Part II- Severed Family Ties

I graduated high school the day after Grandma revealed my biological father was the neighborhood pervert. I wouldn't speak to her nor would I sit down to have a meal. Finally I had a definition for hate.

I'll continue telling you my story by proclaiming "the best thing I ever did was to walk away after graduation June 10, 1994." The ceremony was bitter sweet. Grandma Alicia was front and center, hands flailing about, several thank you Jesus' were heard. The spectacle would have anyone believing her to be a sweet gentle soul.

My name was called to receive my high school diploma. I snatched it out of the hands of the presenter wearing no cap and gown and exited the stage. I had had enough of the charade known as the Brooks-Grover family.

When I entered the house Grandpa Henry had several questions. "Where was your cap and gown?" Why didn't you return to your seat? What has gotten into you? I know you are probably hurting. I'm sorry that Kevin Grover is not your biological father. But come on son we don't get to pick and choose. God has a plan for us all."

I gave no response. Grandpa left my room with his head bowed, hands in his pocket shaking his head from side to side.

I took a glance around the room. All that it once meant came flooding back. As I was reminiscing about happier times, in walks Grandma Alicia. "Baby don't get mad with me cause your momma was a whore. You get your self cleaned up and down to the dinner table now" she demanded.

I spun around quickly. "Listen hear old lady. I will not eat with you. Do not say another filthy word about my mother. Just back off!" I continued. "Just get the hell out of here!"

Grandma Alicia responded. "You listen you ungrateful little bastard. I took you in. I take care of your sorry behind. If your so called Momma wasn't trying to take everything I had, we wouldn't be having this discussion today. So don't go getting mad at me because your momma was a whore!"

"How dare you. That's it, get out of here. I hate you. You and your superior attitude. Your daughter was raped by her father and you blame her?" "Leave me alone before I kick what's left of your simple minded old ass!" I shouted.

Grandpa Henry came rushing in. "Hey, hey, hey, what in the Sam Hill is going on," he yelled. "I know I didn't hear all that foul talking disrespect coming out of your mouth Carl Kevin Grover. It takes a bigger man to just walk away," he said while holding my raised arm.

I announced "I am out of here today. All I want is what my mom and her husband left me. You will never need to be concerned with me again."

Grandma smirked. "You have to stay here to get it jackass." She turned and strutted out of my room. She was Queen Bee and I had just been stung.

When I heard no one downstairs, I made my way to the kitchen. For dinner I made myself a turkey sandwich with chips. I got a tall drink of water and sat at the head of the table. The night I was told about the lies and betrayal cluttering my mind. That one night had severed any family ties. It played over and over in my head. I kept hearing Grandpa Henry say if I don't tell you, one day you will want to know. This thing will consume you.'

My sister Caroline came downstairs and joined the table. She couldn't resist an opportunity to bad mouth Grandma or anyone for that matter. "You should have knocked her on her ass. That's what I would've done. I knew I should have burned this house down when we were younger. We should have taken them both out as Charles had planned.

I didn't join in with her ranting. I stared trying to determine if she was indeed pregnant. She changed the subject. "I was starting to wonder if you were some kind of wimp."

Under my watchful stare, she began fidgeting with the condiments. That eerie grin crept across her face. She opened her mouth to continue. I abruptly went back upstairs to my room leaving Caroline and my dinner at the table.

When I opened the door to my bedroom, Charles my younger brother was sitting on my bed. "Hey, what's up" he asked.

I had reached my boiling point. He must have sensed I was five steps away from choking the life out of somebody. He swiftly removed himself from my bed and headed downstairs.

I pulled out my overnight sack and stuffed it with a couple pairs of jeans, few t-shirts, spring jacket, the last journal and diary I had kept, a picture of my paternal father, a family portrait and copies of my parents' death certificates. I counted what was left of my monthly allowance, stuffed it in my pocket and headed for the door. There was one last encounter with the Queen Bee.

"Where the hell do you think your going?" Grandma Alicia asked in her deep raspy voice. . "Boy I asked you a question. I am not going to beg for respect in my house!"

I said nothing. Continuously I thought about my siblings. I wondered if Caroline was really pregnant. I wondered if Charles would find his way. Charles. The more I looked back the more I realized how Charles had played us all. He didn't flinch when Grandma belittled Mother's character, didn't balk when our half brother was revealed, wasn't fazed when Caroline announced her pregnancy.

With the night Grandpa Henry was forced to clean up all the dirty little secrets playing over again in my head, I picture Charles' face. He wasn't shocked. The only thing that sent him into a rage was to learn that he and I did share a father and his name was not Kevin Grover.

I walked away without looking back. With no known relatives I ended up homeless living on the streets of downtown Cleveland Ohio.