An Angel's Story

The love between mother and son...no matter what happens

Her name was Angel. Though she’s been through many happy memories, she somehow ended up a disaster. Her smile was no longer shining and her eyes vividly changed into a dark atmosphere. She’s tried all she could to make everyone happy, but end up hurting herself. She’s tried to live a better life, but it turned out to be such a painful life. Who is Angel you may ask. Well I’m here to tell you a story...about this person that I loved dearly.

“What do you mean you failed dance class?” A strained yell from Angel’s mother came from the living room.
“I’m sorry; I’m just not good at dancing. It’s not one of my passions,” Angel replied with her head buried in her hands as she sat onto a plastic chair.
“Look at me Angel Kim! Do you know how much money we spent on you for that class? And now you’re telling me you’re sorry?” Angel’s mother screamed at the top of her lungs as her hands fisted on her hips. “Do you expect money to be coming out of your mouth every time you say you’re sorry? Saying sorry won’t help!”
Angel looked up at her mother’s blood red face with steam arising from her head. She was speechless since saying sorry wouldn’t do anything. Her teary eyes just glared into her mother’s furious eyes.
“Now you can’t say anything?” Her mother sighed and looked away for a moment. Then she shot her head back at Angel with her teeth clenched with fury. “And what about your grades? They aren’t all 100%...even 99% isn’t acceptable in this house! WE SPENT MONEY ON YOU ANGEL AND THIS IS WHAT WE GET?”
“Mom, no one is perfect! You can’t get 100% in every single thing.”
Angel’s mother raised her finger and yelled back, “Don’t you dare talk back to your own mother! When I say you need to get 100% on everything, I mean it! Don’t tell me it’s impossible, it’s quite possible!”
Angel saw the tears whelm up in her mother’s eyes, the anger mixed with pain.
“Angel…you understand that we’re very poor, right? We can’t even afford a nice car. All I wanted was you to be the best in school and make me the proudest mother in the world.” Her mother took a moment to gulp as her eyebrows arched together. She continued, “But you can’t even do that, can you? All the money that your father and I spent on you has gone to waste. If you weren’t in this family, we could have that nice car by now.”
“Mom…what are you saying?” Angel’s tone was colored in worry.


Her mother sniffed and released her fisted hands. Angel knew her mother was up to something. The look on her mother’s face wasn’t right.
“You’re forbidden to live in this house now…” she said with exhaustion from yelling. Angel shot her eyes away from her mother and was left jaw-dropped in disbelief.
“What?” she asked.
“Pack your things, I don’t want you in this house anymore, neither does your father.”
“You can’t be serious! This is ridiculous mom!”
“You can’t live up to our expectations; you have no right to live here.”
“Even father agreed to this?”
Angel’s mother tightened her mouth and nodded slowly. Angel felt more tears wounding up in her eyes and she looked onto the ground, shaking her head.
“This can’t be…” She looked back up at her mother, “I’ll get a job soon! I promise! I want to continue my education and help earn money for the family!”
“You know you can’t get a job! You’ve already been rejected countless times, you’re hopeless! I can’t believe I have such a daughter! Such useless daughter!”
Angel’s face tightened and she started to whimper when those words traveled out of her mother’s mouth.
“Do you really hate me so?” she questioned. Her mother spoke no words. Angel nodded, finally accepting the fact that she had no other choice but to leave. “Fine…I’ll move out of this house…if that’s really what you want. If that makes you happy…I’ll escape from your life. Forget me; I’m just your worthless daughter. I’m already eighteen; I can take care of myself.” Tears streamed down Angel’s pale cheeks, she knew the words that she spoke were only hurting her own self.
“Go…go now, I don’t want to see you anymore,” her mother whispered as she stared onto the wall. Angel slowly rose up from the chair and slumped up the wooden cracked stairs.

Angel’s jet-black hair ran down to her shoulders and her bangs ran across her forehead. Her eyes gleamed coffee brown and her face was round and sharp. Her bangs shifted side to side as she walked towards the front door. The handle was broken and the top of the door had a couple holes in it from termites. Her house was like an old abandoned cabin that you’d usually find in the woods. Angel glanced behind her for a last look at her childhood house. It was dark, lonely, and the atmosphere was cold.
“I’m leaving mother…” Angel choked out but there was no reply. She hung her head down as she opened the door that made a loud creaking sound. The small rolling suitcase rumbled the ground and the keychain on her handbag jingled. The house was now deserted by Angel.

