Drunk Again

(Why is it I write best when wasted? I can't remember writing a single word of this, and I refuse to edit it, so here it is)



I did it again
Drank until I couldn't feel
Puked until I couldn't breathe.
My throat burns,
I can still taste the bile.
The bitter acid, rising up my throat,
Reminding me that I am nothing
More than a bottle of liquor.
My heart fits in a shot glass,
That is what I have become.
Pathetic.
Drunk.
Can't even get the words out right.
Can't get a single feeling out right.
I still want to scream.
I want to pour it all out of me, into sound.
I want to become music.
Each note with define my soul,
Each key will mark my passage into life.
As the notes rise, so do I,
Just as I fall when the notes fall.
I take all I can into life,
Including the unpleasant.
For, after all, I am unpleasant.


Fuck, I puked earlier tonight.
I did it to see the lights.
I was spinning in a field,
And the lights all blurred together,
And the faster I span, the more beautiful they were.
So I kept spinning and spinning,
Racing the earth
Racing time
Racing life
And just when it seemed like I would win,
My stomach responded
And I was forced to let go of all that I was.
No longer could I pretend I was innocence.
Somewhere,
Someone out there understood me.