Love or Hate

Why is it so much easier to hate you,
Than to be your friend?
If I am nice to you,
I want you,
Need you,
Can't get you off my mind.
It eats away at my soul.
But if I look past you,
Hate you,
Say hurtful things,
I can pass my love for hate.

Why I fancy you,
I guess I'll never know.
Or maybe you appeal to my fantasies.
Tall,
Dark,
Handsome,
And BAD!
Do I really love you at all?
Maybe you appeal to my fantasies so,
That you are a crush,
One that I long to hold in a passionate embrace.

I can't have you
For I love another.
He has worked so hard to change.
He has loved me so.
To him I have promised my heart.
I love him.

He may not rule my every waking moment,
But I know he will be true to me.
You would leave this earth before I,
And leave me lonely.
I'd always live in fear.

If the day comes,
When we meet again,
And you find my circumstances are different,
And you find me alone,
I have no doubt
I would secretly love you,
With all my heart.