Angel’s ponytail shifted side to side as she traveled down a cement sidewalk. The sides were decorated with pine trees and the roads were busy with zooming cars. Angel walked in silence with all the noisy sound blocked from her ears. Her mind carried too many hurtful memories; even school was a terrible memory to keep; because that’s where she fell in love for the first time.

His name was Michael. Angel’s first love and it wasn’t long before she turned eighteen. Angel sat in the middle of the classroom as she stared onto the beautiful silky black hair of Michael. He sat right in front of her and he was known as the smartest guy in the class. Angel was often memorized by his unique face and cherry lips. Usually, he’d help her out on class work and talk to her during lunch. But when did Michael fall in love with Angel? It’s when Angel was brave enough to step up for her classmate who was being bullied.

“This girl owes me money! What do you think you are doing missy? You want to be involved too?” The buff guy tightened her jaw and lifted his head up. Angel’s arms were spread out in front of her classmate, protecting her from any hurt.
“If this girl owes you money, that doesn’t involve violence! She said she’d pay you back, can’t you wait just a bit more?”
“Wait?” The guy’s voice started to sound very impatient. “I’ve waited a month missy…$100 shouldn’t be that hard to pay up.”
“She’s working really hard on her job to earn that much money! Please give a little more time!” Angel begged as the classmate behind her nodded with fear.
“Who do you think you’re messing with?” The bully stepped up closer to Angel. Angel could feel her veins shivering inside, but still, she didn’t back away.


Michael admired the courage in Angel’s heart and shook his head in laughter. He walked up to the bully and tapped his shoulder.
“Alright, alright, enough fighting. I’ll pay you the $100 now, okay?” Michael reached into his pocket and reached out cash. He placed it on the bully’s hand and smiled gently. “Satisfied?”
The bully glared back at the classmate, “Just take it that you’re lucky this time. Next time I’ll punch your guts out.” He spit onto the ground and trotted away. Angel kept her stare onto the bully and let out an aggravated sigh. She turned her angry stare onto Michael.
“And you…you think you’re so rich huh? You can just reach out of your pocket all this money and solve everything? Ridiculous…” She pouted. Michael laughed and Angel shot her eyes back at him. “What’s so funny?” she growled. Michael poked her forehead with a shining smile.

“You’re so cute you know that? I just helped your friend out, if you’re angry about it; then tell your friend to pay me back, but she can take as long as she wants.” Michael laughed once more and walked away with his hands dugged into his pockets. Angel let out a disbelief scoff and rolled her eyes. The classmate behind her tapped her and said, “Thank you so much Angel, you’re a sweetheart for stepping up for me. But…I promise I’ll pay that guy back.”
“No, don’t pay him back, just let him waste that $100 since he’s so cool and rich…”
“I have to pay him back! I need to thank him too.”

Angel sighed and bloated her mouth.
“Okay, do whatever you want, it’s none of my business,” she replied. Angel looked at Michael again, even though she could only see his back walking away, she still felt her heart thump. Her angered look fell to a relieved smile and her eyes glittered with love.


Though the two of them may have fallen in love…it led to disaster. It was the disaster that changed Angel’s life forever. Angel was invited to a night party, in which she sneaked out of her house to attend. But what she didn’t know was what lied ahead of her. The hosts of the party were a couple guys from her classes and they served alcohol drinks in which they stole from their parent’s fridge. The party was noisy and crowded; the music blasted and vibrated the rooms.

“Have a drink!” Michael came and sat next to Angel on a leather couch. Angel stopped looking at the disco ball and looked at the alcohol bottle in Michael’s hand.
“We’re only 17…I don’t think we’re supposed to drink…” Angel said unsurely.
“Come on, breaking just a small rule, no biggie,” Michael insisted.
“I don’t think I’m a good drinker…”
“It’s okay, just try it, it’s really good.” Michael shoved the bottle in front of Angel’s face. Angel gave in and took the bottle, popped the cap and took a small sip.
“Good?” Michael questioned. Angel nodded and drank a couple more sips.
The next thing she knew was that she woke up from her bed the next morning. Her head throbbed and she couldn’t remember a single detail that happened the other night. She felt nauseous and dizzy and often sick. Her dancing skills were way off and she couldn’t focus on her work anymore. And so she went to the doctor to find what was wrong…the result shocked her.

