First Times

              When Elizabeth Matthews got her heart broken by her high school sweetheart, the last thing she expected was to fall in love again. Timothy Nolen and Lizzie have always been close, the brother-sister type. Therefore, when her heart was broken she knew she could count on him. She just didn’t expect things to go as far as they did.
         I’ve been modeling for Victoria’s Secrets for 6 years now. I first started when I was 17. Not to be arrogant or anything, but when you’re blessed, you might as well use what God gave you. My first check was for 2 million dollars. I paid my tithes, taxes, and put some away for the rest of my life. Since I knew I would be getting married to Antonio.

Chapter 1
         “I’m so excited,” I said as my girlfriends and I danced and got fucked up in my suite for my bachelorette party. Antonio Ross and I have been together since we were 16. We first met in Ms. Casey’s 5th hour class. From there it was love at first sight. I remember our first date like it was yesterday. It was my sweet 16 and I was wearing my new Baby Phat jeans with light pink halter-top. He had on his Jordans, which he had gotten the day before. We went to the movies and, well, let’s just say I didn’t get back home until the next day. We talked all that night. About life, love, and anything else we could think of. We’ve been together ever since that special night.
         Our first Christmas was the most breathtaking. We decided that if I cooked, he would do the dishes. He had bought me a silver bracelet with “October 23 - Cinemark - 4 A.M.” engraved on it. Our first date - the place - the time I got home.” I was so happy I had tears coming down, but he wiped them away with his kisses. Our first Christmas was our first time. The first time we made love.
         “I can’t believe you’re getting married tomorrow,” Angel told me. Nevertheless, I could tell she didn’t want the marriage to go through. “Lizzie can you come here,” Angel called out. “Listen I know you say he’s the love of your life and that you can’t see yourself without him, but are you sure you’re not making a mistake. I know y’all have been together for 8 years but you did say you’ve been having doubts.” I couldn’t say she was wrong, I had been having doubts. “Look, I respect your opinion” I expressed, “and I see why you’re concerned, but every bride-to-be has doubts. And if I’m not mistaken you just said “We’ve have been together for 8 years, not months.” I realized her attitude about us had changed. “Well you know how I feel, but if you’re happy, I’m happy for you.”          Angel and I have been best friends since the 9th grade. She is closer to me than my own family is. Whatever the situation is, if she has something to say, it matters. No wonder she’s my maid-of-honor. “I mean if there was a reason we shouldn’t get married, I would know it by now, right?”

Chapter 2
         When I woke up on my wedding day, it was 8:32. The first sight I saw was my beautiful engagement ring and I smiled as if I was a kid in a candy store. “Will the bride-to-be please report to the dining room,” Angel called out. Once I was out of bed, I opened the doors to my room, went through the kitchen area, and couldn’t believe my eyes. There were dozens of red and white roses on the tables. They were everywhere. All the girls were smiling as if the roses were for them. “It looks like somebody wants some before-the-wedding-fucking,” Moesha said as all the girls laughed.
         Mo and I have been friends since the 2nd grade. She’s a bit of a hoe sometimes, but deep down, she’s a true friend. Speaking of “fucking”, a special someone just called, and I need to pay him a visit. Moesha and Timothy have been going together for almost 4 years now. T had just got out of a horrible ass, controlling relationship and he really deserved somebody good. And that’s when Mo came around. “Don’t forget to get to be at the beach house at 11. It’s going to take at least an hour for y’all to help me get in my dress,” I shouted out to her as she skipped out the suite. “Well, I can tell somebody’s going to get them some.”
         The girls left to go about their business so they wouldn’t have to do it at the last minute, Angel stayed. The wedding was going to be at three at a beach off California’s Central Coast. I couldn’t wait.
         “Angel have you seen my silver bracelet, you know the one Antonio bought me for our first Christmas? I just turned my jewelry case inside out and I still can’t find it. Antonio’s ring and my bracelet was the first thing I packed.” Angel told me to stay calm. “Don’t panic sweetie, you probably just left it on your dresser at home.” That certainly calmed me down. I realized she was right when I saw I had packed the wrong bracelet. “Do you want me to go over and get it for you? I know you don’t want to risk seeing your husband-to-be before y’all get down the aisle.”
         I couldn’t believe it. It had just hit me. In just 6 hours I was going to be Mrs. Antonio Ross.

