One Step At A Time

I felt his sweaty rough hand cover my mouth as i screamed louder and louder in pain. I heard the bed moving in a rhythmic motion. Everything seemed to be moving slow. I could feel his hot breath on my neck. He moved faster and faster and dug himself deeper inside of me. Everytime he moved I felt my body becoming more and more weak. It hurted so bad. I wanted him to stop, but he wouldn't get off of me. Everytime I scratched his back or tried to bite him, he seemed to like it. He just wouldn't stop. After about ten more minutes, I gave up on fighting it. Maybe mommy was right. If i really loved her I would do anything for her. Seconds later, he lifted his body up off of me, and rolled over next to me. I placed my hands over my chest and stared at the ceiling. He got up and pulled up his pants. Mommy walked into the room. She smiled at him like he was some kind celebrity.
" Damn you wasn't lying lil mama got some good ass shit, But next time don't try to flash some pussy in my face so you don't have to pay me bitch"
He smacked mommy hard on her face. She dropped to the ground and pulled her knees into her chest. She sat there and rocked like she always did when she was happy about something. She shot a look at me, then crawled over to the bed.
" See baby, It wasn't that bad. You love mommy don't you? and you would do anything for mommy right?"
I knodded my head yes as she pulled the white stained cover over my body. I layed there wondering why would mommy let that man hurt me. My hair was all over the place and I was sweating really bad. It hurted so bad when I tried to close my legs I wanted to cry. Mommy stroked my soft hair and hummed that song she hummed every night to me. I slowly closed my eyes and fell asleep.
" Ring, Ring Ring" I heard the alarm clock go off. I woke up sweaty and panting. I hate having nightmares they drive me crazy. I looked at the clock.
" Damn it's six already? "
I didn't want to go to school today. Maybe my dad won't wake up like usual. I pushed the snooze button then turned on my side. This was the third time this week I had this dumb ass dream. I was so pissed I decided to just get up. I walked down the hallway and into the bathroom. I turned on the faucet. I splashed the cold water onto my face. It sent chills throughout my body. I began to brush my teeth and wash my face.
" Hurry the fuck up I gotta work! "
I heard my dad yell at me. He banged on the door almost breaking it down. I rolled my eyes and finished brushing my teeth. I went to open the door and POW my head almost turned to my back. I fell to the floor and almost hit my head on the side of the tub.
" When I say hurry the fuck up that's what I mean "
He kicked me in my stomache and pushed me out of the bathroom. I layed outside of the bathroom door for a few minutes. I heard him throwing up. That only meant one thing.
" The bastard must've been drunk last night"
I rubbed the side of my face and got up. I walked back into my room and closed the door. I went into the closet to get my uniform out for school. After getting dressed and doing my hair, i sat on the bed wondering what i would eat. I knew there wasn't anything down there. I grabbed my bookbag and my I.D.
" I'm leaving!"
I yelled to my dad. I heard him snort and then spit into the toilet. He turned on the faucet water.
" Whatever "
I shook my head. I walked downstairs, unlocked the front door, and stepped out into the real world. I heard the first period bell when i stepped into the small building. It was weird. How in the hell did i get into a smart people school? I asked myself that same question everyday. I pushed my way through the door. Once again it was a long line for the metal detector. Three girls busted infront of me. One turned around and rolled her eyes at me, daring for me to say something back. I looked down at the floor. " Bitches " I said to myself. I wanted to punch her in the face so bad. I seen my second period teacher Mr. Miller walk up the steps. He shook his head at me.
" Late again Ms. Turner? "
I cracked a fake smile. I always thought he was a pervert, he just smiles too much. The line started to get shorter and shorter. I placed my things onto the scanner then stepped through the metal detector.
