But I was a good person. I did all my homework, I loved my family, I went church. How could this happen to me?’.”
         He sighed and sat up. “If you died tomorrow, I wouldn’t say ‘She was too young’. I would say ‘good’. It’s better she died when she was young then if she worked all her life, almost got married, almost had a family, spent all her life trying to build something that was just going to burn away in a split second. She wasted all her life instead of enjoying what she had. See, that ‘s the way it works. You have to enjoy every second of the life now, ‘cause who knows what’ll happen tomorrow. All it takes is one sick fuck to pull a trigger, then your whole life just burns up in your face.”. He stared at the ashes of the melted doll which had now burnt out.
         He reached inside his jacket and pulled out his wallet. He took out some money, placed it in Marryanne’s palm and closed her fingers. “That’s for your new doll.”, he said. “But you have to promise me something. You have to promise that you’re going to love it and cherish it as if you were never going to see your doll again. You can’t take it for granted. Because you never know when someone could come along and take your doll away.”
         He flashed another tender smile. “Right?”
         Marryanne looked up at the man. She had never really looked at his face until now. His eyes were a soft blue, and his face was content and pleasing. She was still shocked and somewhat frightened by the whole ordeal, but she could not help but return a smile.

         “Right.”, she replied.

         He stood up and held out his hand. She grabbed it and pulled herself up beside him. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”, he said. She nodded and they left the woods. She held his hand the whole way.


         

         **-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


         

         “Don’t push so hard.”, Emily said as she swang back and forth.
         “I’m not tryin’ to”, Marryanne replied.
         Marryanne put less and less force into her pushes until Emily gradually came to a halt. Emily sat silent for a moment then turned to face Marryanne behind her. “Why d’ya stop?”, she asked.
         Marryanne was silent. Her eyes wandered around the park at the other frolicking children. The sun beamed down as mothers and fathers watched their noisy little creatures as they  interacted with their surroundings. Finally she responded, “’Cause.”
         “’Cause why?”
         Marryanne continued to look around the park until her eyes met with Emily’s. She took Emily’s hand and gently pulled her off the swing. “I wanna show you somethin’, ‘kay?”
         Emily shrugged her shoulders, “Okay.”

         Marryanne led Emily down to the forest and through the path. Emily looked about the woods expecting to see something more than the usual. Having inspected the situation she turned to Marryanne and asked, “What are we doin’ here?”
         “Here”, said Marryanne as she reached towards Emily’s doll. “Can I see it for a sec?” Emily loosened her grip has Marryanne took the doll from her tiny fingers. Marryanne reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of matches which she had found on her way home from school one afternoon. She placed the doll on the ground and lit a match. Emily shrieked.
         With all her force Emily threw her hands forwards and knocked Marryanne to the ground. Marryanne pulled herself up just as Emily let out a terrified scream. The matches had fallen out of Marryanne’s hands and lit the doll’s hair on fire. Instantly the hair vanished off the doll’s head as the fire ate its way into the doll’s skull. Emily raised her foot in an attempt to stop the blaze, but Marryanne hurled herself at Emily and the two of them fell to the ground. Marryanne rolled off Emily and began to sit up. With a sobbing frustrated scream Emily pulled back an open hand and drove it into Marryanne’s face. Marryanne’s head shot back and she quickly hurled herself away from the violent Emily. She crawled a few paces further before she collapsed on her side and covered her bleeding face. Emily sat covered in dirt sobbing at what was now a bubbling mound of fiery plastic.
         Marryanne lay still for some time before she could stop her head from spinning. She felt extremely weak and had trouble swallowing her own saliva. Her view stirred ferociously as she strained to focus on her arm which lay limp in front of her. Desperately trying to move her limbs began to make her severely nauseous and she was forced to stop. She looked past her arm at the obscured mass of colour which she assumed was Emily. She was still positioned in front of the remains of her doll, crying uncontrollably. Her head faced down towards the mound of plastic and she did not move aside from her thundering sobs which shook her tiny body. As Marryanne’s spiralling sight returned to normal, she used what strength she had to lift herself into a sitting position. She found the nearest tree, laid her head back against it and wiped the blood from her face.
         “See, now you’re sad.”, she said.
         



         Emily stopped crying and tried to wipe away her tears. She turned to Marryanne with a disgusted glare. “Course I’m sad!”, she roared in frustration. “You burned my dollie!”
         Marryanne choked for a moment, coughed, then spat out more blood. “See when they tell us that everything is good and happy and stuff,” she started “it’s really not. It’s really like this.”
         Emily stared in confusion for a moment, then shook her head. “Like what?”
         Marryanne pointed lifelessly at the remains of the doll. “Like someone’s burnin’ your dollie.”
         She lifted her shirt to her mouth to wipe away the blood stains which had begun to leave a foul taste. “See, when you you’re growed up, it’s all bad. The bestest times are when you’re a kid. When you’re all growed up, it sucks and you want to go back to when you were a kid and it was all fun but you can’t so you feel sad.”
         She smiled at Emily, “It makes you feel like someone’s burnin’ your dollie.”
         Emily stared solemnly at Marryanne before hanging her head down to fix her eyes on the forest floor. Marryanne was no longer bleeding and felt that she could start to walk. She carefully stood up and limped over to Emily. She delicately took her hands and indicated for her to stand. Emily sniffled and rose to her feet.
         “Sorry I hit you.”, she whispered.
         Marryanne shook her head and smiled, “It’s okay.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out crumpled mass of paper bills. She handed them to Emily, “That’s to buy you a new dollie. And you’ll love it lots more than any one you’ve ever had ‘cause you’ll remember when your dollie got burned”
         “So?”
         “So you’ll love it lots more cause you’ll remember that any time somebody could come and take your dollie away.”
         Emily sniffled and wiped her nose, “Oh.” Suddenly she became very confused. She frowned and pointed at Marryanne’s empty arms. “Where’s your dollie?”
         “That money was for my dollie.”
         “Well, don’t you want it?”
         She shook her head, “No, I don’t think I wanna play with dollies anymore.”          
         “Oh....well...I still wanna.”
         She smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I know.”
         Emily sniffled again and wiped her eyes. Marryanne took her hand and they started along the dirt path. They walked out through the forest, past the park, and through the fence to Emily’s house. Emily said she would ask her Mommy if she could drive them to the toy store. Maybe today she could go and buy her new doll.