Chapter 3
         I decided to go home for myself. Just in case there was something I didn’t pack that I needed for our honeymoon. Besides, I knew Antonio wasn’t going to be home because him and his boys went out last night and they were staying at T’s. I pulled up and realized that the Mustang wasn’t in the garage, but the Expedition was so he probably just came home and switched cars. Thank goodness he wasn’t home right now.
         I got out the car and walked into our home. I couldn’t believe my ears. Our song was playing, “Crazy” by K-Ci and JoJo. I sat on the couch and looked in our scrapbook. We had such wonderful memories. Ticket stubs from our first date. Pictures of the snow man we built when he asked me to marry him.
         I heard noises upstairs but didn’t think anything of it. Antonio wasn’t home and with security cameras, alarms, and motion detectors, it’s impossible for anybody to break in. Then I realized it was 9:30. Damn, I must have lost track of time. I hurried to put the scrapbook back on the shelf and ran upstairs to get my bracelet. I needed to be in and out so Antonio wouldn’t see me.
         Then I realized it didn’t matter whether he saw me or not. There would be no wedding, no honeymoon in Hawaii, no us. Moesha was riding Antonio as if her life depended on it. I had just seen someone I had given 8 years of my life to fuck someone else, seen him having sex with her to our song, while she had on my bracelet. Some friend she was.
         I thought I was going to throw up. He had played me for a fool this whole time. He was moaning. Saying that he couldn’t believe they’ve been able to keep things a secret for all these years. Years. I couldn’t believe it. He never loved me.
         Then it all made since. All the times he was late meeting with the wedding planner, he was with her. When we would go out to dinner, he would have a new suit. A suit she probably bought him.
         I had to get out before they saw me. I ran downstairs and glanced at the alarm. It hadn’t been set. He wanted to fuck her so bad; he hadn’t thought to setting it.
         Then I remembered that all his suits would have Mo’s scent on him. But I didn’t think about it then. Mo and I had the same perfume. The cheating bastard knew exactly what he was doing.     
         
Chapter 4
         “Angel you were right. You were right about us, that it was a mistake,” I told her as I backed out of our driveway. I thought I could handle driving. Fuck, I forgot to open the gate. I backed out so fast I broke the gate and my dented my Hummer. I tried to stay calm. Or at least until I got back to the hotel.
         Angel opened the door with open arms, literally. She told me how I could do better. “First off, this is not about whether I’m right or wrong. This is about him being an asshole to you. And about the fact that that bitch better sleep with one eye open.” I gave her the stop-talking-like-that look. She knows I don’t like violence. “Look, I’m sorry, I can’t help it. This whole time she’s been all “supportive” of y’all getting married but been fucking him on the side. That’s not right. Does Timothy even know yet?”
         That’s when everything started coming out. I made it to the bathroom just in time to let the toilet catch my breakfast. I had completely forgotten about T.
         T and I have been friends since the 7th grade. When my parents had decided they didn’t want me anymore, he and his family took me in. They treated me as if I was family. How was I supposed to tell him about this? How was I supposed to tell him that his girlfriend was sleeping with his best friend of 10 years?
         Of course, Ms. Angel was here for me once again. “Well maybe you don’t have to tell him, maybe you can show him.”
         
