The Revenge of Mr. Potato Head

The Revenge of Mr. Potato Head

He firmly grabbed my arm and started pulling. I wanted to scream in pain as the nerve connections started snapping. My eyes wanted to water, but I would not let them. With a quick yank he ripped it out of its socket. The pain was so excruciating that it made me want to faint. My arm was soon laying next to me, completely detached from my body…but I did not bleed.

Next he took hold of my legs and did the same to them. He made short work of my ears and nose as well. Then I felt an ear inserted where my arm should be. Rage boiled inside of me, “Who is this guy??? Is he some kind of brainless, dim-witted moron???” I thought.

I endured the pokes and prods for a few minutes until I was carelessly tossed in a corner, forgotten for now and to be abused another day. I was bruised and deformed, rotting and starting to smell. My life as the original Mr. Potato head would soon be over. Who did the people here think they were, anyways? They think that just because I am a potato that I can be mutilated and mistreated, but I have feelings too. I have endured all of this pain and these hardships, and for what? Their petty amusement? To give them their warped sense of “pleasure”? I am the one who has suffered, yet the little ones get praise from others when they put my face on upside down! How am I supposed to find a nice looking Ms. Potato Head to settle down with if my face is upside down and I have arms sticking out of my butt!?!?

I had honor, pride, and dignity once. I will regain it once again! I will show them not to mess with The Mr. Potato Head! But first I have to put myself back together.

I removed my ear from my side and stuck it on the side of what I have now figured must be my face. I resituated my arms and my hat and found where my other eye had rolled to. The little one playing with me this time at least got where my legs go right. I was able to run over to get my eye without the painstaking hassle of putting my legs back on.

Now I was ready to get my revenge…right…nice and ready…except for the fact that I forgot to make a plan. I had no idea what my revenge would be! How could I cause them enough pain to repay them for all of the tortures they had put me through? I thought for a moment and looked around for ideas. I glanced up at the stove and saw one of the big people standing by a pot with boiling water in it.

PERFECT! That was it! Their food! Get to their food and they will be miserable! But what could I do to it? I recalled one of the big ones talking to a little one about how she hated pepper, and the little one agreed.

My mind was made up. I would show them; I would make them miserable. I was going to do the dirtiest, nastiest, meanest thing that I could do to them…add pepper to their food when they didn’t want it.

An evil laugh almost escaped from my lips, so I took them off. I couldn’t give myself away now. Not when I was so close to my revenge. Now, how could I distract the big one? As if on cue the phone rang in the other room. She walked out of the kitchen and went to answer it.

I had to act fast or my whole elaborate, diabolical plan would be ruined. I climbed with all of my heart and soul and potato to reach the top. I even surprised myself when I reached it as quickly as I did. Now, where was the pepper? I scanned my surrounding area for the pepper. Eventually I found it on top of the part of the oven where you set the time and temperature and whatnot. It was about a third of my size (the pepper, that is) but my mind was focused and I lifted it quite easily. I threw it down next to the active burner and went to retrieve it. Now my next problem arose; how do I get the pepper from down here into the pot? I unscrewed the cap of the pepper shaker and began throwing handfuls up to the rim of the pot. Only a small amount made it into the boiling water. This wouldn’t do, I had to get to the rim of the pot. I looked around for something to use as a ladder r stool to help me out. There was an empty box of seasoning on the counter next to me, so I dragged that over. I set it down next to the pot and climbed up. I had to leave the pepper until I got up and slowly pulled it up. I walked to the edge of the box and peered inside of the pot.

The sight horrified me. It was barbaric! It was insane! She was boiling potatoes!!! I felt sick. I could have almost swore that I turned green and started sprouting leaves, but I could not find any. I threw the pepper in the pot and prepared to leave the house for good just as I heard the lady hang up the phone. I stuck the empty pepper shaker inside of the box and jumped off. I dragged it back to the counter and played dead.

The lady walked into the kitchen and up to the stove.

“What is this Mr. Potato Head doing up here? Oh well, he’s getting old.” What came next was the most terrifying experience I have ever had. She picked me up and stripped me of my face, arms, legs, ears, and even my hat! Then she tossed me in the pot with the rest of my brethren.

I could taste the pepper as I splashed into the boiling water. I would have smiled my last smile if I could have because I knew this had not been in vain. She may have defeated me, but I had won the war. She may boil me alive and eat me, but at least I got to pepper their food. I would have chuckled if I had lips. He who laughs last, laughs best. I peppered their food…