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Rated: E · Non-fiction · Emotional · #1308649
about my parents taking advantage of a delicate situation I was in
Give Me My Daughter Back!

When I was just turning 21 I had finally left my abusive husband and had filed for divorce. I had to stay at a friends house until I got back on my feet with 2 children. My mother asked to take some of the stress off by allowing my daughter to stay with her at the time. She was about 4 at the time. My daughter felt comfortable with doing this so I allowed it until I was able to get my life straightened out. I got my place back and had met someone and things were going pretty good, so I decided it was time for my daughter to come home. Well another excuse and my mother talked me into letting my daughter stay awhile longer. I trusted mt mother and had no reason to think there was another agenda.
My new husband and I were moving to Colorado from Maine and he had some things he needed to take care of concerning his children there and to be honest I was excited about the move. I went to tell my mother to get my daughter ready to go and she convinced my daughter that she didn't want to go. When the time came for us to leave my daughter through a fit and yet again my mother convinced me to let her stay. I didn't want to, but I let her because my mother convinced me that it was in her best interest at that time. I fought and got no where and didn't want my daughter to be unhappy so I allowed her to stay.
Not even six months later after we were already settled in Colorado my mother sent me guardianship papers to sign and said that it was mainly for medical reasons and so that she could put her in school. I didn't like this idea, but my mother said that she knew there would be a time when my daughter would want to come back and that would be fine. So I did sign them because I felt like there wasn't anything left I could do. I was 2500 miles away.
So here we are and my daughter is now 14 years old and for the past couple of years has been bringing up wanting to come live with me and her step father and her siblings. Which I thought was great, the day finally had come. Well, my mother and my step-father are now going back on their word and won't allow it to happen. They also convince my daughter that maybe she should just visit and blame everything on me of why she isn't living with me and so she goes back to agreeing with them and wanting to just "visit" instead of what she brings up with me. So now she is confused and there are other problems she is dealing with that my parents don't even know about. So I feel like I am stuck because I found out through the courts that basically my parents took my rights away and I did not realize that was what guardianship meant. I was under the impression it was only temporary and now I would have to go and fight it in court. I would have to prove why this would be in her best interest, but I am still 2500 miles away and my daughter does have a say in things now, but am not sure what she would say to the court under my parents influence. I can't talk to her on the phone and the only way I have for communication is on-line. I don't have the money to fight this and didn't realize until now that I would have to. I have been told I was not getting her back and to appear in court would take up some money, which I would spend if I had it. So talk about family conflict, yes this is definitely one. I just don't know how to fight this and I don't know if it would work out in my favor for my daughter. I don't want to give up and regret deeply that I just didn't say no she is coming with me and leave it at that.
It was my mother, though, the one person I thought I could trust and all she did was take my daughter from me. I have 5 children and have a great marriage and I believe this is where she belongs, but how do I get her to realize that? I truly hate my parents for what they are doing and I know family conflict is an understatement. Not only is there a family conflict there is a conflict within myself for not doing what I knew in my heart I should have years ago and what I know I should do now. If I could ever give anyone advise it would be to never ever trust leaving your child even if it is with your parents because this was something I never thought would ever happen to me. My mother was not a model parent either and left me too and I think she is trying to make up for what she did to me, but that isn't fair for her to deprive my daughter of a family that she should be with out of her own selfishness. What do I do? I still do not have the answer. My heart is leading me into what I know is the right thing, but then my daughter would lose out on her grandparents and I don't know what is worse. I do know they are not doing the right thing by my daughter and I think they always had this agenda and just took advantage of my situation. How do I fix this now?

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