Angel kept walking on the sidewalk until she stopped in a park, where she discovered a familiar face. The keychain stopped jingling and the rolling of the suitcase stopped vibrating the ground. The breezes blew across Angel’s bangs.
“Michael…” she whispered breathlessly from her sobs. Michael looked up, paused walking, and his expression tightened. He bit his lips and looked away for a second as he continued to walk. Michael was about to walk past Angel until she grabbed his arm.
“Michael…” she whispered once more with her eyes fixed onto the ground. Michael stood silent.
“Why aren’t you talking?” Angel blinked several times waiting for an answer. Finally, Michael spoke. “Do you want to tell me something?”
Angel swallowed hard and nodded cautiously.
“What is it?” Michael inquired.
“That night-” Angel started but Michael immediately cut her off with an impatient tone.
“That night meant nothing.” Michael pulled his arm away from Angel’s grasp.
“But-“
“Angel…” Michael turned face to face with Angel with a sigh. “It was a mistake. The whole night. I’m sorry if you misinterpreted what we did. But I have no feelings toward you anymore. Can we pretend nothing happened?”
“I can’t…”
“Why not?”
Angel’s eyes shifted back and forth, not sure what she should say.
“Do you still like me? Because if you do, then try to forget me. I simply have no feelings whatsoever towards you anymore. I’m-“
“I’m pregnant,” Angel snapped.
Silence.
Michael gleamed into Angel’s eyes with complete disbelief and his mouth hung open speechless.
“W-w-what?” He stammered.
“The doctor told me.”
“W-w-when?”
“A week after that night.”
Michael sighed deeply and bit his lip hard. He placed his hands on the side of his head as his head was mixed in confusion.
“What are you going to do?” he asked Angel.
“I…I was hoping…you’d help me raise the child.”

Michael immediately shook his head without thinking.
“No…I can’t do that.”
“Why can’t you?”
“Angel! I still have college to go to! I can’t take care of a child! For heaven’s sake who do you think I am? I’m not even sure I want to be a father yet!”
“How am I going to raise a child by myself now? I mean, I don’t even have a home now,” Angel stated with shivers running up and down her spine. Michael looked at her suitcases. “You got kicked out?”
Angel couldn’t reply for the answer was quite obvious. Michael scoffed and shook his head.
“You know what; I’m not even going to discuss this matter with you. Pretend I don’t even exist; pretend we never knew each other.” Michael started to walk away in a fast pace. Angel made a quick diversion behind her and yelled out, “MICHAEL!” Michael wouldn’t turn his head.

“MICHAEL!” Angel yelled a second time but still, he kept walking. “HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO RAISE IT ALL BY MYSELF?” Angel could hear the unsteady tone of her own voice. All she could do now was worry and sob, though she knew, tears wouldn’t help anything. It was up to her to take care of herself and her baby…she could only pray that everything will somehow get better.

Six years later…

It was a very rough five years to live through. But somehow Angel managed to put up with her troubles. She found a nice job at a bakery shop and she lived in a room in the back of the store. She helped cleaning and taking the job at the register. The employees were kind to Angel, knowing what troubles she had to go through. The room had a wooden desk with only one drawer, a small twin sized bed and a shelf the size of a mini refrigerator. The walls were still unfinished and you could see the pipes sticking out. Occasionally rats would scurry out to find some food and bugs would run across the floor. But to Angel, the room was very cozy and nice to live in. Occasionally, Angel would go to a doctor for checkups. Since the doctor was a good friend of Angel’s from school and understood how Angel was poor and had a son, she got the checkups for free.

Her son, John, was six and an intelligent child. At times, the employees of the bakery shop would educate him on some math and reading. Angel thanked them for their wonderful generosity and sent them sweet grins.

