Timmy the Gerbil's Right of Passage

Timmy the Gerbil's Right of Passage



The other day I stumbled upon surveys that suggested 27% of all gay males stick gerbils up their anus through a pvc pipe. It appeared in the result of the survey that the other 73% had contemplated the idea or had little to no objection to gerbil-anal insertion.



So let's take a look at what the benefits are of sticking a gerbil in your pooper. That's right, I know of no benefits to this particular procedure. So I will just make some up, for shits and giggles, no pun intended. Apparently I assume that it's more of a right of passage for the gerbil than a pleasurable stimulant for the human host. Really why would anybody in their right mind insert a rodent into their ass for any other purpose. So perhaps they are actually doing God a favor by strengthening the will and fortitude of gerbils across this great nation. But where does the pvc pipe come into play? That's right! The gerbil doesn't want to go in there. They have to force the brave little rodent into the rectal cavity, prison of ass, if you may.

Lets take a little imaginary journey in the first-person perspective of the gerbil.



Timmy the Gerbil: Today I was taken from the only home I ever knew. Away from all 300 of my siblings, the survivors that my papa did not eat alive. I find myself in a strange place, a string has been tied to my tail. For what reason, I do not know. However, it surely cannot be good. Woah, I am flying, flying through the air. What's this? A giant tunnel, holy crap it stinks. The smell is horrendous. The smell reminds me of…POO. Oh my god! Oh no, oh no!... (silence)



This story is not uncommon at all. I share it with you today to hopefully persuade any more immoral acts against the gerbils. We will include any small rodent or animal capable of being inserted into the rectum. A giant umbrella if you may, to protect the animals from this travesty. Please, remember the story of Timmy the gerbil the next time you go to force/rape a poor little rodent.