Love me or loathe me, take your pick. |
I have had to sacrifice, A great deal in my life I have gone without many things To help others that were in strife. My life has never been easy I would not wish it upon anyone, But I am compelled to explain The reasons behind the person I've become. My childhood was a nightmare, A spiraling vortex of abuse. My depression began its journey While I choked in my parents noose. I was the eldest child, Within a family of four. The creation of two alcoholics So, their full brunt, I wore. I always protected my siblings The best I could possibly do, Many times I went to hospital Wanting to take them with me too. I have been kicked and punched, Left to lie in my own blood on the ground. Many times I was hit until, Darkness came, there was no sound. When my 16th birthday arrived, I left home to never return, Convincing myself I was worth more, From my childhood, I would learn. I ventured into the big wide world My heart full of hope, stars in my eyes, I quickly became prey to psychic vampires Friends of mine in disguise. I was always their shoulder to cry upon For them when they were down, I gave the best of me to these people When there was no one else around. I put my own problems to the side To help them in their times of need I was always the one to nurse them, To plant within them a happy seed. When my life fell apart around me, And I was sinking in despair I frantically looked around, And no one was there. I medicated myself with many things Drugs and alcohol became my life, My only sense of relief Came from the blade of a knife. I was drowning in my depression For many years I walked a fine line, I could have been spared this battle If I had been worth someone's time. The person I used to be was weak, Shallow and too naieve, So, I recreated my self I gave myself a second reprieve. Now I am nasty and abrupt I don't care what others see You can love me or not, It makes no difference to me. On occasion I may tell you to, Fuck off and leave me alone It would do you well to listen To the warning in my tone. If you push me, I push back I will never back down, I will not ask you why? You are wearing that frown. I can be nasty and spiteful This I do not hide, My moods are known to change As swiftly as the oceans tide. I am overly opinionated I will not apologize. I do not put up with People telling me lies. I do not tolerate people That do not tell it straight, I do not consider this to be A flattering personality trait. If sometimes I am quiet Then I have nothing to say, I do not waste my time Talking idle shit all day. I have been known to be ignorant, When I am lost in my thoughts I will not apologize to you If this puts you out of sorts. You are probably thinking I sound like an evil witch, But I am beyond caring I have been moulded into a bitch. Kristy is on a warpath, Her heart, no one will ever see. I hope you can understand Why I make no apologies, for being me I will never allow myself To walk the line I did before, The weak Kristy is dead She will return never more. |