Until We Meet...Again

Until We Meet…Again



The first split second decision Jai Walia had taken had changed his life forever, so had the second. As he sat in Zoya’s favorite rocking chair by the window watching the colors of dusk change to darkness, his mind recollected the two decisions. Both revolved around the same person. Both taken for the benefit of the same person, yet one had given him love, life, laughter and a joy that went beyond the dreams of most people. While the second had left him deprived of everything a person needed to live.



March 22, 2006 a day his dreams turned to reality. The day Zoya became his; he still remembered the tears in her eyes when he tied the mangalsutra around her neck, filled her forehead with sindoor. Though he had loved her, she was in love with his nephew, and on March 22, 2006 was set to marry Ranveer. But his nephew had eloped with another girl leaving Zoya alone at mandap. He had stepped in as the knight in shinning armor to save her family’s grace and honor. That is what the media had printed, but in reality he had stepped in because he had loved Zoya. He could still hear her laughter, the lilt of her voice. He still remembered her smell, how she felt in his arms, the shy smile, and the blush that tinged her face every time he made love to her.  He had given her everything she wanted, everything she desired, he still loved her and yet here he sat alone a man of 37.



His mind took him back to his favorite memory, the first day they spent together, alone or what he liked to term as their first date. On being pressured by Maasi, his wife had silently entered his office with his lunch. It was the tinkle of her bangles that had alerted him to her presence. On lifting his eyes his heart had stopped before taking off on a gallop. She stood before him, her hands holding his lunch, her head bent; satiny hair tumbled down her left shoulder. Wearing a chiffon sari as soft as butter in the palest shade of pink, from her ears dangled pearl earrings, pink and white bangles adorned her hands; her neck was bare except for her mangulsutra and sindoor on her forehead. All he had wanted was to make her his, show Zoya he loved her and had not married her out of pity or to save the honor of her family, that was just the bonus. On impulse he had canceled his meetings for the rest of the day, then taking her by her hand had led her to his Jaguar XK convertible, a car only he drove. Turning down the top he entered the busy streets of Mumbai. On the way he had bought her flowers, bending over the console his breath warm, soft caressing her ear, he had helped pin the flowers in her hair, delicately running his fingers on her nape on purpose. Zoya had stopped breathing, resuming only after he had returned to his seat. Zoya’s reaction to his proximity had thrilled him.



Notes from Kenny G’s saxophone had filled the air, slowly Zoya relaxed, laying her hand on the console, he had slowly covered her hand with his palm, on realizing Zoya had not withdrawn her hand Jai had grinned. Her face was hidden behind the curtain of her hair; he had slowly tucked her hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek. Her face had turned a few shades darker than her sari.



A day had tuned into a week, it had been the best week of his life. He would have willing spent his life with her at their Alibaug beach house, just her and him, cocooned away from the rest of the world. Life would have been perfect. If he had maybe she would have still been here with him. He still remembered everything about that week like it was yesterday. The way she shied away from him, until he had confessed his love to her. Explained to Zoya, he, Jai Walia had fallen in love with her the day she had made her first marketing presentation wearing a navy blue pin stripe pantsuit with a pale lemon blouse. He had loved everything about her except the way she had worn her hair, up in a French chignon. But before he could have pursued her Ranveer had announced their engagement. Wanting Zoya to be happy he had stepped back. But the Gods had smiled on him when Ranveer had eloped, giving Zoya to him.



“I love you.” He had simply stated.



She had smiled trying to hide her pain on hearing Ranveer’s name but her eyes had betrayed her. He had seen the pearl of tears fill the corner of her eyes, before she had walked away. The same evening while he was reading his business journal she had returned freshly showered, her hair swinging down her back, wearing solid fuchsia pink Capri with a white and pink paisley printed tank top. She had slowly approached him, initially perched on the far edge of the sofa she had slowly and silently scooted next to him, gently placing her head on his shoulder. That night had been their true wedding night, he had shown her he loved her, she in return had accepted him as part of her, had promised to love him until eternity and never leave him. But she had lied she had left him. Yet he loved her and would until he took his last breath.



Life could not have been sweeter Zoya loved him. He remembered the first time she had whispered the three words in his ear, standing in his arms under the star spangled sky with the moon up high, the waves crashing in the background, cold sand under their feet coming up on her toes her hands locked around his neck, she had dropped feather kisses along his jaw line on the way to his ear where she had whispered,



“I love you Jai. Thank you for loving me.”



In response he had taken her lips, his hands had roamed her body eliciting soft sounds of pleasure, her hands had followed suit. They had ended up making love behind the sand dunes like teens, but if Jai were to describe his feelings that night, “teenagers” would be the perfect word. They had lain there on his Gucci blazer, covered by her sari satiated, lethargic and content to be in each other’s arms, arriving back home past 6am. Life continued to get better it was six months of living in paradise. Jai would take time off work so he could take Zoya on day trips around Mumbai. Panchgani had been their favorite destination. His mind summoned up their last visit two weeks before she had left him. They had been sitting on a hill approximately 5000 feet above sea level. The river Krishna flowed far below them snaking its way among the Sahyadri Mountains. A cool breeze was blowing; he sat against a tree looking out with Zoya resting on his chest. He played with her hair his fingers wandering down her neckline; she kept swatting his hands off,

“Jai we are in public, please behave” had been her mantra of the evening. But she had asked him for something that evening which, he had refused to give her just then, he had promised it to her later. But she had not stayed long enough for him to fulfill his promise.