" Good morning Ms. Turner "
said Ms. Randell. She sat at the I.D scanner every morning. I grabbed my things and scanned my I.D. I began rushing to class. People were moving so slow, I didn't want to bump into anyone but I began feeling like i had no choice. I ran up the two flights of steps. I slowly walked into Ms. Polite's room. She was standing up infront of her little file cabinet reading from her teachers math book like usual. " Ms. Turner come in through the other door " " Damn it " I said to myself. I walked through the other door and took my seat in the back of the class. I hated this class, and this school. Everyone was just so mean. It was like the whole school had something against me cause i got picked on the most. " Move your head " I felt a smack on my neck. I knew who that could be. Mariah Daniels. God she was such a bully. I scooted my desk over. I turned around and looked at her. She was too pretty to be so evil. Her hair was long, black and silky. It sat right on her shoulders. Her eyes were light brown which twinkled everytime she smiled. She looked like she was mixed with something. Indian maybe. She gave me a mean look then rolled her eyes at me. I couldn't focus in class today. I think it was that dream. Just thinking of it made me want to throw up. " Ms. Turner stay with us please " snapped my teacher. I faced the front of the room. I pulled out my notebook and my fuzzy top pen and began to write:
Alone
{Alone in a world where dreams may come true
Where grass is green and skies are blue
Where love and passion fills the air
Where lovers love without a care
Where families and friends stick together
In any kind of bad weather
This world i live in, Where is my place in it
Im just so alone, Im in a looking glass
My time is about to run out
And then it hits me, Im not dreaming anymore
This is real life}
" Ms. Turner!! " Yelled my teacher. I slammed my notebook shut.
"Yes?"
" Stay with us please "
" I'm sorry"
" I just bet you are "
She rolled her eyes and finished reading from her book.
" Hey dumbass, lemme hold your pen"
Mariah whispered to me as she poked me in the back. I ignored her
" Dumbass i said let me hold that pen "
She poked me harder on the back. I started to ball up my fists.
" No i need it "
" No? "
She said puzzeled. She was silent for a few seconds. I wondered what she was doing.
" Yes Ms. Daniels? "
" Ms. Turner has my pen and she won't give it back "
My jaw dropped. " That skank " i said to myself
" But..But"
" Give her the pen Ms. Turner..I don't know what's wrong with you today but its going to cause you to get kicked out of my room. One more thing from you and your out of here! "
I handed Mariah the pen. She chuckeled. I wanted to cry. Why does she have to be such a bitch.
Ring Ring Ring!!
Thank god it was the second period bell. I had to go to advisory. I hated walking down the hallways. That's when i got pushed and shoved and called bitch the most. I walked into Mr. Elliotts room and sat in the back. I pulled out my notebook and a different pen. I began reading over my poems. " Oh my God why is she back here..sorry but that seat is taken Tiana is sitting there " Serena looked at me and then pointed at the seat next to Ronald. He was the quiet type. Never talked. I sucked my teeth and got my stuff. Today she wore the pretty white scarf on her head. She was muslim but i forgot what they were called. " Better had " I heard her say after Tiana sat down. I sat next to Ronald. He was tapping his pencil on his desk like he always did. I couldn't stand her. She was so mean. I turned around and watch them giggle and laugh like they always did. I pulled out my pen and my book and began to write:
{Where Am I?
Where Do I go? I don't even know
Why can't I see, This just can't be
The pain is hurting more and more everyday
Someone please take this pain away
The dreams, The nightmares, The fantasies all wrapped into one
But the pain and the agony it all just begun
I still have more to deal with i just can't bare
It makes me want to rip out my hair
Tear out my eyes, cut out my heart
Why is me and happiness so far apart?}
" Ms. Turner!"
I hear Mr. Elliott yell out my name for attendence.
" Here " I say in a sad dreary voice. Lucky enough he was standing right infront of me so i didn't have to shout. I hate this advisory. It's the worst period of all. I have to sit all by myself and watch everyone else talk and have fun. Why can't I just for once have a friend. Someone tapped me on my shoulder, I turned around startled by it. It was Bianca. She had long black hair that sat onher shoulders. I know because i seen it out before. She was tall, brownskinned and wore glasses. Today she had her hair in a neat bun. " Why you sitting next to Ronald? Come back here with us " I shook my head no. I knew they would make fun of me if I walked over there. " Come on they not gonna bother you, I promise " She began pulling my arm to make me get up. I was shocked. I never heard someone say that to me. " I Promise " It sounded very nice. A warm feeling came to me everytime I repeated those words in my head. She had a warm smile too. It made me feel good inside. She seemed nice. I got up and walked over to the group of girls. Janay, Tiana, Bianca, Serena, Paris, and Feona were all great friends. They always sat together and hung out and stuff at lunch. They all stared at me when I walked over and sat at a empty seat.
" Oh no you don't neither, I told ya ass to sit over that a way! "
Serena yelled at me then walked toward my desk. Bianca got in her way.
