Death Row

Can a brand that pushes basics make money when they charge 300% more than the traditional Gap T? It can if gremlin twins Mary-Kate and Ashley have anything to say about it.Now all grown up, the twin divas who are known for rocking granny style goods have launched a new couture collection of clothes called The Row. Already available in Europe, the new duds are a far cry from the little ladies collection at the retail giant Walmart.

To me the collection feels like a tome to the fact that all you need is a following to make it in this industry. A mix between “heroin chic” and “mall goth” the collection left much to be desired as if the price tag alone is enough to get fashionistas all hot and bothered by the shear tees ($450) and 3/4 length cashmere tuxedo jackets ($1700).

If you couldn’t tell already, I wasn’t a big fan of this collection… it feels like it’s trying too hard to be anything but “Mart”-itable but falling short with very basic Club Monaco-esque cuts, colors and designs. Nothing here is original and these clothes already exist so spare me that “innovative” bullshit. It would have been interesting to see a collection actually based off of something the Twins wear. Yes they are often lampooned for their over-the-top, mature style which often leaves them looking like their ready for a bridge game with the Golden Girls, but at least that’s intriguing.

To me this whole thing is just another ingenious plot by the same management company who decided to make a set of seven year old twins the owners of their own company. Honestly, I have to give it to these girls. Their fans aren’t 14 anymore and its very possible that this is a way to still profit on those millions of now grown up little girls who had their mommies going nuts because they needed the new MK&A bed sheets.

Also don’t get me started on the very voyeuristic preview video on Style.com for The Row’s holiday collection. It shows a model changing in and out of the collection, showing viewers how flexible the line can be. Of course every piece is just as bland as the one before so it just becomes a sad sentiment to a girl with way too much cash and no real style of her own. Don’t get me wrong the clothes look good, kudos, but what sets you apart from every other wannabe Calvin Klein out there? In my opinion The Row should be sent to death row or since there’s only 3 colors in the collection maybe you can talk to The Limited. They might sell it there.