“Hey John…” Angel bent down and her large eyes gleamed at her child.
“Yes mommy?” John replied with a gentle voice.
“Want to go to the park today?” Angel caressed John’s soft cheeks and patted his smooth hair which was the same color as his father’s.
“Okay!” John yelled with glee, jumping up and down, and showed the dimples in his smile. Angel let out a gentle chuckle and raised her hand up. John took her hand and held her tight. “Go, go, go!” John wildly hopped in the air.

John resembled his father a lot, the silky black hair, the small squinty eyes, and the cherry lips. He swung on the swings, tilting his head side to side as he looked birds fly across the cloudless sky.
“Fly birdie fly!” He giggled and he swung his legs. “Mommy, I want to be a birdie.”
Angel laughed and nodded. “Okay, mommy promises you will be a birdie when you grow up.”
“Fly, fly, fly!”
Angel looked at her son’s cheerful face; she couldn’t help but smile too. Though John didn’t have any friends, or have a lot of toys, he was still such a positive boy.
“Mommy! I want ice cream!” John requested. Angel walked to the swing and held the swing to a stop.
“Maybe another time okay? Mommy still has to work.”
John puckered his lips and nodded. “Okay…”
“Good boy.” Angel pinched John’s clubby cheeks and left a couple red marks.
“Ow, that hurts.” John put both of his hands on his cheek and rubbed it.
“Oops, sorry.”
John stopped rubbing and cupped his hands together. “It’s okay! It hurt only a little.” he said. Angel let out a small chuckle and took John’s hand.
“Let’s go.” John hopped out of the swing and swung his hand back and forth with his mom. He skipped across the road with her and into the bakery shop.

In the bakery shop, Angel’s eyes widened when she saw the man who was sitting at one of the tables. Her grip with John loosened and John looked up at her.
“Mommy?” he asked confused. The man looked up from the newspaper and glared at Angel. He didn’t smile, he didn’t frown; his expression was stone faced.
“Long time no see,” he began. Angel patted John and said, “Go to our room, mommy has to do her work.”
“But I always watch you work.”
“Um…I think you need some rest right now.”
“But I’m not sleepy!”
“John…” Angel’s voice tightened. John looked down and started trotting away. “Okay mommy…” he said quietly. As soon as John’s back faded into the back of the bakery, Angel sighed deeply and focused back on the man.
“Michael, what are you doing here?” her voice immediately turned monotone.
“That’s the welcome I get after such a long time?”
Angel rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
“Oh, I’m sorry, “Angel sarcastically began, “Oh Michael! You’re here! I’m so happy to see you again!”
“That would’ve been great except without that kind of tone,” Michael joked.
“Enough fooling around; tell me what you’re doing here. Are you trying to make fun of my life?”
“Actually, I’m here to claim what’s mine.”
“What’s yours? What are you talking about?”
“My child.” Michael crossed his arms and tilted his head. The scrunches of his leather jacket filled the atmosphere. Angel scoffed and walked over to Michael as she pounded his table.
“YOUR CHILD?” She raised her voice.
“If you don’t mind, keep your voice down, it’s disturbing to the employees.”
“You know Michael, you are soooooooooo funny. After six years, you say you want your child now? I thought you didn’t want to be a father, I thought you didn’t want to be a part of my life, I thought you didn’t exist!”
There was a clink of glasses behind the counter where an employee glared at them with a weird expression.
“Don’t make a fool of yourself Angel, people are around, they can hear you.”
“I’M NOT THE FOOL HERE. YOU ARE. JOHN IS MY CHILD AND YOU CANNOT BE A PART OF HIS LIFE.”
Michael stood up and the chair created a loud screech across the marble floor.
“I’M HIS FATHER!”
“I DON’T CARE! YOU LEFT HIM FOR SIX YEARS AND SUDDENLY YOU WANT HIM?”
“I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF HIM! LOOK AT YOURSELF ANGEL! YOU’RE POOR, WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR JOHN? CAN YOU TRULY MAKE JOHN HAPPY?”
Angel clenched her fists and felt the stinging of tears arising in her eyes. Yes she was poor, but…without John, she wouldn’t be happy.
“See Angel?? You can’t make John happy, You can’t do anything for him. Your own child, Angel! This is for your own child’s sake! Look at yourself. You’re as skinny as a twig now. You look sick.”
“No…”
“Excuse me?”

