The serpent in the orchard.

The skies were painted golden behind clouds shaped like stringy white hair. From the orchard, it looked as if god himself dipped his fingertips into the celestial mane and raked it along the dawn sky. The wind was lovely, as the breath of angels sang softly from above, flowing easy breezes through the orchard, causing the leaves and branches to wave riddance to the moon, and a gracious hello to the emerging sun.

With a basket of apples strapped to his shoulders, he strolled happily through the greens, whistling his favorite tune.

“Come on Elmer. You did good work today,” Ren said to his prickly dog. "Come on if you wanna nuther apple slice."

The hyper pup woofed in response. Ren loved Elmer's company more than anything. Elmer -his bestest friend in the whole world- would always follow him on his apple picking runs just to run laps around his leg, bounce its body off of his knees, leap leap leap to his shoulders trying to upset the delicate balance of the apples stacked high above the basket. He didn’t mind it at all. Elmer was his best friend, always as excited about apple picking as he was. He’d always planned to flee the orphanage, just he and Elmer. They'd live in a tent, or maybe even build themselves a pirate ship so they could travel everywhere they wanted to go when they wanted to- it didnt matter as long as Elmer was at his side.

"Such a beautiful day huh pal. Maybe, if you're good, I'll let you run around the orchard a bit til you get tired. Just dont do no business near any of the apples okay."

The apple run was the closest thing to freedom he had. The nuns sent him -
without breakfast- to pick apples for the rotten kids in his orphanage so they could bake a pie for dessert, a treat he was never allowed to eat because he was always in trouble. He didn’t mind the task, as long as Elmer was there, and as long as he got some time away from those bully nuns; always making him go to bed early and sit in a corner for nor reason. Oh, they had a reason alright, he thought. He knew they just didnt plain like him. But he didnt care... Elmer was all he needed.

“What’s wrong boy?”

Elmer’s excitement had come to a halt. His body tensed as he growled menacingly towards the large apple tree before them. It was a strange sight. The tree looked funny: short, but incredibly fat, and ugly. Strange indeed, but not surprising to Ren.

He prided himself on his bravery. When everybody -girls and boys- fleed at the sight of a teeny little mouse, he'd snatch the mouse by the tail and toss it out the front door- he didnt need to wash his hands after he did it either. And none of those cowardly, chicken-hearted kids would wave their palms over the candle flame in the cathedral like he would. And when the dictator nuns at the orphanage sentenced him to apple picking duties, he accepted the task with a raised chin; despite ill worded fables of kidnappers, ghosts, and monsters lurking the orchard.

“Nothing to be afraid of Elmer. We’ll walk around the tree.”

They approached the tree. His eyes darted from sided to side, hearing the leaves rattle, apples being plucked by the wind and thumping against the ground, a subtle hiss...

“Anybody there?!”

“Other than you an I? No.”

“Where are you?”

A twelve foot serpent slithered from large gash in the center of the deformed tree. “Approach the tree boy, so that I may get a better look at you. My eyes arent what they used to be.”

“Why... why do you need a closer look at me sir?”

“Are you afraid boy?”

Ren raised his chin, tightened the strap on his apple basket, and approached the snake without any hesitation. “You have the best look at me I could offer sir.” The snake was plenty longer than he first thought. The second half of the creature made rings about the many branches and bushels, some looping two and three times.

“Good... you are a tender little boy aren’t you? So much more tender than the last...”

Ren raised an eyebrow. “Are you the creature which lurks through the orchard. you gotta be.”

“Indeed.”

Elmer growled, gritting it teeth as the snake slyly hung his head low, closer to the boy, eye level with the dog.

“So... you are the beast who murders anyone who travels through the orchard? You have a taste for small children especially.”

“Yes. I am that beast.” The beast replied in a soft, arrogant tone; as if the reputation of terror and murder was the highest form of flattery offered. “And I do prefer small children. The meat is far more tender.”

“Hmmm. I knew you were real.”

“Did you now?” The creature encircled the boy in spinning loops of leathery green.

“Yep.”

“You’re a smart boy.”

“Yes. The smartest boy in my orphanage,” Ren replied with a grin.

“So you know what happens next,” the snake said, flashing a grin of his own.

“I have an idea.” Ren drew an apple from his pocket, taking large bites, leaving the sweet droplets to roll down his lips. “This is good... don’t ask for a bite, because they’re so good, I don’t have any to spare.”

“You pick those apples from my orchard boy.” The serpents voice grew angry.

"Huh?" the boy took a third and fourth bite.

"That is my apple. This... This is my orchard, I claim it."

“Do you have a deed proving this claim?”

“I do not need to prove anything to breakfast,” the serpent replied.

The boy sighed. “You’re right. How rude of me.” He raised his hand with the bitten apple to the air.

“That’s more like it.” The serpent wrapped his tongue around the bitten apple, withdrawing tongue and fruit into his mouth.

The boy slapped his knees in laughter.

“Whats so funny breakfast?”

“For such a big body, your appetite is awfully small. You look like you’re ready to bust after one apple.”

“Not true,” the serpent puffed and hissed.

The boy unstrapped the basket of apples.