Chapter 5
         Nobody was going to suspect anything. That was the plan. We went to Lowes and bought different locks so we could change them. I used his credit card. I went to the insurance company, and they checked out my car. Since it was a Hummer, the price to fix it was expensive, more than it is to fill my tank up. I charged it to his credit card. He was going to pay whether he liked it or not.
         We called the house and nobody answered. Just to be safe, Angel passed by and checked the house to make sure the son-of-a-bitch wasn’t home. Or the slut. She told me it was clear and I was there within 5 minutes.
         “I know I’ve always said I thought you were going overboard with the security, but for once, I’m glad you have it,” she said cheerfully as we entered the last place I had seen my ex-fiancé.
         Tears started flowing. I couldn’t handle it. Someone I had trusted for years had betrayed me. Told me I never had to worry about being hurt. All the Christmases and birthdays no longer mattered. The hours of us making love meant nothing now. Nothing that happened between us mattered anymore.
         I saw that he had fixed the bed. To show that nobody was home, yeah right. The teddy bear he had won for me was on the bed. We had gone to the fair that day; it was our 1-year anniversary.
         As I called our local dump trucks, Angel came up with trash bags. We were going to get rid of all the memories of them being here. I wasn’t about to sleep in this bed now.  The covers went in. As a matter-of-fact, I didn’t want the bed anymore either. We tossed the mattress and bed over the balcony. We were “recycling”.   
         I couldn’t believe that the past years of my life had been a lie. But I held it together. Just long enough to get the job done.

Chapter 6
         I called the security company and requested that they provide me with the tapings of my house from 9 to 11. Since that was when I suspected she was here.
         I watched clip after clip of my cheating fiancé and my ex-friend having sex. From in the garage in my car to on the table where we ate, there they were.
         The dump truck person came in and asked if that’s was all that was being thrown away. Angel and I looked at each other and she busted out laughing.
         We got rid of everything that he bought: his PSP, the pool table, and especially the table he had the nerve to fuck somebody else on.
         We got the tapes, VCR, and drove over to the beach house. On the way there, I called T. I told him that I hoped he wouldn’t hate me after today. That I hoped he would forgive me for getting him and Mo together. I didn’t know what I was more worried about. The outcome of today’s “wedding” or the attitudes from my family and friends.
         We pulled up to the beach house and all my girls were outside. All my bridesmaids, and Mo. I hugged everyone, even her. I acted as is nothing had happened. We ordered room service as if we were high maintenance spoiled brats. We had lobster, wine, the whole 9 yards. All charged to him.
         We all sat in our make up chairs being “beautified” for today. From head to toe, I was drop dead gorgeous. Antonio was going to feel like shit when he realized he couldn’t have any of “this” anymore.
         “Antonio’s so sweet for paying for all this,” the slut said. “Yeah, you’re right. But you’re going to be really surprised when you find out who’s going to pay next,” I said. And with the biggest smile on my face, I put my wedding dress on and said, “Well let’s go girls, we have a wedding to get to.”

Chapter 7
         “Hey, Lizzie,” T shouted out to me. What was that all about? What do you mean by me hating you?” I didn’t know what to say so I handed him a remote. “All I can say is that Mo isn’t right for you. Look, when I give you the sign, press play.”
         I watched Angel and my bridesmaids go down the aisle on the beach. Then it was my turn.
         I arrived to my “groom” and right then and there I wanted to feed his dick to a bunch of pits. But I just looked into his eyes the same way he had looked into my eyes all these years. Like nothing was wrong.
         He sang our song to me, and I cried. But the tears weren’t fake, I was still hurting. Someone who didn’t give a shit about me was expressing love for me that he never had.
         Then it was time. Time for me to show everyone how much Antonio and Mo really “loved” us.
         I looked at T and gave him the sign. No one could believe their eyes. Mo and Antonio looked as if they had just been punched in the stomach and the wind was knocked out of them. They didn’t have to thank me for it, I was just returning the favor. Antonio had the same expression on his face as I had when found out what was going on between them. All Mo could do was stare, with the appearance of what she’s known for. Then I heard Angel. Damn, why couldn’t she just let the tape speak for itself? “Hey hoe, why don’t you close your mouth?” That’s when all hell broke loose.
         I was planning to tell everybody that today when I went home to get something for our honeymoon, I had caught them together. But I couldn’t get the words out fast enough.
         I saw another side of T. A side I had never seen before. “What the fuck was that Mo?” But she didn’t have time to answer. Angel was on top of her practically burying her face in the sand. I felt myself falling as Antonio fell on me. I had blood on my gown. Blood that came from his shirt when he got his teeth knocked out by T.
         I didn’t know what to do. I ran up to the beach house and got my bags. Angel walked in as if she had just gotten in a fight with Laila Ali, and won. I was pissed. “What was that all about? You knew from the get go, that I didn’t want it to turn out like this.” She knew I was right. “I’m sorry,” she said apologetic. “But I couldn’t take it anymore. It’s like she was begging me to kick her ass.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well I guess you’re right. She did kind of have it coming to her.”
         I heard someone come up the stairs. Everything stopped. “Hey, Liz, can you open up? We need to talk.” Thank goodness, it was T.
         Once the door was open I couldn’t stop apologizing. “I’m so sorry about all of this. I should’ve just come out and told you, I just didn’t know how…” I had tears in my eyes. He hugged me. The way I’ve wanted to be hugged for a long time.
         
