A Little Too Late (Something Sooner)

A Little Too Late (Something Sooner)

I never noticed you there
Had it always been you
Resting there at the corner of my eye
Had you watched me
All of those times
While I watched my vein pulsing
All I needed was one slice
One drop of blood to reach the surface
Cold and icy
Overcoming the desperation within me
A smile giving away my satisfaction
In mere seconds it would go away
Again I was alone
With no feeling

Another slice
This time deeper
Smile returning as I watched the blood
As it overflowed
Spilling across my scarred arm
The intensity
The flavor
A stream graciously flowing
I flexed and it was ice all over again
A little longer the feeling stayed
Then the moment ended
Covering the incision with a Band-Aid
I'd head back to class

Again I was swallowed
By the grayness of depression
My fingers ran over the wound
A sliver of arctic winds
Satisfaction again
All this went on while you watched

And you tell someone
Only now
Now that you've found me
In a pool of blood on the floor
Now you decide to do something about it
Now you decide to tell my story
Now that I'm buried in the ground
Now that my soul burns behind the gates of Hell
If I could feel
I would hate you
For not doing something sooner