" Chill yo she with me she cool! "
" No she aint I don't want that weirdo shit rubbin off on me and my girls ya digg?? "
They all shook their heads and stared at me again. I felt a pain in my stomache. I knew this was a bad idea. I started to get up, but Bianca pushed me back down.
" Well the weirdo shit just gonna have to rub off on me then cause she aint do shit to none of ya'll stop acting like assholes and be nice for once. How would ya'll like it if one of these 10th graders or the seniors or something called ya'll weirdos and shit? "
They all got quiet for a minute.
" Yeah exactly my point "
" Well I dont know about ya'll but that aint never gonna happen to me ya digg? "
She put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes.
" BRRRRRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGG "
" Yes second period " I said to myself. I got up and began walking to the door. Serena pushed me into the fan. I fell onto the ground.
" Bianca aint gonna be here to save you forever bitch, try pulling that shit again and watch what happens to you "
She rolled her eyes at me and walked out the door with Tiana and Paris. Bianca ran over and helped me up. She shook her head.
" You cool yo? Don't mind her she just a bitch sometimes. Girl you better start standing up for ya'self don't be letting these bitches run over you like fucking train tracks. Let them know you aint for the bullshit feel me? "
She brushed some dust off of my bookbag and handed to me. I cracked a fake smile.
" Thank you "
" No problem. But i'll catch you at 5th period ok? Remember what i told you "
I nodded my head and watched her walk down the hallway. I smiled to myself. Maybe she was right I should stand up for myself. Show everyone im boss. Wait, bad idea then I might get beat up or jumped. Oh well, I don't want to make things worst.
" Buenos Dias Senorita Turner! "
I heard my spanish teacher yell at me when I walked into the classroom. I went to go sit at my table. Melissa tried to trip me when I walked past her desk.
" Loser "
She whispered as I sat down. I ignored her. Then, that's when he came in. The cutest boy in all of 10th grade. Dyshawn Grant. He was so cute and his lips were so sexy. I kinda liked him but I knew he would never ever talk to me. So I just thought of him alot. I watched him as he sat at the desk infront of me. I was so happy Mr. Miller sat me with him. We were the only two at a table. He pulled out his book and pen and began writing. I stared at him and wasn't even realizing how long I was staring. He looked up at me.
" Wassup "
I blushed and turned around. He chuckeled. He tapped me with his pen on my shoulder.
" Oh that's how you feel? You not gonna say Hi back? "
He smiled at me. I waved at him, blushed, then turned back around. I think he knew I liked him. He probably liked me too. Well maybe not, but I knew he messed with me everytime we come in about this hi stuff. He knew I didn't talk. He tapped me again.
" I said to SAY hi back "
I turned around and looked at him. I think it took everything in my body for me to open up and say:
" Hi "
" That's much better "
He began to write again. I turned back around and blew out a breath of relief. Chills ran down my back. After a hour of spanish tapes, spanish activites, and a side order of spitballs here and there from Melissa. It was time to go. I don't think I even heard the bell ring this time. I was too focussed on Dyshawn. How can someone that cute even think of speaking to me? I got up and began putting my books back into my bag.
" iight yo, I'll see you lata "
He tapped the pen on my head and walked out the door. I blushed again. Maybe there is a chance...naw nevermind. As I walked down the hallway I smelled the pizza and french fries. I automatically knew to be at the back of the line because everyone was going to bust in line. I heard Mr. Dansworth yelling " Hot stuff move it! " and " Get in a line! ". About fifteen minutes later I made it to the serving table. Just when I was about to grab my tray of hot pizza and fries, someone snatched it from me. It was Darryl. He did this to me the most. I don't know why. " Hey give that girl her food back! " Mr. Dansworth yelled at him. " Yo chill Danny I was in line before her! " Mr. Dansworth snatched the plate from him and handed it to me. I cracked a smile.
" Fucking lame "
He said angry as ever.He pushed me as I walked past him. I walked into the lunchroom. Everyone was sitting with their friends. I knew I didn't have that so I knew where my place was. In the back of the lunchroom in the corner. Because that was filled up I had no choice but to sit at the back table.
" You can sit here if you want "
A caucasion girl with pretty green eyes moved her bag to the side and looked back down at her book. I nodded my head and sat. She looked like she could be gothic. Something about that book she was reading looked familiar.
