WAIT

There was a day when I was alone ..and speaking to no one.. living as far from a beating heart as I could and not ever wanting to see a human being again. In this great time of despair I sat near a stream upon a rock...Watching the water flow over the smooth stones and the insects buzz around the flowers nearby. I had lost a friend...a friend whom I loved so dearly..she was my mother.... and now she was gone...I looked to understand why we die..or live even...and why we were even here... I felt no love for anything..none in my heart to think of..yet a hatred..yes I felt hatred deep within me..and it truly festered...I hated death itself...and I spoke it aloud with tears... sometime had passed since I had been in the place that I retreated to when sad or alone... to think of the problems at hand...now..I was feeling empowered with my hate..and I would use it to drive myself forward from my bitterness..I hated death..and I would never let myself think otherwise.. Alone there I sat untill suddenly..there was movement nearby...At first I did not move..thinking only it was my imagination. No..it was not..it was something there..something that wanted to talk...to reason... to make a point to me...it was death itself. I knew what it was when I saw it..I did not flinch or stare.. I only sneeered and raised my hands to it and sPat TAKE MY LIFE YOU HATEFUL THING...FOR YOU CANNOT TAKE MY FORGIVENESS FOR YOUR DEEDS TO US ALL...it did not speak at first..it stood motionless and without a sound.. Then..it did speak..and with a voice surprisingly gentle...even beautiful...and in this soft voice it spoke to me... I have not come for your life ..nor have I come to take anything from you this day...I come to ask for forgiveness..and to ask that you release your grudge to me and accept my gift to those whom you have loved... I was astounded at the words it spoke..how can it believe it gives anything accept pain and sorrow..and I again spat the words. I HATE YOU...GO FROM ME AND NEVER RETURN...SAVE FOR YOUR HATEFUL QUEST TO TAKE MY LIFE AND END MY EXISTENCE ...softly it did reply The gift is not the end ..but a release to all the things that life gives you unpleasant..life is your curse not I.. life may indeed give you joy and happiness..it also gives you heartache and pain...the broken heart..the sickness and the hunger are not mine to give either...no..I give a release..a path that leads from all these thing...I listened intently...it had my attention...but Why must we die why must we lose those we love..you take them do you not??..yes it replied..yes I do take them..I rescue them in the very moment when lifes pain reaches its crescendo and in that release they pass away to peace and to silience...they are never truly at peace in the life they have untill I have shown them that place where I come... I said my mother...she was sick ..yes..and it was cancer..was it not your doing..no he said..cancer is a part of the life you have ..it is a blight to your soul.. an imperfection of which I do not have...death is perfect...there is no pain in death...no sickness..no suffering..you are free of these things here with me completely ..and I understood him..i felt the truth...I had wondered why they called him the angel of death..he was no murderer..no tyrant that swept down to slay us..and to spirit our souls away..no He..I laughed..i had responded to him as a man..as a something and not an it..now I had more questions for him...I asked..yes I see..you are an angel indeed..of mercy and of compassion...and I do understand your words..but what of those who die tragically..car crashed airplanes and explosions..why are you not to blame for these ..Death walked toward me slowly..and asked to sit... yes..please..and I slid from where I was sitting and made room for his form to rest itself... The gentle voice came upon me again..the silence broken by this strange and yet..very appealing voice of his...Do you not see that what one man would do to another..is that not the biggest mercy I can give one as to free him from the pain and the bloodshed of the world...Only he above knows of how a man will not know pain and so I cannot say how you would..But to leave a man upon the earth as his mortal form bleeds and burns..to know his body is finished and it itself cries for an end to the torment...AM I..could you sit upon the edges of reality to the screams of those in agony and do nothing.. I cry for them..I cry with them...and so..then I must give them release...I hold them and I cradle them in my arms and I speak words of peace to them all...as..I did your mother on the night she passed...I became angry again..how could he mention such a thing to me..did he not want forgiveness as to throw salt upon my still open wounds.And I cried...I cried so hard I thought my head would burst open...and as I did...he touched my arm...I did not die....nor did I wither away ...but I felt peace. He spoke to my heart with words that could never be forgotten by anyone whom has lost a loved one...he said...Your mother was not ready..she prayed for her children daily...and As I took her poor frail suffering body I heard her final prayer..as it was sent to GOD above..She asked not to be taken easily..or for her pain to end as well..no.. she asked for the ONE above to save her children..to hold them close..and to bring them home safely for her...And as she asked this last request of her Creator..and Her breath left her ..it was I who had the extreme pleasure of saying Rest Sweet mother..for none are forgotten by HE above ..and none who can reach him with out tasting my bitter sting..I will make sure they reach him and face his judgement..it is as he planned for you all..and so it shall be done..and then I gave her peace and she took it with such gladness ..and she slept..and she is over the trials of the life she lived...and I did not hate her...And she did not hate me...for those whom we hate would never do such deeds and make such promises... and as he finished these words I fell..I landed upon the ground with tears and screams that I thought would peirce the ears of the LORD himself...Where had my heart been..where had my understanding of things..and how could I hate anything that could have so much love for us all..the angel of death..yes..he was an angel..and he served his master well...and I lifted my head to look at him for the first time...expecting a hideous groteque figure to stand before me..but no..it was not as I had imagined..it was not at all A kind ,,,slightly pale face did i see..His eyes were soft..and his features were almost juvenile..and I pictured the things he had seen ..the suffering the disease and the bloodshed and I could see his pain for the fist time.. as he endured through it all..he kept our passing as his top priority..to remove us from the world we call life and to give us peace at last..untill the day we stand before our creator... And I said it with despair and sadness..I forgive you..and then I wept... I cannot remember how long I cried..or how long we had even talked..but I do remember eventually he took my hand and he lifted me to my feet. Thank you he said softly...Thank you for these words you speak honestly...I feel them and I hold them now ... Know that I serve you ..I serve all men and I love you each and everyone...and as he turned to leave I cried out WAIT..please dont leave..but he was gone..all except a whisper he left to me upon the wind that echoed for hours as I stared to a far away place...I will return .... and I knew he would..and I knew we would talk then and he would explain so many things to me and he would not be the thing I hated and despised from my nightmares..no...Death...would be my friend..and so I wait..as we all do..for the friend who will walk us to a place we may or may not dread.. but yes he will come..and he will never forget us..not one...for it is his promise to us..and to the FATHER above...and so now ...I wait...