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Parody of the movie, A Walk to Remember. 2006. |
A Run to Forget LANDON’S BUDDY: Heh heh too bad that prank on a fellow high-school student went wrong and now you’re being punished with mandatory participation in various after-school activities, such as tutoring to younger disadvantaged children at the sister school and acting in the drama club's final production, the spring play. LANDON: Damn, I know! AND they’re making me pay the pay-to-participate fees! It’d be cheaper just going to jail. LANDON’S BUDDY: Heh heh yeah. Too bad the levy never passes. MIKE MIKOVICK*: VOTE FOR THE SCHOOL LEVY! LANDON: …That was weird. LANDON’S BUDDY: Heh heh yeah. [At the drama club’s final production, the spring play] LANDON: Wow this is gay. JAMIE: It’s not gay, it’s fine art! LANDON: …fags JAMIE: Your mentally subnormal insults to everything diverse and intellectual, just show what a closed-minded individual you are. You have no hope of a future, and will probably end up working as a janitor at some desolate, rural school that can’t pass their school levies. [Enter JANITOR] JANITOR: Heyyy!!! You meanie-head, microwave-face! [Exit JANITOR] LANDON: [Sigh] Yeah. I suck at memorizing too, wanna help me with the script? JAMIE: Well ok. But only because I pity you so much, not cuz I think you’re hot or anything LANDON: Ok cool JAMIE: You know what sucks? LANDON: What? JAMIE: My mom’s dead LANDON: That sucks [At Jamie’s house] JAMIE: Holy shitake mushrooms you’re a horrible memorizer! But you’ve got a fine ass. LANDON: Yeah I know. Your boobs are pretty cool. You wanna go out? JAMIE: Only if you promise not to fall in love with me. LANDON: Deal [At school] LANDON’S BUDDY: Haha you’re dating that freaky drama chick LANDON: She’s not a freaky drama chick! Why can’t you just be pleasant and accepting for once!? LANDON’S BUDDY: Cuz I said so LANDON: Well, I suppose that makes sense LANDON’S BUDDY: Yeah so you gonna dump the drama bitch soon LANDON: No! [Hits his buddy] LANDON’S BUDDY: Ow!!! Violence is NOT the answer! [At Jamie’s house] LANDON: Hey if you had terminal leukemia you’d tell me right? JAMIE: Well…now I would! I have terminal leukemia LANDON: That sucks JAMIE: Yeah it does. Do you know what that means? LANDON: Uhhh… JAMIE: I’m gonna die LANDON: That sucks. Like, a lot. JAMIE: Yeah. There’s sum stuff I want before I die though. Here’s a list! LANDON: Ok. [Reads list] LANDON: Hey I have a telescope in my pocket! Here ya go! [Hands her telescope] JAMIE: Oh that’s just a telescope? I thought…never mind LANDON: Heehee JAMIE: [dies] LANDON: Oh shit she’s dead. This really sucks, like, a lot. JAMIE: Just kidding. Let’s go get married LANDON: K [At the chapel in which Jamie's dead mother got married] LANDON: I do JAMIE: Me too REVEREND: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride [They kiss] JAMIE: [dies] LANDON: Haha very funny JAMIE: … LANDON: Oh no like something bad happened! You’re really dead! She’s really dead! This sucks. LANDON’S BUDDY: At least you became a better person through Jamie’s memory, achieving the goals that you set out to do, like she did LANDON: Yeah. Still sucks though. THE END *Mike Mikovick is a kid who went to my high school, who organized a commitee to help with its economic problems. This was originally written to entertain my friends, so inside-jokes made sense. |