argueing with myself

low gremicing clouds scowled over her part of the dusk sunset. its going to rain or fucking snow, she knew it. *better fucking not i want to go see my friend* she spoke to herself. she continued her peaceful stride towards the center of town, taking backroads and deserted parking lots. *you're weak. if it was me id be there already* the voice in the back of her mind scoffed at her. *bite my ass bitch, i hate you anyways.fucking loser* she thought right back. fighting with the voices has been something she had gotten used to over the years. *pick up the pace, he could be gone.* the voice growled at her, a menacing female voice, one of the kinds of voices you just want to backslap really fucking hard,* shut the fuck up. thats why im here and you're in there* she argued in her head. getting frusterated over nothing but what was supposed to be a simple, quiet walk with her thoughts... she crossed the unused road and remained in the center, walking right down the line, no cars, it was ok. she kept her eyes on the few spaces in front of her, because it always seemed like there were only people around when she fell. watching out for cracks, she was halfway there.. *you can always lay in the middle of the road and wait for someone to stop, then rip them out of thier car and take it* the voice advised*umm, no, the ground is cold and wet and im almost there* she reckoned with it*pussy* then the voice was quiet. leaving her to herself. the tracks were rather close, and it cut time in half by at least 2 minutes, and hey being out of the cold 2 minutes faster... so much better she thought. she cut in through the little patch of shrubbery and mud to get to the rocky path of the old train tracks. a single drop of something not warm smacked her right in the top of her head, she put her hand up there dumbly, *yea, ya dumb shit, its rain* the voice laughed, *hey fuck you i know what it is!* she smiled, if only anyone knew just what went on inside her mind... behind her there were footsteps, she perked her ears to tune into the sound. about how heavy was the intruder? fast or slow pace? after me or just a walk? crackhead or cop? she kept her head down, eyes to the rocks, now that someone was behind her she was sure to trip and fall. more footsteps... a little bit more distant... but quicker than the ones behind her... *what the fuck is this?* the voice asked her *i dont fucking know, but i only have one knife and the chain around my neck...* she thought, grasping the knife in her coat pocket tighter, a white knuckle grip as you would say. the footsteps right behind her turned into a pitter patter, then a jog, they must have looked behind she thought. shots rang out.. *awwwwhhhhh FUCK FUCK KILL EM ALL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!!!!!!* the voice screamed. but amber didnt reply... taking a few staggered steps, she fell on the ground, her arms started burning, or at least feeling like it, she laid there, and waited listening to the footsteps get closer, all of them together now.. " you stupid fucker, who the fuck did you shoot?" guys voices... she waited. "what the fuck are we goin to do?" they contemplated on leaving her here and putting the gun in her hand, as the guy with the 9mm bent down to take her hand and wrap it around her cold, fingertips, her left hand grabbed his hair and pulled it back, showing the beauty of his throat. her right hand that had a white knuckle grip on the blade snapped out, the black blade chirped in the night, its edge hungry for the blood of another. with a quickness she put it right to his throat and pulled back as hard and as deep as she could. even before she was done, the blade, his neck and most of her face and hands were drenched with this fuckers blood*finally, i get to play....* the voice chuckled insanely and grew quiet. the now screaming trio of guys stood in shock, like babies too far from thier mothers titty, they ran, to wherever they could call safety, to whoever they could tell that wouldnt rat them out. she stood up, it was at least around 8pm, and the place was only about a block away. she got up, her shoulders now feeling at least 50 lbs heavier than when she started out the door today. the streets grew darker, or was it the buildings, she didnt know, everything was darker, hazy, discombobulated and just plain fucked up. the voice inside her tried to keep her goin so she wouldnt pass out in the middle of the road *come on super bitch. so you took a fucking bullet, WAA. fucking get there. i cant be evil if i have no body. dont show me you're nothing but a pussy. pussy.*too tired to keep going, she seen how so many other people can get shot and not die, why cant she? the steps were harder to take, but fuck she had to say hello to him. there were the lights, right across the street, she looked both ways, (yea, she wasnt feeling well..) she looked down, a constant dribble of blood trailed her every step. there was something in her throat, like phlem or some shit, she coughed, blood spewed forth. she tasted it and swished it around in her mouth before spitting it out, it didnt taste right, something was wrong, tunnel vision caught her, she stumbled across the street like a bum that found 5$ right outside the local liquer store. horns blared past her ears, like those big ass gongs, echoing inside her head, pounding against her skull, that now felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, her breathing got more shallow with each minute, but she had to see him, she said she would, he was there, she seen him, she was on the sidewalk in front of the building now. but she didnt want to bleed all over the nice new carpet so without him seeing her she trudged herself to the back entrance, sliding against the wall with every chance she could. she got to the back door and threw her arm against the door to knock. someone else answered, but he seen her. she smiled, the glow in her eyes actually shone. he walked out to greet her, "hey, whats up?" he spoke, she took everylast ounce in her body to not spit up more blood instead of words "hi" she smiled, before her knees gave out and her body collapsed on the steps, he dipped to catch her, yelling something she couldnt recall. the medics got there too late, the bullet that had hit her, got her in the chest, grazing the heart and going straight through her lung.*fuck* the voice was alone again for a little while.