Pain

I don't know if it's just the rain,
or some residual pain.
But fear and insecurites are crowding me today.
Laughter escapes me, jesus why won't it just go away?
Thoughts of never being good enough, smart and all those
things I long to be.
Wondering when I am happy is it only a dream?
Hurting.crying deep inside.
Hoping I'll be the one you want, need, and love this time.
Troubles with our life circle round and round.
Great now here I go again with my moping, and being down.
Never knowing if I'll be hurt again.
I truly hope that this is it, no more pain.
Oh great here we go again because here comes the rain.