Angel’s head was hung down and her bangs covered the sight of her eyes, though you could see the tear drops falling onto the ground.
“No, you can’t have John. Even though I’m poor, I can still make him happy!” Angel rose her head up with bloodshot eyes.
“Stop lying to yourself Angel.”
“I’m not. I can make John happy!”
Suddenly Michael slapped Angel and screamed, “COME TO YOUR SENSES ANGEL! YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING FOR JOHN!”
Then there was a cry from a distance. Angel looked up, seeing John sitting in the corner, watching them. His face scrunched up as tears flooded down his cheeks.
“Why did you hit mommy?” His cry roared louder and his face turned red. “Why did you hit mommy! Why did you hit mommy! Mommyyy…”
Angel ran over to pick John up as she wiped his tears away.
“It’s okay, mommy’s okay, don’t cry. Don’t cry anymore, mommy’s okay,” Angel sobbed. She held John in her arms and bounced him lightly up and down as John rested his head onto her shoulders, still crying. Angel cupped her hand onto his head and turned to Michael.
“Leave us. Leave us alone. You don’t deserve to be his father.”
Angel left into the back before Michael could say another word. Aggravated, Michael walked out the bakery shop with fury in his footsteps.

“Don’t cry anymore John, everything is okay now.” Angel kept wiping away the tears and John’s cry slowly came to a stop.
“Mommy okay?” He whimpered as he rubbed his eyes.
“Yes, mommy is fine.” Angel let out a relieved sigh.
“Why mommy get hit?”
“Well…someone doesn’t like mommy a lot. So they got mad.”
“Why someone don’t like mommy? Mommy is the best.”
Angel smiled widely and poked John’s nose. “Of course mommy is the best.”
“I’m always right.” John tilted his head as he swung his legs back and forth.
“Yes, John is always right,” Angel answered.

The next day, suddenly, the atmosphere felt odd. Nobody talked to Angel, and nobody offered to educate John. The employees took a glance at Angel and scoffed as they walked away from her. Was it because of the fight yesterday…but…only one employee heard me yell…Angel puzzled in her mind.

When Angel was cleaning the tables; an employee with curly hair, wrinkled skin, and big bags under her eyes, came up to Angel with a furious complaint.
“Who do you think you are? What kind of mother are you?”
“What?” Angel asked in confusion.
“How DARE you take the child away from the father!”
“What? I didn’t take away-“
“I saw the father yesterday and you both were yelling! He came to talk to me personally and said that because he was a bad father, you stole John away from him!”
“That’s not true! Come on, we’ve known each other for five years, you’ve seen John grow up with me!”
“But to face the fact, the father was right. You can’t raise John, you’re too poor. John can’t grow up happily. You should hand over your son.”
“I-“
“End of discussion, WORK!”
Angel held the wet towel in her hand, watching the lady walk away. All the employees shot an evil eye at her. No one believes me…Angel felt the inside of her heart crying.

“Why does everyone not like mommy?” John frowned as he held onto his mom’s arm.
“What?” Angel turned to look down at her son.
“Someone mad again today…”
Angel continued walking on the sidewalk as her flowery dress was fluttering to the side. Her bag dangled side to side from her arm and her sneakers squeaked in every step.
“Oh…that…mommy just did something wrong in her job.”
“Mommy never does something wrong. Mommy is number one in her job!”
Angel weakly smiled.
“No one is perfect.” Angel paused walking and bent down to face John in the eye. She held his hands tightly and said, “You must know that John. Nobody is perfect. So if anyone ever makes fun of you, you must ignore them.”
John nodded quickly. Angel rose up to her feet and continued to walk until she spotted a chocolate store.
“Do you want chocolate John?”
John shook his head.
“You should get chocolate Mommy. Chocolate makes you happy. John buy mommy chocolate okay?”
Angel laughed and patted John’s head.
“It’s okay, mommy doesn’t need chocolate. Are you sure you don’t want any?”
John shook his head. Just as Angel was about to keep walking, a person grabbed her bag and ran.
“HEY!” Angel screamed and chased the person. But before she could even run ten feet, she felt a severe back pain; she stopped and turned to John. He stood by the chocolate store, with fear in his eyes. Angel’s hair flowed in the air as she watched John stand there.
“Mommy? Don’t leave me…” John whimpered when he started to cry. Angel ran back to John and held his head.
“Don’t cry John, Mommy wasn’t going to leave you.”
John sniffed and rubbed his eyes as he held onto his mom’s gentle hands.
“I wanna go home,” he complained. Angel nodded and guided John back to the bakery shop.

