Why Do I Stay

"Why is it that I stay with you?"
The question spins around in my head.
It is something that I need to know.
Is it the answer that I dread?

Is it the number of years together,
Or the vow we made that day?
After all the things you've put me through,
I need to figure out why I stay.

First was the abuse that you dealt me,
You were sorry and I let that go.
Then the alcohol and drug abuse.
The gambling and the money you'd blow.

Now I find that four years ago
To another you gave your love.
I wish I had known this at that time.
I'd be free, I swear to God above!

I sit here and try to figure it out
Try to find one decent year.
I swear I can't think of one
Then the answer becomes perfectly clear.

I stay with you for all the wrong reasons.
The kids and the dogs and the home.
And the fear you would stalk me forever.
The fear you wont leave me alone.

So please, before your next phase,
Know that someday I'll become strong.
The only question I'll have as I'm leaving
will be, "Why did I wait so long?"