" Um is that a book of poems? "
She looked up from her book. I admired her eyes so much. When she looked at me she kinda freaked me out a little, but I had a feeling she was cool.
" Yeah..Why have you read it before? "
" No it just says a book of poems at the bottom and I kinda like poems..that's all "
I quickly turned back around and started eating my food.
" Hey no need for acting all scary and shit I won't bite..I get that look alot "
I felt a little guilty. It was wrong for looking at her that way. I turned back around.
" No I didn't mean it like that. Im sorry. "
" No need for apologies it's cool. So you like poems huh? Do you write any? "
I never really let anyone read my Poem Diary, but maybe it was time to try something new for a change.
" Yes. Do you? "
" Yeah but the stuff I write you probably won't like..You know death and shit "
She smiled then looked back down at her book. I looked at her jet black hair. It was in a neat ponytail. I kinda liked her choker to.
" Well everyone is different I don't discriminate. And yes I write poems too "
" Yeah I hate when people treat me like i'm fucking satan or something you know? It just really pisses me off. But hey you mind if i can read some of your stuff? "
I twisted my lip a little. What if she makes fun of me or calls me weird or something? I took a chance. I reached into my bag and pulled out my book. She placed her book down and began reading mines. After about five minutes, Her whole face changed.
" Wow this is great. I think you should enter this in the contest "
" What contest? "
I felt my heart beating faster.
" The poem contest. Mr. Pomer the counsler has it every year. I think today is the last day for sign ups. Tomorrow is judging day. Maybe you should enter. You never know you might win "
She handed my book back. This all sounded so great. If I won maybe I would be recognized for something for the first time. I might even make some friends. I might even...
" Hey you ok? "
She snapped her fingers in my face.
" Where is Mr. Pomer's office? "
" Right through there "
She pointed at the other side of the lunchroom
" Go through there and into the hallway, the first door on your right "
" Thanks so much! "
I said eagerly and in a hurry. I hoped he was there. I got began to get up.
" Hey um what's your name? "
" Patience "
She cracked a smile and stuck out her hand. I shook it.
" Nice to meet you "
" Hey weirdo jawn, You want your fries..wait why am I even asking you? "
Tiana reached over and took my fries off my plate. I didn't care I had more important things on my mind. I went through the lunchroom and into the hallway. I walked into Mr. Pomer's office, and there he was gathering some papers.
" Come in, Come in, Don't be shy "
I walked into his office. It was small but was full of posters and papers were everywhere.
" So how can I help you sweetheart? "
He looked at me with those big glasses. He had a heartwarming smile.
" I want to sign up for the Poem Contest please "
" Wow you just made it, I was about to submit these poems and contest entries to Ms. James. You know the judging day of the winners are tommorrow? "
I nodded my head yes.
" Okay well let's get started then. I want you to fill out this form and a poem you would like to submit "
I began filling out the paper, but was stuck on what poem I wanted to submit. I handed him my poem diary.
" Wow I see we have a writer on our hands. How long have you been writing poems? "
" Ever since I was 12 "
Saying that number sent a pain in my back. It felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife.
" Wow you have alot of talent "
I smiled. He handed me back my book.
" So which poem are you going to submit? "
My smile faded. I didn't know.
" I don't know sir "
" Well I have to have something before I turn in these papers "
" I know but...."
He made a stop signal infront of my face.
" Because I think you have alot of potential, i'll tell you what, If you can write me a poem or either submit me one by the end of the day i'll take it. You know if this was any other kid I would say now or never "
He chuckeled and continued.
" So before 2:44 I want a poem ok? You can either submit it to me at my office or to the main office. But I would rather want you to give it to me, So i'll be here at the end of the day I have business to take care of, but I want that poem, Ok? "
I nodded my head yes.
" Ok..So is there anything else I can do for you? "
I shook my head no.
" Ok well I'll see you later then "
He smiled and finished gathering some papers. I walked out of his office. I went through the side door and walked up the steps. When I stepped outside the sun greeted me with a smile. I cracked a smile and sat on the ground. Everyone else was on the other side. I liked being alone, I was used to it. Anyways nobody talked to me and they would only pick with me if I went over there.