“What did doctor say today mommy?” John asked.
“John...if mommy doesn’t buy you a lot of things, will you be sad?” Angel lied on the bed as John crouched beside her. He shook his head.
“Mommy is here. John will always be happy.”
Angel smiled as her tears fell to the side of her eyes and across her ears.
“Don’t cry mommy.”
Hearing those words come out of John’s mouth hurt Angel even more. John took his mother’s bony hand and rested his head on it. His shining eyes looked at his mother.
“Why is mommy crying?”
Angel took a large breath, unable to speak well. She hoarsely replied,
“Mommy is sad.”
“Why is mommy sad?”
Angel’s head felt dizzy and the tears on her face were drying. She put her hand on her burning forehead.
“Mommy is a little sick…and tired. Nobody believes mommy, everybody hates her. Mommy is poor and can’t afford anything nice. Mommy is very hurt. Nobody really loves mommy.”
“But I love mommy.”
Angel looked at John with her flooded eyes.
“Thank you, John. Thank you for being with me. You’re the only one that’s keeping me alive. But mommy…is living such a hard life. I don’t know how you can be happy.”
“If mommy don’t leave, then John always happy.”

Angel tried to laugh, but only whimpers were choked out.
“I’m sorry John. I can’t give you anything more but my love.”
John didn’t reply, he only looked at his mother’s red eyes.
“I know you can’t understand well, but in the future, you will. I want you to be with mommy forever and mommy wants to be with you forever. But…I don’t think it’s possible.”
“I wanna be with mommy forever!”
“John….John….” Angel took her sons hands and held it with an iron grasp. “Mommy lost some money. Mommy is poor. Mommy doesn’t have enough money to help you if she keeps living this way. Everyone has turned against her, mommy feels hopeless.”
“Mommyyy….”
“Listen to me John.” Angel couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “I love you. I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you. Mommy won’t ever forget you and you can’t forget mommy either. I’ll always be your mommy, even if I’m not beside you.”
“Mommy always by me!”
“Mommy can’t be with you forever.”
“WHY MOMMY?” John had a shiver in his voice.
“John…I know you still can’t understand but…I don’t think mommy can support you anymore.”
“Mommy leaving?” John’s face scribbled a frown and his eyebrows arched together in sadness. Tears were winding up in his small eyes.

“No, no, no, no….mommy will always be here. No matter what, mommy is always here.” Then Angel put her hand on John’s heart. “Mommy will always be here, in your heart.”
John couldn’t reply, he couldn’t understand what his mother was trying to get across.
“Just remember, mommy is here. Mommy will never leave you, promise.”
“Promise?”
“Promise…”
“Mommy…why you say these things?”
“Because…because I just wanted to let you know…mommy really loves you.”
“I know mommy loves me because I love mommy too. Mommy will never leave me because mommy loves me. No matter what, mommy will always be here with me because mommy loves me. I love mommy because mommy loves me.”
Angel’s purple lips tightened into a straight line across her face as more tears drew down her pale face. She nodded, “Yes, mommy loves you.”

Angel and John crouched down to the only window they had in their room. The moonlight shone through and reflected off both their eyes. They stared into the night sky where the stars twinkled and danced.
“Isn’t it beautiful John?”
“Yes, the moon is shiny.”
Angel tried to smile but behind her smiles were aches. The two sat in silence, watching the calm outside sky.

“Mommy, this time I tell you bedtime story okay?” John whispered as he rested beside his mom on the small bed. His pajamas were blue and decorated with little tigers chasing each other around. Angel nodded and whispered back, “That would be nice…”
John began, “Once upon a time, there was an angel looking over the world.” John flipped onto his back and stared at the ceiling as he told the story. Angel lied on her side, looked at John with her gentle eyes as her bangs fell to the side. More and more tears streamed to down across her nose and below her eyes.

