Eyes

                  It was the way I stared that scared her.  I could tell that she didn’t know what to think or how to truly feel. My eyes bore into her soul even as she tried to pull her gaze away, but my intention was unrelenting; I would not look away until I forced her to see what I could.  Imagine her surprise when she saw that she was looking into a mirror.

                   “What a horrible thing to feel,” I said to her, “Just imagine feeling like that.” I looked at my long time companion whose eyes were not locked on me anymore, but were closed. She breathed deep, letting the air inflate her chest and fall back down.  In a way I did not know what to say, I knew that I couldn’t ever help the way she felt about herself: her self-consciousness, her weaknesses, her ignorance. My words only ranged from a sad smile to the words of wisdom that lined her bedroom walls. When she finally opened her eyes, she caught my eyes and held her own.  I surmised that she wasn’t ready.

                   She has never known that I was here.  I am the one who has seen her in her glory and the one who has understood what that glory was. I do not possess human names but I am the one who lingers behind every mirror under the pseudo name of “reflection”. You cannot begin to imagine what it feels like to stare helplessly at one such as her and know  she cannot see you.  Days pass like stones dragged across the ocean into stuffy nights filled with regret and salty traces along her pillow. Unknown to her, I stare even deeper into her soul and try to force to see what I see.

                   No matter how many times I try to, I can’t get her to see. So badly I want her to see that understanding and the answers to her questions take time and patience. Forever has it been that she stares at me with those eyes and drills me with unanswerable questions.  Her stubbornness, her lack of confidence makes it even more apparent that maybe she doesn’t really want answers to those questions. As I look back at her I realize that one day, when she looks into our mirror, she’ll finally have some answers.