" Look at this weirdo bitch! "
Channelle kicked my bookbag hard. All of my things came out. Her best friend Farrah laughed as she stepped on my poem diary. I heard them talking about me as they walked over to where everyone else was. Farrah was muslim too. She was darkskinned and short. Channelle was darkskinned, and thin. She wore glasses. I thought Farrah was the nice one, but she was just as mean and ignorant as Channelle. I felt tears rolling down my eyes as I picked up my things. I don't know if It was just me but It felt like the sun was shining brighter and brighter the more I cried. I felt its hot rays dry up my tears. I looked up at it. It was so beautiful. I smiled and wiped my face. I grabbed my pen and book and began to write.
" BRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGG"
The bell startled me. Good thing I finished my poem. I heard everyone going to class. I came in through the door where I came out of. I walked to Mr. Pomer's office. He was just closing his door and locking it.
" Mr. Pomer! "
I shouted. I walked up to him and handed him my poem. It was a nice long one.
" I think im going to like this one. You have alot of talent. Cherish it sweetie. And always keep your head up "
He grabbed my chin and smiled.
" Well gotta go "
He locked his door and went towards the lunchroom. I felt so warm and tingly inside. Those words he said made me feel like a somebody, Well for now at least. I knew that would all fade once I step into 4th period.
Once again class was the same. Mr. Auburn the Tech teacher yelled and fussed and us. No one did work in this class. I think me and a few others did. Today he decided to drop the assignment because too many people weren't listening. I decided to go on Writing.com and read some stories. I found a real good one. About a hour and a half later, the bell rung. I didn't hear it. I was too into the story. I felt something hard hit me in my head. I snapped out of my dream. I turned around and Kevin was yelling at me. He was a 10th grader and quite popular. He was darkskin, loud and ignorant. Well to me at least.
" HELLLO ASSWIPE did you not hear the bell. Dumb ass freshmans "
I watched him as he walked out the door. I scrunched up my face and rubbed my head. I walked through the hallways and made it to the stair case. I heard a girl yelling and fussing at the top of the steps. I knew who that was. It was Dawn. She was tall, lightskin, and wore glasses too. She had her hair in micros. They were burgundy and blonde. They looked really nice. She was an 11th grader.
" IF YOU DON'T WALK THE HELL UP I GOT CLASS AND A TEST..MOVE!! DAMN!! "
She was pushing two boys out of the way. I walked up the stairs pass them and out of the stairwell. My science teacher Mr. Burns was talking with Ms. Polite like he usually did.
" Ms. Turner "
He said to me with a smile. I guess that was his way of saying hi. I nodded my head and walked in.
" Ms. Turner..More listening less writing " I heard Ms. Polite say as I put my homework in the folder. I turned around and smiled. She smiled back.
I went to the back of the room and sat down. Carl and them was at the end of the table talking about rapping and stuff. Mariah and her best friend Rachael were talking. I was stuck inbetween two clicks which made me feel even more lonely.
" Okay everybody let's get started! "
Yelled Mr. Burns. He grabbed his ruler and slammed it down on the table. I hated this class, but I always did the work. I pulled out my diary and began to write.
I Touched Your Face
{ I touched your face and light shined on us from the sky above
I touched your face and I could feel the love
I touched your face and felt your soft skin
I touched your face and felt the warmth within
I grabbed your face and leaned in for a kiss
But I missed
You were just my imagination
You were just a dream
And you wanted me to wake up}
" BRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNG "
" Okay everybody I want my homework first thing in the morning.. Ms. Turner next time don't fall asleep in my class "
I nodded my head yes as I sat up and wiped slobber from my mouth. I grabbed my book and pen and stuffed it in my bag. I loved 7th and 8th period. My teacher was kind of a weirdo like me. We have alot in common. I walked into Ms. Randolph's room. She greeted me with a big 'ol smile. I chuckeled.
" Well hello Ms. Turner aren't we happy today! "
I sat in my seat. I saw everyone else come in. They all looked so beautiful. So popular. So loved. So liked.
" Okay im coming around to check your Do Now "
She pulled out her marker from her desk. Today's do now was to write down who your 3 best friends are and why they're you best friends. I left my paper blank. I put my head down. I felt someone pluck my neck. It was none other then Mariah. I forgot she sits in back of me. " Wake up loser " She whispered. I rolled my eyes.
" Well Ms. Turner you know I can't give you Do Now credit for this "
She shook her head and walked past me. Mariah plucked me again.