“I am the biggest eater in my orphanage. I can eat twelve griddle cakes and not even get sick. I know a lightweight when I see one.”

“I’ve eaten an entire army infantry, cannons and wagons included” the serpent replied.

“That’s nothing. I’ve eaten three birthday cakes. Then played in a game of tetherball after, and won big. Ask Elmer...”

“I’ve eaten a whole heard of buffalo. Then chased down a mountain lion and ate him and his young.”

The boy snickered. “You’re lying.”

The serpent rose well above the boy.

“How dare you insult me!”

Ren stood in a puddle of shadow, watching up at the enraged serpent. “Calm down. I’m just saying... just because you have a big body, doesnt mean you have a big appetite. This kid in my school is much fatter than me, but he cant eat as much as me...”

“So what,” the snake replied.

“So... You have to prove it. Or.. You can eat me, and I’ll die doubting you. Or... I could die feeling dumb that I doubted you. Which would you rather have?”

The serpent was quiet, watching the boy, pondering on what his would-be-breakfast was telling him. “What do you propose breakfast?”

“You like apples?”

“Yes. I like the apples in my orchard. They’re the sweetest, juiciest, plumpest apples in all the world.”

“So do I. I dunno about the world thing but they're really good.”

Ren pulled out his pocket watch- the only memory of his parents. “Whoever can eat the most apples, will be, the king eater of the orchard... got it?”

“I understand,” the serpent said with confidence.

Ren took the extra apple he had sitting in his pocket. “Ready beast?”

“I am ready.”

“For all the marbles. On the count of three. One... two... thre-”

Ren took large, shark-like bites of the apple. He was no match for the serpent; which swept its head across the orchard road, catching the basket between its teeth, swallowing the basket and all of its apples whole.

The apples that took the boy hours to pick were gone in under thirty seconds, taken by the cocky serpent in a single swoop. The creature used his remaining time to laugh and taunt the young boy.

Ren finished his apple with only seconds to spare.

“Looks like I’m victorious boy. What do you have to say now?”

Ren exhaled. “Congratulations. You beat me fair and square. You are the king eater of the orchard sir.”

“Thank you. Since you are such a good sport, I can offer you a favor. I can stop the blood flow to your bran and youll fall unconscious, so you will not feel the sharpness of my teeth picking the meat from your bones.”

“No.. I don’t think so Mr. Serpent,” the boy replied.

“Very well then boy. Die in agony.”

The beast unraveled its full body from the trees. It stretched high enough to taste the clouds, before descending towards the boy and his dog, waving his mighty tongue across its lips. The serpent never reached... It fell to the ground, in agony, wriggling like a worm in the rain.

The boy groaned, kicking the dirt in frustration. “Stupid monster... I picked and prepared those apples for my orphanage.”

The serpent foamed at the mouth. “Pre...pared?”

“Yes. I seasoned the apples for the crumby kids in my orpanage.”

"Seas...oned?"

Ren threw his hand over his eyes. "Ugh... poison you big lumphead, pay attention."

“Poisoned. Well... You... you poisoned yourself then...”

“Oh. No Mr. Serpent sir. Only the apples in the basket were prepared. The ones I ate were from my pocket, those were okay.” Elmer sniffed one of the loose apples on the ground. “No Elmer, those apples are bad.”

Ren plucked Elmer from the ground, cradling him in his arms, whispering into his raised ears. Elmer licked his face and he laughed.

“What’s happening to me?” The beast raised its head in a desperate attempt to move and almost immediately fell back to the floor. Foam overtook its face as one of its fangs loosened from his gums, shattering like glass on the orchard ground.

“Well... um... I think your insides are being liquefied. Its going to look all slushy in less than a minute. That stuff that looks like vanilla ice cream with strawberry syrup... thats probably your stomach or something. One would have gotten one person, but you.. You’re a big monster. All those poison apples should be enough to get you I was thinking. That’s why I made up the contest. Because I knew’d you win over me. But I didnt lie about the birthday and griddle cakes I swear. I did eat all of that. But your still the eating king of the orchard.”

“Why would you kill..?” asked the serpent.

“I think they sent me here to this orchard, knowing you were here. I always suspected nobody there liked me.”

“I don’t like you... I hate you... I’ll kill you.” said the snake, choking on the bubbling white foam.

"I dont think so Mr. Serpent." Ren rubbed his scalp as if a thought was just itching to reach his lips. “You want to know the funny thing Mr. Snake. Don’t you see it as ironic that you’ve killed many many children in all those stupid fairy tale stories about you, now by eating a whole basket those apples, you are saving many many children from being poisoned... you're a hero.”

The serpent tried to speak, but unleashed a long, croaking moan in place of words. It’s color began to turn. Its eyes flooded with white foam as its jaw loosened from its body, falling to the ground.

“Ewww. Don’t look Elmer.” He covered the dog’s eyes and walked off the center path, into the orchard, around the ugly tree and the dissolving snake.

Ren sighed. “Now how are we going to explain another broken basket to the rotten nuns Elmer?”

Elmer barked in reply as they walked towards the rising sun, leaving the orchard until it was time again to return; to pick and season another basket of apples for his orphanage.