“…the princess said she wanted to marry prince. Angel said princess have to do something good. Princess say okay and give someone flowers. Angel said ‘okay princess, you can marry now.’ Angel POOFED” John clapped his hands together as he bloated his mouth when he said ‘poof’ “… a prince for the princess. Princess happy. They marry and they live happily ever after.” John flipped back to his side, looking at his mom’s teary eyes again.
“Uh oh, was my story sad?”
Angel shook her head weakly. “No, it was a beautiful story John, thank you.”
“Yay! Tomorrow mommy tell me story okay?”
Angel closed her eyes and whispered without energy, “Okay…”
John took his mother’s cold pale hand. “Mommy’s hand is cold, John help warm it up.” He breathed into his mother’s hand and rubbed it.

“Thank you…” Angel said.
“Okay mommy, time to sleep. Tomorrow another day for mommy!”
Angel stopped her tears and grinned. “Yes, another day.” John squirmed his body under the blanket, still holding onto his mother’s hand.
“Good night mommy.”
Angel kept smiling with her eyes closed and John gently closed his eyes too.
“Good night John,” Angel murmured.

John opened his eyes, with his hands still in his mother’s grasp. He pulled out his hand, sat up and stretched his arms in the air as he yawned loudly. He smacked his lips together with his half-asleep eyes.
“Mommy, time to get up!” John cheerfully said as he shook his mom. Angel didn’t budge. “Mommmyyy…wake up! No more sleepy!” He shook her once more but she didn’t move. No matter how loud he called ‘mommy’ or how hard he shook her, Angel didn’t open her eyes. An employee heard John yelling and ran into the room. Angel was no longer breathing, her body was freezing cold and her face was dead pale. John fell to tears.

“Why isn’t mommy waking up?” He questioned with worry. The employee wasn’t sure how to answer the six year old boy.
“John, I’m sorry…your mom...she…she’s going to be sleeping for a while.”
“NO! Mommy wake up now! I don’t want to go anywhere without mommy! Mommy said she always be with me! Mommy promised!”
“John-“
“I WANT MOMMY!” John’s tears kept falling, waiting for his mom to sit up and say “everything is okay, mommy is okay,” and waiting for his mom to wipe away his tears like always. But no matter how long or how loud he was crying, none of his hopes raised. Angel didn’t sit up. Angel didn’t wipe away his tears. Angel didn’t say “everything is okay.” Angel didn’t do anything. She kept lying there…motionless.

She’s tried all she could to make everyone happy, but end up hurting herself. She’s tried to live a better life, but it turned out to be such a painful life. Who is Angel you may ask. Well I’m here to tell you a story...about this person that I loved dearly.

I’ve told you the story now. Even recalling this story, make me ache. Writing about Angel hurts because I loved her. My name is John, John Kim. And Angel was my mother, the person that always held me close and loved me with all her heart. Now I understand…what she was trying to tell me at that time. I was a burden to her, yet she still took me in as her child and kept me close. She was pressured so much and very lonely, yet she never really gave up, she tried to keep going and to help me be happy.

Because of me, because of my existence, because I ended up in her tummy, she got breast cancer. Now that I look back, I realize why she was always so thin, so pale, and always having physical pain. There is no need to tell what happened after her death, because my life takes on a different road. I only wrote this story…because I love my mother, and she loves me. Even though I don’t see her now, I’m sure she’s right beside me at this moment, watching me write this story about her. I know she is smiling at me.
So many times, I want to hug her and say “mommy” again. Maybe, if I bought that chocolate, mommy wouldn’t have been sick anymore. Yes, that’s impossible but…if I knew mom was sick, at that time I would’ve gotten her chocolate everyday, hoping she wouldn’t be sick anymore.

Angel…my mother…is now truly an angel. She has made heaven more beautiful. Now I sit here, closing up the story, and crying as I think about all the happiness my mother has given me. My mind is still at when I was six, still waiting for mom to wake up and waiting for her to tell me the next bed time story.

Thank you Mommy.

I Love you.