It had been more than three years since Zoya had made her final request, yet he heard the conversation in his head every day. He could repeat it word for word,



“Jai I want something from you.” Zoya had hesitatingly started the conversation

“Zoya, why are you hesitating, ask. Have I ever said no to you. If I can I will give it to you, get it for you or buy it for you.”

“Oh Jai, only you can give me what I want. There is no one else who can give me this or who I would ask.”

“Now I am curious what do you want?”

“A baby, yours and mine. A little girl who would have your eyes, your smile, your face but my hair and my nose because you have a big nose.” She teased.



Pulling her closer, hugging her with all his love,



“Zoya, lets wait until we have been married for one year. I am too selfish; I don’t want to share you just yet. Even if it’s with my own child, I am not ready. Do you think you can wait another six months before we start practicing in earnest?”



Her response had been to turn around take his face in her palms and nod her agreement. She had never asked for anything again.



Two weeks later, she had left him. It was his fault she was no longer with him. Jai had wanted to celebrate their six-month of togetherness. He requested she meet him at her favorite restaurant. Zoya had dressed up with Jai in mind. Worn a pink sari with silver embroidery on the border, her hair left open, curled at that the bottom. The diamond set he had presented to her after they had returned from Alibaug, “your mooh dikhayee gift” he had teased her. Satisfied with her look, she had driven out in her BMW. Having just entered the freeway; her car was gaining speed when she had been struck. A drunk driver speeding at 85 miles an hour had rear ended Zoya’s car, sending it flying across the median onto head on a traffic where her car had successfully lodged it’s hood under a truck. Not wearing her seat belt she had been thrown into the air bag before landing on the floor behind the console. The air bags had protected her face and nothing else.



Entering the hospital Jai rushed past the reception passed the nurses station thru the doors of the emergency room. Pushing curtains apart, frantically yelling Zoya…Zoya…Zoya…. She had never answered him then or ever again. A nurse had led him to her. Jai had taken a sigh of relief when he saw her.



“Not a scratch on her face. She looked serene. She must be sleeping. She kept her promise she did not leave me.” His mind justified.



An oxygen mask covered her face, an IV needled punctured her inner arm, a red light glowed from her toe, a machine beeped. Indicating Zoya was alive she was breathing. Needing answers Jai went looking for the physician in charge. Sitting across from the doctor in his cramped office, Jai’s world had come crashing down when Dr. Seth said,

         

“Mr. Walia, your wife is in coma. I am not sure if she feels anything at this time, I am not sure if she can hear, I am not sure if this is permanent. It’s too soon to tell. We have to wait for the swelling from her brain to decrease. We are headed for the operating room in the next 15 minutes, as there is internal bleeding in her abdomen. Your wife is critical, her survival cannot be guaranteed.”



Shaken to the core of his being, Jai walked back to Zoya’s bedside a dead man. Unaware he had tears sliding down his cheeks. Entering Zoya’s room, he had kissed her forehead,



“I love you Zoya. Don’t leave me, not so soon. Not ever. I won’t survive without you by my side. You are my soul, the reason for my happiness, the reason for me to live. You promised eternity and beyond, how can you desert me mid stream? I need you to live, to be alive. Without you, I am a dead man walking. Come back to me.”



She had. Zoya had lived for the next two years, in the hospital in a coma. Jai had delegated his business, not caring if he every made a profit again. Then spent every waking minute and most of his nights by Zoya. He had flown the best physicians in from all over the world. When needed he had taken Zoya to them in an air ambulance. But it did not matter which part of the world the physician arrived from, it did not matter where he took Zoya, the verdict was the same.



“I am sorry Mr. Walia but we cannot do anything more for your wife. Her brain has stopped functioning. She does not feel any pain. She will never react or wake up. It’s time to let go of your wife and let her die with dignity and grace.”



But Jai had clung on for the next two years, until the fateful day when he had let go. He still remembered the split second decision, in which he had decided to let her go and live with the angels; his best friend had come to visit, the conversation still fresh in his mind Jai recalled,



“Jai are you holding onto Zoya because there is hope for her to live again or are you clinging onto her because you need her?” Tarun had not relented, “Do you think Zoya would want to live like this? Do you think she wants you to remember her as she is now or as the vivacious, vibrant woman she was? Are you doing right by Zoya in not letting her die with dignity and grace?” Then as a friend he Tarun had continued, “stop being selfish Jai, live with her memories, let her go and reside with angels. You will meet her again. This is not the end.”



The moment Jai was alone in Zoya’s room he had taken the decision that had changed his life forever. He lost the will to live, his life felt deprived of oxygen. But he had done what was right for Zoya. Remembering their last seconds together Jai had kissed Zoya on her forehead,



“Zoya, I love you, because of which I am going to let you go. I am going listen to what you have been trying to tell me for the last two years. It’s time to let you go. But sweetheart this is not good bye, this is just until we meet…again.”



Tears had slid down his face, just as they had everyday since Zoya had left him. It had been over year since he had last touched her. His life had ended the day she had left him for the angels. He still loved her, he would until he took his last breath, he still wanted her and yet it was because of this love that he had let her go while he had stayed behind. He now waited for death to invite him, so he could be with Zoya…again.