Conflicting Mind

I cannot think the pressure is blinding
Thoughts jammed against one another, smashed
To want for something this bad is painful
Crushing, throwing, bringing me down further
Completely full to the point of breaking
Repulsive, is my spite; this waste of time
Thoughts spilling out on paper do no good
Venemous jealousy is the worst vice
Masochistic longing is a failure
I need to back off, and retreat from this