" What's wrong stupid? You brain dead? Huh stupid? "
I balled up my fists. I was ready to punch her in the face. I put my head back down. For about a good five minutes Mariah didn't touch me. I turned around and noticed she moved next to Racheal. I layed there with my head down. I hated this school. I hated my dad. I hated my mom. I hated my life. but most of all, I hated myself. Because of me life is what it is.
"BRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG "
I didn't even know I slept until the 8th period bell. Everyone else got up to go take a bathroom break. I just looked around the room and noticed it was half empty. I layed my head back down.
" What's the matter? This isn't like you "
My teacher put her arm around my shoulder.
" I'm fine my stomache just hurts "
" Do you want to call someone to come get you? "
" No i'm okay "
" Alright well I need you to participate in class alright? "
I nodded my head. I hate when she says that. I lifted my head up and noticed everyone coming back in. About a half and hour later, We had to get and groups and read. Of course I was by myself. In a way, I kinda liked it. We were reading a story called One Step At A Time. I really was into it. It was so real. It was like someone was telling my life to millions and millions of readers. I felt a couple spitballs and papers with mean messages fly my way but I didn't care. It was like watching your life from someone else's point of view. I felt like I was there. Going through everything she went through. I loved this story. It felt like it was a part of me.
" BBBBBBBRRRRRRRIIIINNNNNNNGGG "
" Okay everybody finish the story by tommorrow please "
I was still reading. I just couldn't stop.
" Ms. Turner..the bell "
I jumped up and grabbed my bag. I walked out of the classroom, in the hallway, down the steps, and out the school. My dad was sitting out there like usual. I got into the car. It smelled like liquor and cigarettes.
" You had a good day? "
I nodded.
" My fault about this morning I was stressing from last night. You know Im still taking these damn classes for my problems you know. Ima get better "
I ignored him and stared out the window. He said this everyday. Whenever he beat the shit out of me, he apologies. Later on, we were home. I went straight into my room and flopped on my bed. I pulled out my English book and began reading. I heard the door open up. I heard a women giggling then his room door was slammed shut. I knew what that meant. He's gonna screw her, kick her out, get drunk, then kick my ass for no reason. A typical night. I was so into this story. I fell asleep.
" Ring Ring Ring "
I heard my alarm go off. I didn't bother to turn it off. I got up and went into the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face. I brushed my teeth. I came out of the bathroom and knocked on my dad's door.
" Dad? "
I just heard him snort. I walked back into my room and got dressed. I grabbed my bag and dusted it off. I went downstairs. Once again no cereal, no food, nothing to drink, but old milk and sink water. I shook my head. I opened the front door and felt the coolness of the morning air splash my face.
The whole morning was a blurr. All I remember now is sitting in advisory waiting for the announcements of the contest winner. I didn't care about anything anyone said to me. I didn't care about the smart comments or the threats. For once in my life all I cared about was myself. Me, myself and I, and I wasn't going to let anyone take this great feeling from me. I saw Bianca walking toward me.
" Hey girl come over here with us "
I shook my head no
" No not today "
" Why not? Oh cause of yesterday? Oh girl don't worry that shit is squashed "
I shook my head.
" No it's not that it's just today is an important day for me and I don't want this day to be ruined "
" What do you mean? "
" Yesterday I submitted a poem I wrote to the counselor for the poem contest and today they announce the winners "
" Oh foreal? That's wassup. I'm sure you'll win. I believe in you "
She put her hand on my back and I smiled. I pulled out my Poem Diary and handed it to her.
" What's this? "
" It's my poem book "
She grabbed it and began to read. Everytime she finished a poem she would smile.
" Yo these are really good. You got talent girl "
I smiled. I felt even more confident in myself.
" Thank you "
" BE QUIET EVERYONE ANNOUNCEMENTS!! HEY I SAID BE QUIET!! HEY YOU BE QUIET!!SHH SHHH!!! QUIET!!! "
I heard Mr. Elliott yelling at everyone to be quiet for the announcements. I felt my body shiver in excitement. Bianca looked at me and smiled. I heard Ms. James voice giving the morning announcements. I frowned a little. I wished she would shut up. Just then I heard the words:
" Now for the announcements of the Poem Contest winner, Mr. Pomer will be presenting "
I began to shiver again. It felt like electricity was going through my veins. A big smiled was planted on my face.
