Even when I'm gone

I'm crying,
tearing my mind apart.
Just to find a way to be saved.
My soul dead to the core,
my life exsisting no more.
The end is near,
I may not have come far.
But these tears are worth nothing,
this crimson blood is all that I crave.
These cuts and burns make sense to me now.
They were done in preperation for when I'd die,
not quite knowing it then,
I seaked help thinking that it was wrong.


                                        But now I understand,
                                        this was done so saying goodbye would be easier.
                                        What now have I got left to lose?
                                        My friends and family I have ignored,
                                        hurt and betrayed along the way.

              So focused was I on the light at the end,
              only to find the light is nothing more than death.
              Not long now.                                                                                                         
              I have time to make amends,
              clean up the mess that I've made.


And then it will be my time to say good bye.
Welcome this suicide into my open arms.
Glistining red,
I wonder will this ever stop bleeding,
even when I'm gone?