The Naked Truth

"I am trying to stay as calm as possible in light of the situation, Jeremy, but I'm afraid that I'm about to lose it."

"I know, I'm sorry, Mr. Fla--"

"What the hell were you thinking?! Do you know what kind of damage you caused to the reputation of this store?"

"But, I wanted to make a statement about the war..."

"...By running around naked through the Children's section?"

"I was aiming for the Political Science section. I just got turned around, that's all."

"I'm sure the blindfold you wore didn't help with your navigation."

"It was a statement about blind justice--"

"I wouldn't give a rat's ass if you were protesting against the maltreatment of crickets; that wasn't the point!"

"Wait, what crickets?"

"Never mind the crickets! Why did you do it, Jeremy? Why? Why?!"

"Because I'm tired of this war, Mr. Flanagan! I'm tired of all this fighting in the Middle East. For all our countrymen dying. And, for what? So that we can have cheaper gasoline? I say withdraw the troops from Saudi Arabia and end this war!"

"Saudi Arabia? You mean Iraq, don't you?"

"Wait, we're at war with Iraq too?"

"Oh, for Pete's sake, Jeremy. Do you know what it was like to field the complaints from all those angry parents?"

"I'm sure it wasn't fun."

"No, it sure wasn't! And, my God. Mrs. Bird. Mrs. Bird! Do you know what that means?"

"Um, she was angry too?"

"Yes, she was angry! Our district manager's wife was angry that the store belonging to her husband's district can have something like this happen. And with its own employee?"

"You know, it could've been worse."

"...What?"

"I said, it could've been worse."

"I heard you the first time, fool! I'm trying to understand exactly what you meant."

"I mean, Mr. Bird himself could've witnessed the whole thing. Could you imagine? Yes, that would definitely be worse."

"..."

"Uh, Mr. Flanagan. Are you OK? Your face is a little red. Ooh, is it your hemorrhoids again? You really should have a doctor take a look at that."

"Jeremy..."

"Yes, sir?"

"You're fired."

"I understand, sir."

"I want you to get your stuff and leave the store right away. Use the back door. Don't say goodbye to any of your friends. Just leave."

"Yes, sir."

"And, Jeremy..."

"Yes?"

"For the love of all things holy, put some clothes back on."


Written for "The Dialogue 500"  03/29 to 04/02 Challenge
Prompt: Write a dialogue between you and your angry boss.
Word Count: 400