" Good Morning Teachers, Staff, and Students. As you all know every year I have a Poem Contest. All last week was the submission of poems, and today I will announce the winner. These students are talented, young individuals who take much pride in their work. They're gifted and confident. They will go far in life and I truly believe in each and every one of them. We have over 20 students who submitted poems to us, but only one winner. So I ranked it down to three winners this year. Now to announce the winners..."
I felt my heart sank to my feet. I was breathless. For once I felt like a somebody. I felt like I could touch the sky. I felt high and mighty. I loved every minute of it and cherished it as I heard him talk.
" Third place winner will recieve a 50 dollar gift card to Walmart and a free dinner at Applebees. And the winner is.....9th grader Jamie Wells for her poem " Flying High "
I heard a few claps in the background of the loudspeaker. My heart raced faster as he announced again:
" Second place winner will recieve a 500 dollar gift card to any clothes store they wish and 2 free dinners to Red Lobster..WOOO!! "
I chuckeled but was anxious at the same time.
" And the winner is......9th grader Patience Hanson for her poem " Till Death Do Us Part "
I heard the claps again. I clapped myself for Patience. I think she deserved it. I kinda got more and more nervous. What if I don't even win? What if all this was a waste of time. Maybe my dad was right. I'm not going to be any better then my mom, maybe just like her. He tells me this even when he's not drunk. My dad wouldn't lie to me right? Maybe i'm am worstless. Maybe I will never be anything. Maybe no one will ever like me, damn near love me. I felt a tear ready to pour out. My heart began to beat faster and faster. I looked up at the loud speaker as he began announcing the winner.
" And now the moment you've all been waiting for..The winner of the Contest!!! First place winner will recieve a contract to get a published poem book from A&C Publishing Company!!! "
I heard the claps in the loudspeaker background. It felt like I was the only one in the room. Everyone around me froze.
" And the first place winner of the Annual Poem Contest is........Ms. Shardae Turner of the 9th grade!! " I think my heart stopped. I couldn't hear the name of the poem or when he read it on the loud speaker, I could only hear my name echo in his voice. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I won something. My life could finally change. I felt like a somebody. I felt free. I felt like a bird ready to fly away into the clouds. I felt the classroom spinning and spinning and spinning. I saw everyone's eyes staring at me. Even Bianca's. My heart beated faster and faster. I felt myself gasping for breath. Then....Everything went black.
" And that's how mommy became a writer, Now it's time for you to go to bed! "
I tucked my daughter into her large soft bed. Her pink pony comforter with her pink pony matching room was more beautiful then anything you've ever seen. I kissed her softly on her forehead. Her room was as big as a house itself. Everything in it was ponies,ponies and more ponies. I walked out of her room, took one last look at her and closed the door. I walked into my grand room and flopped on the bed. I got under the covers and smiled to myself. I never would have thought in a million years I would be the best seller or a novel. I am over 1 million dollars rich and still making more money everyday. It's just funny how life is. I went into my draw and pulled out my Poem Diary and looked at my handy dandy pen from 9th grade. I smiled and closed the draw. I opened my book to the very last page. I stared at the big stamp. It read " First Place Winner " It was my poem that won the contest. I began to read:
Am I The Sun?
{Am I the sun? shining radiantly over all things.
Giving each plant life and support? I watch closely at those who are among the rest.
They're like a pack of wolves or lions. All stuck together, snapping at everyone else that isn't of their kind.
I must be the sun. So different from the other stars that twinkle at night. So small, bright, but small.
I am special. Always thinking outside the box. Always looking at the world in another angle, in another direction.
I've always been told to be one step ahead of everyone else. I never knew what that meant until now.
Am I really the sun? when I'm not one step ahead, I'm one step below.
I hide behind the mountains and hills, then let someone else take my place at night.
I eventually come to my senses, and rise beautifully the next day.
I know i'm the sun. I'm great friends with the clouds, so light on their feet.
I'm best friends with the sky. I make it even more beautiful then it already is.
I love when it laughs.
It changes from misty blue, to sunset orange. What a beautiful sight that is.
I have to be the sun
Making all things feel good inside.
Giving you a warm feeling that tingles inside your heart.
My bright rays that stretches across the sky.
My body full of heat that penetrates the beautiful brown earth.
~I AM THE SUN~]
I smiled to myself and felt a tear roll down my eyes. Finally I have confidence. Finally i'm loved. Finally i'm liked. By millions of people. Finally no more pain. No more hurt. Me and happiness are no longer apart. Finally I am a Somebody.