Chapter 8
         I pulled back. “Why didn’t you just tell me about them? You wouldn’t have had to go through all this today.” I couldn’t answer either of his questions. “I didn’t know what to say to him. “Please say something.” I felt like I was going to cry again. “I didn’t think you would believe me, your were madly in love with her. You just got her a ring last week that you were going to propose with. I’m so sorry.” He hugged me again. Why did he have to keep doing this to me.
         “I’m leaving for a couple of days, maybe weeks. I can’t stay here right now. Angel and I are going to Miami. I need to get away for a while.”
         I felt like my whole world had changed. In just 8 hours, I went from being engaged to be married. To leaving my ex at our wedding with some knocked out teeth.
         “Well I want to help. Please let me. You’ve been through enough for one day. Hell, you’ve been through enough for a year.” I could tell he meant it. He was such a nice brother. “Since y’all are going to Miami, why don’t y’all stay at my beach house? Y’all will be saving five grand just by staying there and not at a hotel.” Angel walked in on the beach house part. “We’ll take it, she said as she ran downstairs with the keys in her hands.”
         I hugged him goodbye and thanked him. For everything.
         We walked into the airport, went through all the security checks and exchanged “our” old Hawaii honeymoon tickets for 2 first-class round trip tickets to Miami. I was determined to leave this day behind me. 

Chapter 9
         It took four hours to get to Miami. I had four long hours to myself. Four hours away from a day I never wanted to relive again.
         As soon as we landed, I got a call from T saying that he had his car dropped off for us. “Thank you so much. I owe you big time.” In fact, I’ve decided that I’m selling my house. I don’t want any memories of him or her. I’ll get you court side, season tickets to the Heat if you just watch over the house until we get back. I don’t want Antonio to trash my house before I’m able to sell it.” He was quiet. I knew he was thinking about my offer. “Well I’ll make you a deal,” he started. “If you stop apologizing and stop acting as if you caused all this mess, I’ll have it spotless for you. That way you can sell it much faster.” That’s when he found out about our little “clean up” we did earlier. Then my signal went out. Damn Sprint.
         We drove over to Roses. It was a little romantic Italian restaurant where we ordered some drinks. I needed them. I deserved them. Angel and I toasted, “To new beginnings.”
         We settled in at the beach house and had some martinis. Angel was so drunk she fell asleep with the olive in her mouth. I carried her into bed and left a note on her pillow telling her that I went out to the beach.
         I sat on the beach with my feet in the sand, crying. I tried to hold everything in but I couldn’t. In less than 1 day, my whole life had changed. Then I felt the same shock I felt earlier when I saw Antonio and Mo. I heard someone behind me. “Baby, why are you crying? You look like you’ve just been lied to by the one person you thought would never hurt you.”
         Angel and I had left from California less than 25 minutes after the supposed-to-be-wedding. Antonio had found me. “Did you actually think you could get away from me? Think you could get away with embarrassing me like that today.” Those words were the last thing I remembered before I blacked out. 

