Worst Day Ever

WORST DAY EVER

I was sitting with Charlene, my best friend, and she was talking about her worst day ever, the day Bobby Marcum broke up with her. I got to thinking about worst days and the day that popped to mind was a beautiful Monday, three days after my 25th birthday. The days leading up to my 25th birthday were wonderful ones. My parents had reconciled and were holding their second wedding two weeks after my birthday and my brother, Maxwell, and his wife welcomed their first son into the world a week before my birthday. On the same day I received the news about my brother and his son, I heard that my favorite aunt, Lizzie, had finally lost 100 pounds and was going to Vegas to celebrate and a company I had interviewed with three months earlier called to say that I had been hired and that the Monday after my birthday was to be my first day.

When Monday dawned, I woke up with a smile on my face and I was so happy that I actually skipped my usual breakfast of two cups of coffee in favor of orange juice and a bagel. That unusual behavior should have sent a warning to my brain about the rest of the day, but happiness and contentment crowded my brain and I wouldn’t have heard it anyway. After my unusual but satisfying breakfast, I went to take a shower and while in the midst of rinsing off soap suds, my shower groaned and so did I. Apparently the water had decided to take a vacation and forgot to leave a note as to when it was coming back. Luckily for me, during the last water vacation, I had stored enough water in a bucket to get me through the rest of my morning bath. After getting ready for work, I looked at the clock and realized that while I was taking great pains to pick out the perfect suit and makeup, time had gone ahead without waiting for me.

I had about an hour to get to a location that was two hours away from home, so I said a quick prayer and decided to go ahead and hail a cab. It is a well known fact that when paid extra, taxi drivers can get to any destination by traveling at the speed of light. As soon as I stepped onto the street, fate smiled at me and sent a taxi my way. I hailed the cab, gave the driver the location I was traveling to and promised an extra $100 if we got there in 45 minutes. The driver took off and just as I was getting my hopes high and imagining myself getting to work on time, the taxi stopped in the middle of the street, the driver jumped out and started yelling at a man who was peddling scarves on the side of the street. Soon after, both men started arguing and from what I could gather it had to do with a cat, a dog and a pet iguana. I wasn’t going to be late for work because my taxi driver chose that particular morning to settle a pet argument. I decided to sprint down to the office.

On the way there, I splashed mud on my shoes, tore my leggings when I slid on a banana peel, nearly got mauled by three dogs, bumped into an irate housewife who thought I was her husband’s mistress, and was chased by a cop because he thought I was a criminal running away from the scene of a crime. I am proud to announce that I indeed got to my destination in time. I snuck into the restaurant next door and paid $15 for the privilege of using the bathroom to fix me as well as I possibly could. As I exited the restaurant, I felt proud of myself. I had gone through hell and weathered everything nature had sent my way and yet I had made it to work on time. I pulled out the acceptance letter from ‘Pete, Pete and Peter Law firm’ and marched to the next building. To my dismay, I saw a notice on the door saying,

“The law office of PP&P has been closed for an indeterminate period of time. If you’ve got any cases with us, please call Mr. Simon of ‘Carmichael and Simper’ at 443- xxx- xx09.”

You cannot imagine how irate, flabbergasted and livid I was. I had gone through a lot that morning to arrive at a place that was no longer open. To top it off, I only had enough money to catch 2 buses home, but the nearest bus station was about two and a half miles away. Now don’t you agree with my assessment that, that was the worst day ever?