It should have been me

As I sit here knife in hand crying in the dark,
alone in a corner wondering why you left.
Why dint you tell me you were feeling the way I do?
Why dint you tell me you felt alone?
That you were dying inside
And that you couldn’t take life anymore
I dint see your pain.
I should have known.
I should have seen the sadness in your eyes.
Me, out of every one I should have seen your pain
Why did you decide to take the easy way?
You should have talked to me
I would have listen and understood.
you’re free you have the freedom I have always wanted.
You did what I couldn’t do.
Now as I sit here knife in hand
I remember the pain you brought to our family
I want to be free like you
but I don’t want other people to hurt like I do
Should I end it like you did ?
Or should I wait and see what life has waiting for me.
I sit here knife in hand thinking it should have been me.