Chapter 10
         When I woke up in St. Memorials Hospital, it was 2:56 A.M. I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know why I was here. Then I felt better. “Hey girl, want a drink?” I knew that familiar voice. Angel was sitting at the table eating Taco Bell while drinking 1916 Italian Strawberry Wine. Cheap food and expensive drinks, that’s the best combination a girl could ask for.
         “What happened to me? I don’t remember anything.” Then she told me and I regretted asking her. Antonio had knocked me unconscious with a shovel. That was the same shovel that he had started using to dig a hole in the beach to bury me in. I felt my body go numb. I knew I had embarrassed him but I never thought that he would be so pissed off to kill me. He had found us by tracking the plane tickets. He had used his private jet to beat us to Miami’s airport so he could follow us. Then T walked in. “Hey, what are you doing here?” I guess my being famous had a positive side to it. A guy had called the cops when he saw “Ms. July” being assaulted. T said that when he saw me on the news, he got on the first flight out here. I felt so loved.
         I got the “ok” to go home after 3 days of being in the hospital. T convinced me to stay at his place until my house was sold. He wanted me to stay close to family. Stay close to him so he could protect me.
         The first day back was the worst. I had to take it slow, but that was hard to do. I was eating bananas when Angel called to tell me she was coming over. The doorbell rang so I answered it. Instead of Angel, it was Mo. She had tears in her eyes. She started saying that she was sorry for everything that she had done. I knew it was a lie. I looked her dead in the eyes. “Do you know who was there for me when I was in the hospital? Angel was. You see, friends stay by your side when you need them. They don’t stay in you bed fucking you fiancé.” Before I shut the door in her face, the last expression I saw was priceless. I shoved my banana down her throat. I don’t see what was wrong with doing that, the slut was used to it.
         Angel couldn’t believe what happened. “Damn, I knew I should’ve came over earlier. Now that would have been a Kodak moment.”
         T came in from work at around 7 that night. He had been working as a youth counselor for Helping Teens Overcome Challenges (HTOC) for almost 5 years now. His biological mother did drugs while she carried him. It’s amazing how he was born so healthy. He was a product of his mother’s rape, so she wanted nothing to do with him. Abortion wasn’t legal at the time so that was out of the question. She had triplets originally but purposely miscarried 2 of them. However, T wasn’t going anywhere. He was adopted when he was just 3 months old. He always said he wanted to help those that he could relate to, that’s why he opened HTOC. He was cute, sweet, and he love giving back. Was there anything not lovable about him?
         I had just finished my shower when Snookie opened the door. Why and the hell did that dog have to be so talented? I didn’t know why everything seemed so different now. Why I was so worried about him seeing me half-naked. T had seen me in my bathing suits and with just a towel on plenty of times. Now it felt different. I was starting to fall for him.
         I put my clothes on and went to open the bedroom door so I could get some ice cream. I opened the door to see T with a pint of Cookies & Cream in his hands. “Hey, I stopped by the store on the way home. I thought you might want some since it is your favorite.” Was he reading my thoughts?
         We went downstairs and watched Next Friday and some Chris Tucker movies. He noticed I started having tears come down. “What’s wrong? Does this movie remind you of him or something?” I wasn’t crying because I was sad, it was because I was happy. “Believe it or not, this is the first time I’ve really laughed since my wedding day.” It was 1 in the morning when we finally finished the other movies. Then we fell asleep on the couch, together, in each other’s arms.
         I woke up at what seemed like 3 in the afternoon but was really only 7:30. I smelled bacon, eggs, and pancakes. Damn. He knew how to cook, too. I walked into the kitchen seeing what I wanted for breakfast. He was at the fridge getting orange juice, with no shirt on. He was the one that should be a model. I ran to turn the air on. We ate breakfast as we watched the news about Antonio. The verdict came in. He was found guilty on attempted murder charges and was sentenced to 35 years without possibility of parole. T told me he was sorry about the sentencing. We both thought he deserved a longer time, but it was better than nothing. “It’s okay. It’s not like you were the judge. Even though somebody did get kicked off the jury stands for having connections with me.” We laughed. He was ordered to be on jury duty because of his 2 thousand dollars worth of parking tickets he “forgot” to pay. Doing the evaluation, they found out he and I are friends so they let him go on a $750 fine and community service.
         “What do you want to do today? The doctor said you can go swim with the sharks today, if you want to,” he said sarcastically. I had been stuck in the house for the past week. “Go get dressed. I have a surprise for you.” I ran upstairs faster than I had run to the beach house on my wedding day. In fact, I don’t even cry about that day anymore. Probably because I never have to worry about seeing either one of them. On the other hand, maybe it’s because I’ve move on to someone better. Someone that was worth running upstairs to get dressed for.

