Why?

Why?

Why me?  Why us?  Why Her?  Why them?  Damn it, damn it all.  Why?  Why?  Why? 

First the poor girl and her mother, then Emily, then the nurse, now this.  This year sucks.  Does fate, God, destiny, or whatever other force it may be have something against us?

All in one year there were three deaths, an attempted homicide, cancer, and mystery sickness.  Whoever said the U.S. suburbs are peaceful and normal is a fucking moron.

My life officially sucks.  A house fire killed Emily and her family, leaving their brother to cope.  A girl in my sister’s school mother tried to kill her, and then killed herself.  The school nurse died of cancer.  My grandmother seems to be dying, and my grandma has cancer.  I think you agree my life sucks.

If there is a god (I’m an atheist) he/she/they is/are cruel, heartless, and evil.  Why have all of this happen to my family in the course of three months. 

I know we could be starving in Africa, or homeless and being paid less than minimum wage in China, but I don’t care right now.  Now, I’m trying to cope with so much death. 

“Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway” when I first saw that blinky I thought it was hilarious, but at that time I had no idea what actually dealing with death was like.  I feel sorry for the pain and suffering that I put my OC’s through.  If every time a story is written an alternate universe is created, I apologize Kami Seis, Yami Seis, and to all my other OC’s.

Why do we put so much of our writing into morbid stories, poems and other things when we know how terrible it is?  Even as I ask myself this, deep down I know the answer, we all do, but we just don’t know how to verbalize it.

We all need an outlet, an escape, a way to vent our feelings.  I can feel myself get calmer and more rational as I am writing this too.  Getting our feelings out, whether in form of writing, talking or crying, makes us all feel better.

But still, we ask why…