Chapter 11
         I went downstairs and was surprised when he told me that I had to put a blindfold on. What was he up to? We arrived to a beautiful mansion. Then my mouth dropped open. Hugh Hefner came though the door. “What’s going on T?” I was more than confused. “Well since I couldn’t clean your house since you and Angel decided to do some “good deeds” by recycling, I decided to help sell your house.” Hugh wants it as a vacation spot.” How and the hell did he know Hugh? “Well I can’t stay long. I just wanted to see the person who was selling such a beautiful house like that.” I couldn’t believe Hugh Hefner had just talked to me. Then he gave me the check. I thought I was going to blackout again. It was for 25 million dollars.
         We went to the bank and cashed the check immediately. I couldn’t wait. “How do you know him?” He told me that when he would go to my fashion shows, Hugh would be there most of the times since he bought lingerie for all his girlfgriends. They started talking, one thing led to another, and my house was sold.
“I owe you so much. What do you want: a new car, a beach house, what?” He told me I didn’t have to repay him. That he did this because he cared and he wanted to help. “Look, you just sold my house to Hugh Hefner. I’m paying you back whether you like it or not.” Then he took my hands into his and told me “Well if you want to pay me back so bad, go out with me. And I don’t mean as a friend like we usually go out, I mean on a date.”
         We decided to go to Casa Romantica. I love that place. We couldn’t help but to flirt with each other. “How do you feel about us dating?” Damn he just had to ask. “Truthfully,” I started, “I’m scared. I just got my heartbroken by someone I’ve trusted for years.” He told me that he understood. “I can see why you feel this way. She cheated on me too, remember.” I couldn’t forget. “I know I said I was over him but I don’t know if I ready to-” He stopped my words with a kiss. It was nice. “Now how do you feel? And I don’t want to hear his name or hers in your answer. “You said for yourself that you don’t think that he ever loved you.” I did say that. “Okay, so you’re saying that you love me.” I wanted to kick my own ass for saying that. However, he answered anyway. “Well, what would you say if I told you that I’m in love with you?”

Chapter 12
         I was on the plane flying to Italy on July 9. I was dreaming that I was in T’s arms while he kissed every inch of my body. I dreamt that we were in bed making love to each other as he told me “I love you.” Then I woke up and looked to my left. I saw my husband smiling at me. He always did love watching me sleep. “Did you sleep well; you were smiling in your sleep? Did you have a dream or something?” All I could do was smile.
         We decided to unpack before we went to dinner at Casa Romantica. That was the same place where we had our first date. We were at the same place where he first told me that he was in love with me. We had dinner, but decided to leave dessert for later that night.
         I thought I was in the wrong room when we returned. There was wine, chocolate covered strawberries, and rose petals everywhere. “What’s that on the bed?” There was a gift in a red bag with “To Mrs. Timothy Nolen” written on it. A heart-shaped plaque had his vows engraved in it.
         I thanked God for turning my dream on the plane into a reality. He carried me into our rose-covered bed and we made another first.

                                                 Monday, November 06, 2006